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Marie McKinney-Oates

Nashville, Tennessee

Relationship Counselor, Nashville Marriage Studio

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Nashville Marriage Studio's Blog

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TOP IDEA: Marie McKinney-Oates I run a relationship/marriage advice blog focused on engaged and newlywed couples. I used to provide couples counseling, but I'm beginning to believe that counseling at this stage is not very effective (the couples have rose-colored glasses and are preoccupied with the wedding, which I completely understand). I want to create an information product out of my services instead. Are there any suggestions on topics to cover and ideas for marketing a product like this online?

27 weeks ago from Power Couples, Creating a Life You Love and New Media Marketing 1 more

Dave Ellis The Christmas card (as we know it) will end with Gen Y? http://bit.ly/fPsX6W Do you find this sad - or just part of the progression in our increasingly online lives? Do you even send / receive Christmas cards anymore?

76 weeks ago from I am Gen Y

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Vanessa Gallo: I agree with you Elizabeth - I am notorious among my circle for writing lengthy card messages for birthdays etc that are very personal. If I just ...MoreI agree with you Elizabeth - I am notorious among my circle for writing lengthy card messages for birthdays etc that are very personal. If I just get a To: Vanessa - Card Message - From: So and So it is not effective.
76 weeks ago

Dave Ellis: "Notorious"? I think that's cool that you put effort into it.
76 weeks ago

Marie McKinney-Oates joined the group New Media Marketing

76 weeks ago

Marie McKinney-Oates Would Kate and Prince William be considered a "power couple"? I read a HuffPo article (http://huff.to/gtKaU) about them being an example of 20-something courtship and I wonder if anyone agrees. Are they a good example of how we do things since they are in their late twenties? Does it sit funny for anyone else that she doesn't have a "career" since that seems to be such an important part of partnerships for Gen Y? Especially for women.

77 weeks ago from Power Couples

Rebecca Thorman recommended this

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Paul Sevcik: Alright, I agree with many of the comments thus far. The problem I have is properly identifying a true power couple for Gen Y. Am I that out of ...MoreAlright, I agree with many of the comments thus far. The problem I have is properly identifying a true power couple for Gen Y. Am I that out of touch with my generation or is it not important for Gen Y yet because the definition of success is changing from just plain ol' power-and-money to social influence and entertainment value? For example, I don't think Heidi Montag/Spencer Pratt are a power couple, but they sure do grab many headlines and are constantly in the public mind (they are bankrupt, for the record. Source: http://bit.ly/e2jyMR). Just some food for thought...and here's some more regarding local non-celebrity power couples: http://bit.ly/gqMZni
77 weeks ago

Rob Vance: I'd say the closest thing we have to a true "power couple" is Beyonce and Jay-Z, they've both got power and influence extending far beyond their ...MoreI'd say the closest thing we have to a true "power couple" is Beyonce and Jay-Z, they've both got power and influence extending far beyond their initial music careers.
77 weeks ago

TOP IDEA: Mehnaz Thawer I have been chatting with a couple of friends who are considering Online Dating. I have no expertise in the area (and a few hangups about it too). They seem to think it's the wave of the future. What do others think out there? Any experience with it? Love it? Hate it?

78 weeks ago

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Andrew Shell: CCAP stands for "Consolidated Court Automation Programs" and if you live in WI you just go to MoreCCAP stands for "Consolidated Court Automation Programs" and if you live in WI you just go to http://wcca.wicourts.gov/

Basically it's a way to look up court cases. So you can look someone up in WI and see if they have been arrested, got speeding tickets, if they have been through a divorce, if they are a sex offender, etc. Basically anything that goes through the court system ends up on here. I suspect other states have similar websites.

Here is a page that has a directory from different states. http://bit.ly/hjmKfN
78 weeks ago

Mehnaz Thawer: Ah, i see. Well that's a handy little website isn't it? I'll have to let folks know if there is a Canadian equivalent. There should be...(one ...MoreAh, i see. Well that's a handy little website isn't it? I'll have to let folks know if there is a Canadian equivalent. There should be...(one would think). Thanks for clarifying!
78 weeks ago

Marie McKinney-Oates There's an interesting conversation going on about whether or not it's wise for a couple to merge their finances. It seems like most people agree to keep things relatively separate, but I'm wondering what happens when things get tight? Like someone loses a job or makes consistently poor financial decisions? Do you begin a borrower/lender relationship? Do just tell your partner they're screwed? I mean, any setup works great when there's money in the bank, but what happens when funds get low?

