We get it all the time and we give it all the time. Yet, there seems to be some confusion over what exactly a request for feedback is as well as what it isn't. Here's two things it isn't followed by one thing it is:

Isn't: "Please tell me how brilliant I am"

This is the one that is easy to fall prey to when you are the one asking someone else for the feedback. You spent a lot of time on your work product and feel pretty good about it. Still, you'd better check with a few co-workers to make sure you didn't miss anything, which probably didn't happen because you are, after all, you.

Mostly, you want to feel validated. You think you did a good job on this and you just want others to agree with you so can progress to the next stage in your project. The world is a more wonderful place because of my contributions to it, right?

Maybe it is, but the feedback process is hardly the place to go farming for accolades.

Isn't: "Please tell me what an idiot I am"

Conversely, this is the position that is easy to assume when you are the one being asked for the feedback. It doesn't do anybody any good if you correct every single grammar and punctuation mistake someone makes. This is not the opportunity to tell someone how YOU would have done something that was assigned to them. It's also not the time to take out your frustrations on someone you don't particularly like.

The feedback loop is many things, but it isn't about making others feel bad.

Is: "Please help me make this better"

Ahh, the promised land. You spent some time on some work output, but it can't possibly be perfect because none of us are. Perhaps it never will be perfect, but admitting to yourself that it could better is the first step towards getting insight from others. Any criticism you get isn't directed towards you, but your document, spreadsheet, or whatever it is you are working on. As such, don't take it personally because it's really an opportunity.

Similarly, when you are the one providing the feedback, start with the good stuff first. Put a positive spin on the reply by discussing what is right about it before you go into what could be better. Be careful in your wording choices. "you might want to" or "consider changing" are easier to hear/read for that person wanting your opinion and will increase the chances your suggestions get taken seriously.

Feedback solicitation is a frequently used process, but it is a delicate one too. Use it wisely and you not only have better output, but it can help you build positive relationships as well. That's way better than the alternative.