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Working Moms
Every mom is a working mom, and this group is for all of us out there trying to do it all!
Network Leader: Jamie Norman
54 weeks ago from Working Moms and Power Couples
Ryan Paugh
Mashable just posted an article (http://bit.ly/cNYCTD) that says 92% of U.S. toddlers have an online presence. I guess that I'm not surprised by this but I thought it was interesting. I remember a couple years ago a lot of people were really against posting pics of their kids online. Now it seems like it's the norm. I'm interested in hearing from new moms and dads out there. Do you post pics of your kids online. Do you think that's safe?
85 weeks ago from Working Moms, Social Media and Single Working Moms - Go Get 'Em1 more
Cameron Wilhelm:
We post pics online. But it's on a domain and webserver I own (never facebook or flickr) and it's password protected. I want it to be easy for ...MoreWe post pics online. But it's on a domain and webserver I own (never facebook or flickr) and it's password protected. I want it to be easy for family and friends without making it too easy for strangers and predators.
85 weeks ago
85 weeks ago
Milena Thomas
I was really inspired by the article I reference in this blog post, "Art and Family Life: Can a Creative Career Survive Marriage and Children?" As a career-minded mom-to-be and performing artist, I divide my time between competing disciplines and I wonder how I am going to make it work and if some aspects of my life detract from others...I think it's all how you frame it.
http://artandavarice.com/2010/08/18/art-and-family-life-can-a-creative-c...
92 weeks ago from Working Moms, Artists as Entrepreneurs, Economics and Finance, Creatively Inspired and Musicians3 more
Catherine Williams:
Milena, thanks for posting this. As a grad-school bound musician, it really hit home. I am not married (yet) and I do not have children (yet). But ...MoreMilena, thanks for posting this. As a grad-school bound musician, it really hit home. I am not married (yet) and I do not have children (yet). But it is nice to get that perspective that you don't always find in the music world (even on the academic side, where I am) that you can, in fact, have a family and balance your career.
91 weeks ago
91 weeks ago
Milena Thomas
I'm about to give birth in 6 days (that is, if the baby comes on time!) Can someone give me the real scoop on returning to work just 4 weeks after the baby is born? I will have a very flexible, part-time schedule and can do most of my work from home, required to be on-site just twice a week for a few hours. I have a babysitter lined up for emergencies, such as if my mom or husband needs a break, etc. Thoughts?
93 weeks ago from Working Moms
Rebecca Thorman recommended this
Paula Duarte:
Hmmm.... you know, this is just hard to explain. Your plan can be done. It's just a question of whether or not it will make sense after baby is ...MoreHmmm.... you know, this is just hard to explain. Your plan can be done. It's just a question of whether or not it will make sense after baby is born; and that won't make sense to you (or your husband) until after the baby is born. Not trying to be obtuse or anything. That's just the way it is with overachievers and external commitments and babies and being clubbed over the head with something that is surprisingly so much bigger than you. But don't worry, you're also a problem-solver: I'm sure you'll figure out what to do when the time comes. :)
93 weeks ago
93 weeks ago
Trish Cardona:
The only other thing I can add (as someone who's done the flexible work arrangement working at the office and out of home) is to try your very ...MoreThe only other thing I can add (as someone who's done the flexible work arrangement working at the office and out of home) is to try your very best to keep the dividing line between work and home.
Personally, I went back to work and made sure I was dressed up for work and not make the excuse of not looking professional because 'I just had a baby'. I needed this because I was allowed to work partly from home and I didn't want my appearance to make the impression that this was how I was working from home as well. If I looked professional in the office, then my colleagues could conclude I was looking (and being) professional at home too.
And never, ever show that the pressure is getting to you when you're at work. Just leave it for the privacy of your home. If you need to express breastmilk, do it as matter-of-factly as you can when you leave the room and do it. If it's time for you to leave, and everyone else is staying back (because work is their life), just do it with no fuss and tell them you'll see them next week (or whenever it is you're supposed to work from the office. I had to do that because I had to stop worrying about what everyone else thought of my 'special' arrangement. If they had a problem with it, they could take it up with their manager.