78 weeks ago from Personal Finance and Power Couples

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John Pollock: Steph: If we had had the ability to sock away a 6-12 month emergency fund we wouldn't be in this mess. It's precisely because we were living ...MoreSteph: If we had had the ability to sock away a 6-12 month emergency fund we wouldn't be in this mess. It's precisely because we were living hand-to-mouth that my wife says is the primary reason why she left. (Which of course is logically absurd -- she and I and our kids are now way worse off financially and all of our lifestyles have taken a huge hit.)
78 weeks ago

Steph Bruno: John, I acknowledge that it is difficult to save the money for the emergency fund. Hopefully your story can be an inspiration for those who do ...MoreJohn, I acknowledge that it is difficult to save the money for the emergency fund. Hopefully your story can be an inspiration for those who do have the ability to save to give up some personal spending now to prevent a situation like this down the road. I agree that supporting two households on the same income will only make the situation worse.
78 weeks ago

Marie McKinney-Oates joined the group Personal Finance

79 weeks ago

Elysa Rice just read this post from Mint.com (recommended blog to subscribe to) - How Do Couples Divide Their Money? http://bit.ly/dz89J I'm curious which category do you fall in as a couple. "Should couples merge all their finances, or should they take a “mine, yours and ours” approach"

79 weeks ago from Personal Finance and Power Couples

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Saundra Sorenson: Every successful couple I know who has weighed in on this said the joint account for shared expenses is the way to go. A piece of advice from a ...MoreEvery successful couple I know who has weighed in on this said the joint account for shared expenses is the way to go. A piece of advice from a financial guru resonated with me -- don't make a rule about putting in the same $ amount, contribute the same percentage of your income.

Also, I think it's healthy to have your own personal cushion. In this situation, having a financial "fall back" is less a sign that you don't have faith in a relationship -- it can actually (in my experience) make both partners feel more comfortable, and more like they're staying together for reasons other than pure necessity.
79 weeks ago

Saundra Sorenson: @ Rebecca Thorman - Completely agree. I actually think that in that way, a prenup might ease the pressure on the relationship down the line.
79 weeks ago

Melissa Larson I have recently started a business called BirdcageBridal.com. It is a website where people can buy and sell new and used wedding items. I have had great responses about the idea but I am having trouble finding those first customers to list their items. Any advice?

80 weeks ago from Gen-Y Professional Bloggers, GenYJourney: Tips, Insights, Experiences For Young Professionals and Young Professional Women (YPW)1 more

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Timothy Johnson III: Hi Melissa. I found an awesome post about starting up a company and nine steps you should ask yourself - I think the post might help with ways to ...MoreHi Melissa. I found an awesome post about starting up a company and nine steps you should ask yourself - I think the post might help with ways to think about where/how to find customers: http://www.inc.com/millennial-entrepreneurs/why-be-passionate-is-awful-a...
79 weeks ago

Nor Franco: Start with your friends and friends' friends. And allow the word-of-mouth ad dot he rest.
79 weeks ago

Kayla Zajec Wedding planner needed in Minneapolis? For the last year, I have been planning my own wedding, for the last 2 years I have been managing corporate projects, so the idea I can not shake: Becoming a wedding planner! More specifically, tending to the day-of-needs of a beaming bride! What are some ways for me to create my own space in this market? Do you have any tips for me?

97 weeks ago from Entrepreneurs

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Rebecca Thorman: I have been thinking in this vein as well - I think there are a lot of wedding planners. What's missing is an online site where you can plan and ...MoreI have been thinking in this vein as well - I think there are a lot of wedding planners. What's missing is an online site where you can plan and rent all your needs for do-it-yourselfers. So here's my idea that you're free to steal - create a site, like SomethingBorrowed.com and list all the items that one needs for a wedding (place settings, table cloths, candles, lights, etc. etc.) that people can rent (ala RentTheRunway.com) for a specified time period and return when they're done. Supplement it with a lot of wedding content and ideas/inspiration.
96 weeks ago

Marie McKinney-Oates: I work with lots of engaged couples and wedding vendors here in Nashville, and a site like Rebecca is talking about is a really good idea. I know ...MoreI work with lots of engaged couples and wedding vendors here in Nashville, and a site like Rebecca is talking about is a really good idea. I know that The Thirty Something Bride is thinking about a site similar to that (www.thethirtysomethingbride.com)

As for creating a space in this market blog, blog, blog. Seriously. I don't know anyone more addicted to blogs than brides.
96 weeks ago

Rebecca Thorman My friend Nisha just posted on a study that found that children who grew up in a house with 500+ books stay in school three years longer than kids who grew up in homes with fewer books. (http://ow.ly/1SFEL) Like Nisha, this was certainly true in my case. I was a book worm (I even won an award for reading the most books in kindergarten and was totally down with the Pizza Hut Book It! program) :) and still love to read to this day. What about you?

103 weeks ago from Education, Education Conversations, Book Shelf and Brazen Reads - Virtual Book Club 2 more

Elysa Rice recommended this

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Becky Benishek: @Lee, that's awesome -- and if kindergarten is anything like I remember, it'll be great fun for your oldest to read to the other kids in class.
97 weeks ago

Rick Wahlberg: The program David Brooks writes about is excellent.
MoreThe program David Brooks writes about is excellent.
http://query.nytimes.com/gst/fullpage.html?res=9E0DEFD81E39F93AA35754C0A...

I came from a family of readers and we all did well. As did my own children.
96 weeks ago

Marie McKinney-Oates My in-laws are leaving their dog (a chihuahua) with us for the rest of the year and we have 2 cats. Is there any way for us to all just get along, or are the cats just going to have to deal with hiding in our bedroom for the rest of the year? What I'd like to see is for the cats to realize they are bigger than this dog and could own him if they wanted to, but I don't think they've understood my coaching thus far ("Nala, you're bigger, you're stronger, and gosh darnit, people like you!")

103 weeks ago from Animal Companions

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Marie McKinney-Oates: Rebecca and Barbie, thanks so much for the suggestions! I'll be trying them this weekend and report on the progress.
103 weeks ago

Raquel Elle Bell: I have two cats and two pitt bulls. My older cat who has been with me for fifteen years has been an outside cat and very afraid of dogs. He hid ...MoreI have two cats and two pitt bulls. My older cat who has been with me for fifteen years has been an outside cat and very afraid of dogs. He hid for a while, but once he realized that we would not let the dogs hurt him he now roams around without issue. I think the best way is to make sure that when the dog is around the cat that you are very quick to remove him from the cats if he starts to get a little out of control that way the cats will see that you are in control of the situation and they have nothing to worry about.
103 weeks ago

Ryan Paugh What’s more difficult to achieve: A successful relationship or a successful startup? Jun Loayza asked me this very question a couple weeks ago and wrote a blog post about it over here >> http://bit.ly/bAUO73 My response was: If you’re in a good start up and a good relationship, they’re equally difficult. Oftentimes for me it’s the conflict between the two that brings the most stress. How would you have answered his question???

103 weeks ago from Web Startups, Upstarts!, Shotgun Startups and Power Couples 2 more

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Ryan Paugh: @Mike -- I think that one of the most difficult parts of start-up life is not killing your business partners during the early stages of your ...More@Mike -- I think that one of the most difficult parts of start-up life is not killing your business partners during the early stages of your business :)

All jokes aside, I think you might be right. For me, it's always been the conflict between my personal and professional relationships that's been the most challenging. But if that conflict didn't exist I would probably say that maintaining healthy start-up relationships is most difficult.
103 weeks ago

Raquel Elle Bell: With any relationship or start up defined roles and responsibilities are key with accountability, trust, honesty and the most important of all ...MoreWith any relationship or start up defined roles and responsibilities are key with accountability, trust, honesty and the most important of all communication. If you keep it simply, never assume, and throw out the unspoken rules you'll be good. Many times we assume that the people we are working with are going to be on the same page, or have the same aptitude as us because they are in business. It's very rarely true.
103 weeks ago

Marie McKinney-Oates Al and Tipper Gore are separating. Supposedly an affair is not to blame, and basically they both ended up carving out separate lives. I'd think this is how plenty of Power Couples meet their end... anyone have any tips on how to chase after your own dream while staying connected to your partner?