Granted, your workplace may be less stressful than mine but I hope my advice will make sense at some point.
Enjoy motherhood and all the best to your little bub! =)
92 weeks ago
Personally, I went back to work and made sure I was dressed up for work and not make the excuse of not looking professional because 'I just had a baby'. I needed this because I was allowed to work partly from home and I didn't want my appearance to make the impression that this was how I was working from home as well. If I looked professional in the office, then my colleagues could conclude I was looking (and being) professional at home too.
And never, ever show that the pressure is getting to you when you're at work. Just leave it for the privacy of your home. If you need to express breastmilk, do it as matter-of-factly as you can when you leave the room and do it. If it's time for you to leave, and everyone else is staying back (because work is their life), just do it with no fuss and tell them you'll see them next week (or whenever it is you're supposed to work from the office. I had to do that because I had to stop worrying about what everyone else thought of my 'special' arrangement. If they had a problem with it, they could take it up with their manager.
Granted, your workplace may be less stressful than mine but I hope my advice will make sense at some point.
Enjoy motherhood and all the best to your little bub! =)
92 weeks ago
Trish Cardona
Cory Aquino -- she was the epitome of the working mom who became the iconic mother of an oppressed country: http://www.tinyurl.com.au/evk
94 weeks ago from Working Moms
Trish Cardona
Our family recently had a big setback, and it affected me more deeply than I thought it would. As a mom, how do you cope with life after a personal storm?
http://www.trishcardona.com/2010/07/life-style-life-after-a-storm/
95 weeks ago from Working Moms
Rebecca Thorman
Are you a financial burden on your parents? WSJ recently argued that because more young adults have a "failure to launch" that parenthood is too pricey (http://bit.ly/9mlHdk) - they ask, would your decision about whether to have children, or how many to have, be different if you knew you would have to support them financially well into their twenties? Personally, I always grew up desiring to support my mother as I got older, not for her to continually support me. To each his own though :)
107 weeks ago from I am Gen Y, Working Moms, Personal Finance and GenYJourney: Tips, Insights, Experiences For Young Professionals2 more
Kenji Crosland recommended this
Ty Unglebower:
Well said, Paula. I never had a whole lot of respect for people who told their kids constantly, (starting at about their 13th birthday)..
"Once ...MoreWell said, Paula. I never had a whole lot of respect for people who told their kids constantly, (starting at about their 13th birthday)..
"Once you're 18, you're out of here. Don't expect a dime from me."
96 weeks ago
"Once ...MoreWell said, Paula. I never had a whole lot of respect for people who told their kids constantly, (starting at about their 13th birthday)..
"Once you're 18, you're out of here. Don't expect a dime from me."
96 weeks ago
Kenji Crosland:
After supporting myself for five years, I dislike being a financial burden on my parents, but I'm grateful that they allow me to stay at home and ...MoreAfter supporting myself for five years, I dislike being a financial burden on my parents, but I'm grateful that they allow me to stay at home and eat their food while I work to get my business off the ground. I suppose that one must learn to set aside one's pride and take whatever help one can get. I don't think anyone ever really "made it" without relying on help from others.
95 weeks ago
95 weeks ago
Jennifer Koren
Do you think that being successful at your career prepares you for being a successful parent?
http://wp.me/pTmBm-2c
96 weeks ago from Inspiring Leadership, Working Moms, Personal Development and Professional Development2 more
Paula Duarte:
I agree with Cameron - it's the foundation you have in your personal life that informs your work life. I'm wondering if you're being too harsh on ...MoreI agree with Cameron - it's the foundation you have in your personal life that informs your work life. I'm wondering if you're being too harsh on yourself (you? workaholic? harsh on yourself? say it ain't so!) :) You seem to have a well-adjusted work life. And your daughter seems pretty well adjusted for someone you think you've left to fend for herself. I bet she sees you in a totally different light than you see yourself. Maybe you could try to walk in her shoes a little and let that pixie dust rub off on you.
96 weeks ago
96 weeks ago
Trish Cardona:
Loved your post, mostly for the fact that it helps me (and other parents) knw that we're not alone. We all make mistakes. IT's hard to let work ...MoreLoved your post, mostly for the fact that it helps me (and other parents) knw that we're not alone. We all make mistakes. IT's hard to let work go because it is such a huge part of our identity, even before the kids came along. At the same time, we need to remember that the kids will be there (and our kids' kids) long after the career is over.
96 weeks ago
96 weeks ago
Amy Calhoun
Thought many of you would be interested in this. DC is starting to notice the need for work flexibilty for parents. http://earlyed.newamerica.net/blogposts/2010/helping_children_by_grantin...
97 weeks ago from Working Moms
Maggie McGary:
The American Speech-Language-Hearing Association is very dedicated to work/family balance--that's the #1 reason I chose to work here!
97 weeks ago
97 weeks ago
Rebecca Thorman
Interesting viewpoint from a NY Times blogger about helicopter parents - http://bit.ly/agKl5M - she states that such parents that overly dote on their children are doing so because they are unhappy. And they are unhappy because parenting is not all that is cracked up to be. Thoughts?
98 weeks ago from Helicopter Parents, Working Moms, Single Working Moms - Go Get 'Em and Work/Life Blur2 more
Saira Khan:
Parenting is probably more than its cracked up to be and there's nothing wrong with doting. I think employers should dote on their employees; we ...MoreParenting is probably more than its cracked up to be and there's nothing wrong with doting. I think employers should dote on their employees; we should all "dote" on each other. That is what we are here for, to uplift each other, not question sacrifice - sacrifice is not a bad word. It is nice and lovely to do things for others; you all should try it sometime.
98 weeks ago
98 weeks ago
Trish Cardona:
I think with parenting, as with most other things, there are "moments". Moments when you overcorrect, when you are overprotective, when you are ...MoreI think with parenting, as with most other things, there are "moments". Moments when you overcorrect, when you are overprotective, when you are so freakin' tired you hate it and vow never to be touched by hubby again (right)! But that never diminishes the immense love you will always have for your kids, and the sheer joy of this adventure called parenting.
Having said that, every parent has a subconscious way of dealing with it. Some do what their parents did, some do exactly the opposite of what their parents did. Some look at it as a job, others a calling, still others as an extension of their own lives.
For me, the most important thing is that I continue to grow as a person and as a parent. And if the 'unhappiness' lingers, I always, always try to reevaluate if I'm doing something that is wrong for me or for the kids and then make the adjustments. If it means I do as others do, or I do something totally different then so be it. The important thing is that I get to the place I'm 'happy' with parenting again -- and fast!
98 weeks ago
Having said that, every parent has a subconscious way of dealing with it. Some do what their parents did, some do exactly the opposite of what their parents did. Some look at it as a job, others a calling, still others as an extension of their own lives.
For me, the most important thing is that I continue to grow as a person and as a parent. And if the 'unhappiness' lingers, I always, always try to reevaluate if I'm doing something that is wrong for me or for the kids and then make the adjustments. If it means I do as others do, or I do something totally different then so be it. The important thing is that I get to the place I'm 'happy' with parenting again -- and fast!
98 weeks ago
Amy Calhoun
Do you think you fit your life around your work or do you fit your work around your life?
101 weeks ago from Work/Life Blur, Personal Development, The Boss-Employee Relationship, Location Independent and Working Moms3 more
Ty Unglebower:
I am slowly, (QUITE slowly) trying to convert into one that revolves work, (or the hunting of same) around my life. I think in so doing the work ...MoreI am slowly, (QUITE slowly) trying to convert into one that revolves work, (or the hunting of same) around my life. I think in so doing the work that I do will be of higher quality.