103 weeks ago from Power Couples

Rebecca Thorman: That's really surprising to me - the reason. I think you have to have similar values (not necessarily dreams) and allow the other person to grow ...MoreThat's really surprising to me - the reason. I think you have to have similar values (not necessarily dreams) and allow the other person to grow and change. My boyfriend and I are deeply intertwined in terms of the activities and interests we're both involved in being so similar. I often wonder what will happen when this is inevitably not the case. His parents are a good example - they try to do some activities together no matter what even when their interests diverge. Like going to the gym... I've just recently started working out with Ryan, and I have to say it's really fun, but I get annoyed that he's in better shape than me :)
103 weeks ago

Marie McKinney-Oates: In grad school we called what probably happened to the Gores 'drifting'. It's slow and no one notices it at first, but one day you look up and ...MoreIn grad school we called what probably happened to the Gores 'drifting'. It's slow and no one notices it at first, but one day you look up and you're worlds apart. It's sad really. What's worse is that it's one of the hardest problems to fix because it's two new people having to fall in love all over again.

I think the drifting happens when couples don't commit to prioritizing together time (like you and Ryan & his parents are doing). Together time that facilitates that feeling of "We're a team" is the really important kind. I think couples should focus on finding goals or projects that they want to accomplish together, like getting fit or getting a business off the ground.

Mark and I need to find a physical activity to get into together... we're thinking tennis will be fun. I'll probably not talk to him for a week if he beats me, though... so we'll see how it goes :)
103 weeks ago

Marie McKinney-Oates So how is everyone doing with Making Ideas Happen? I'll be honest, I haven't gotten into it quite yet... is there a point in the book I should skip to, like where it starts to get amazing?

104 weeks ago from Brazen Reads - Virtual Book Club

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Marie McKinney-Oates: So, I love the nook, especially the immediate gratification when I order something. That's pretty sweet.

I am a huge marker/note taker, and it's ...MoreSo, I love the nook, especially the immediate gratification when I order something. That's pretty sweet.

I am a huge marker/note taker, and it's something I don't like about the nook. I'm sure ChaChanna is right that you can highlight and whatever, but I'm so not interested in learning. I've just been carrying a notepad along to jot down notes.

I thought it was a good read. Only thing was the nagging feeling that maybe I should quit reading and start executing instead.
103 weeks ago

Rebecca Thorman: I'd definitely want to highlight on my nook and "mark pages" to quickly reference. What I would LOVE is the ability to export my highlighted ...MoreI'd definitely want to highlight on my nook and "mark pages" to quickly reference. What I would LOVE is the ability to export my highlighted sections into a Word document that I could then quote in my blog posts and such. That would be the most useful for me.

And Marie, I totally know what you mean... I def skimmed the end of that book so I could just start doing vs reading :)
103 weeks ago

Marie McKinney-Oates I'm about to out myself as a complete reality show junkie, but has anyone heard of this Equine Experience thing? I just saw it on Guiliana and Bill and it's fascinating. People work with horses to learn how to better communicate because horses give honest/constant feedback about our communciation styles. www.prescott.edu/academics/map/documents/equine_article.pdf

108 weeks ago from Power Couples

Marie McKinney-Oates Speaking of Power Couples, here's a great interview with Michelle Obama in Good Housekeeping http://bit.ly/b1p31I

109 weeks ago from Power Couples

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Rebecca Thorman: Paul - I don't agree at all! I think there are so many power dynamics, and if you look at it from the angle you are, then I would argue that she ...MorePaul - I don't agree at all! I think there are so many power dynamics, and if you look at it from the angle you are, then I would argue that she is just the behind-the-scenes power - equally as dominant, but not the public face. This is actually really common in politics. The most powerful people aren't always the most common faces. There are a lot of people - and I would argue, specifically wives - that work behind the scenes to give their partner or colleagues a greater chance at success.
108 weeks ago

paulmacp: > I would argue that she is just the behind-the-scenes power

Reading what I have read from both sides of this "Power Couple"... I can't agree, ...More> I would argue that she is just the behind-the-scenes power

Reading what I have read from both sides of this "Power Couple"... I can't agree, but I guess we can agree to disagree.
108 weeks ago

Rebecca Thorman So, what do you all think about the the new "Like" vs "Fan" on Facebook? Are you planning on changing your language on your site and in emails ("Like us on Facebook" from "Fan us on Facebook") Facebook says they hope the action will feel much more lightweight, and that it will increase the number of connections made across the site. Will it make a difference? Will it depend on the brand?

109 weeks ago from Marketing Psychology, New Media Marketing, Social Media Marketers, Social Media and Social Pollination 3 more

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Jenn Pedde: I miss the distinction between fan and like. I also don't like that facebook will now share everything me and my friends do. I've turned the ...MoreI miss the distinction between fan and like. I also don't like that facebook will now share everything me and my friends do. I've turned the feature off. I'm all for a social web and world, but too many people make decisions and judgments and facebook WAS the only place I felt I could be my stupid whacky self, and not the professional version of myself.
109 weeks ago

Gen Y Guru: Hey Rebecca,

If facebook will be doing this all over the web, then they will know exactly the types of things you look at, and "like" great from ...MoreHey Rebecca,

If facebook will be doing this all over the web, then they will know exactly the types of things you look at, and "like" great from a business perspective, scary from a life standpoint. So, I "dislike" that they will have these new "likes" because I know I will start liking everything!
109 weeks ago

Anita Mathis Years ago my mother told me, "marriage is like a business." Today I know that business is like a marriage and it takes a lot of work to make it successful. Having the right foundation built on core values and respect is essential. I am married from a family sense but single from a business sense.

109 weeks ago from Power Couples

Kelly Whalen recommended this

Marie McKinney-Oates: I love the marriage is a business analogy. And I think business books typically give much better relationship/marriage advice than most ...MoreI love the marriage is a business analogy. And I think business books typically give much better relationship/marriage advice than most relationship/marriage books do.
109 weeks ago

Aurian Campbell: Right on, Anita. Since both business and marriage are completely dependent on the quality of communication exercised, it makes complete sense to ...MoreRight on, Anita. Since both business and marriage are completely dependent on the quality of communication exercised, it makes complete sense to draw such a parallel.

Interestingly enough, Marie, one of the speakers at a conference I just went to drew a similar parallel between leadership and parenting. She had the entire audience vote as to whether a given quote was from a leadership/management book or a parenting book. Needless to say the audience was split on every single quote! The exercise gave us a new perspective on the skills gained during mat/pat leave and how they can apply to the a return to the office.
106 weeks ago

Betsy Wallace When I first read "power couples" I thought of the 80's, career-at-all-costs ambition and the quick and dirty road to divorce. The brazen community is fantastic at "redefining" just about anything, so I'm interested to see where this conversation goes...

109 weeks ago from Power Couples

Marie McKinney-Oates recommended this

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Betsy Wallace: Well put, Kim. I think my struggles come most in the very practical things - both people are exhausted after a long day so no one wants to do the ...MoreWell put, Kim. I think my struggles come most in the very practical things - both people are exhausted after a long day so no one wants to do the laundry or make dinner. These things are helped by house cleaners, gardeners and take out. But I like to cook! In my case, I work as a program manager for a nonprofit and my husband went back to school for a vet degree after working for a few years. Ambition, yes. Money, not yet...and that makes it hard.
109 weeks ago

Betsy Wallace: I should also add that I am in an evening MBA program, have a 6 month old son and two dogs. Things can get a little much.
109 weeks ago

Marie McKinney-Oates If you're interested in food that can possibly give you a heart attack, there will be a group meeting at the KFC near the Farmer's Market at noon on April 30th to "enjoy" KFC's Double Down. Anyone and everyone is invited!

110 weeks ago from Nashville Bloggers

Marie McKinney-Oates My nomination is for "Friedman's Fables". Edwin Friedman is a freaking genius. Even if we don't read it for the book club I think everyone should get a copy. It's like therapy but tons cheaper. Or a more traditional leadership book of his is "A Failure of Nerve: Leadership in the Age of the Quick". SKind Fix"

110 weeks ago from Brazen Reads - Virtual Book Club

Meghan Skiff I'm currently reading a few of the books that have recently been mentioned in this network. Does anyone have any interest in starting some sort of virtual book club on Brazen Careerist? It could be fun...especially since many of us are reading the same things. How would that work? Thoughts?

110 weeks ago from Book Shelf

Rebecca Thorman and Ellen Nordahl recommended this

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: book club within hosting the author in the forum to foucs on his morale and his philosophy make book club more attractive for reader
110 weeks ago

: I think fiction is the best way to go. I'm glad that this is getting started!
110 weeks ago

Marie McKinney-Oates Oh,how I love Nashville peeps.Sam is obviously well-networked & Paige has a great video welcome on her NEW wordpress blog.That's progressive

153 weeks ago from Nashville Bloggers

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