But lingering ghosts of putting work first are still nearby...
101 weeks ago
But lingering ghosts of putting work first are still nearby...
101 weeks ago
Calissa:
I work about 4 hours a day. :) And I move those hours around whenever I want to.
Since I work freelance, and there's always work to be finished, ...MoreI work about 4 hours a day. :) And I move those hours around whenever I want to.
Since I work freelance, and there's always work to be finished, I used to work 12 hours a day. However, I quickly burned out. Now I work as few hours as possible in order to make the most out of my day. It comes with some sacrafices, I don't make the money I used to, but I only need so much to be happy.
99 weeks ago
Since I work freelance, and there's always work to be finished, ...MoreI work about 4 hours a day. :) And I move those hours around whenever I want to.
Since I work freelance, and there's always work to be finished, I used to work 12 hours a day. However, I quickly burned out. Now I work as few hours as possible in order to make the most out of my day. It comes with some sacrafices, I don't make the money I used to, but I only need so much to be happy.
99 weeks ago
Amy Calhoun
When it comes to dr appts, school conferences, sick kids, etc., do you and your spouse/partner split the responsibilty or is one parent in charge of this?
Raine:
What a chauvinistic jerk! I understand if you are a stay at home mom, and that is part of your responsibilities, but in 2010 it is not ...MoreWhat a chauvinistic jerk! I understand if you are a stay at home mom, and that is part of your responsibilities, but in 2010 it is not necessarily what the "wife is for." I am fortunate that the people I work with understand, but I do not think there is any legal obligations for the employer, unless you can take sick or personal time. I hope your family can find a balance.
102 weeks ago
102 weeks ago
Trish Cardona:
I end up doing more of those kinds of things, but if push comes to shove, I could get my husband to do it. It's just that I'm the more more ...MoreI end up doing more of those kinds of things, but if push comes to shove, I could get my husband to do it. It's just that I'm the more more extroverted and social so it comes a little more naturally for me. But he pulls his weight more in the domestic department (i.e. cleaning, etc.). I think each of us need to work to our strengths and there's no such thing as an 'equal' split in marriage anyway.
102 weeks ago
102 weeks ago
Amy Calhoun
Dear Working Moms,
Are you able to accomplish the projects you want to do outside of your work and family? I have been trying to figure out how I can take on a little more and do things like start a blog, but I don't think I can fit it in w/o completely draining myself. Between work, commuting, spending time with kids and taking care of household responsiblities, is there room to fit more in?
Do I wait this period out until kids are older or take the risk and hope I don't burn out?
Amy Calhoun:
Thank you all so much for your responses. I have a 5 year old and 9 mos old. I needed other working moms to tell me to wait as this is what my ...MoreThank you all so much for your responses. I have a 5 year old and 9 mos old. I needed other working moms to tell me to wait as this is what my schedule currently looks like:
5:30 a.m. Getting ready for work...still nursing the baby
7 a.m Leave for work (start at 7:45) Husband drops kids off at sitter.
3:45 leave work and pick up the kids by 4:45 ( I use VAC time daily)
5 p.m. Playing, laundry, cooking dinner, etc
9:30 or 10 In bed so I can do it all over again
You are all right, when the baby is older, I can get back to some of my other goals. Thank you for the input.
104 weeks ago
5:30 a.m. Getting ready for work...still nursing the baby
7 a.m Leave for work (start at 7:45) Husband drops kids off at sitter.
3:45 leave work and pick up the kids by 4:45 ( I use VAC time daily)
5 p.m. Playing, laundry, cooking dinner, etc
9:30 or 10 In bed so I can do it all over again
You are all right, when the baby is older, I can get back to some of my other goals. Thank you for the input.
104 weeks ago
Maggie McGary:
I second @Jennifer on finding time to do something for yourself. I wish I were more of a morning person and could get up at 5 and enjoy ...MoreI second @Jennifer on finding time to do something for yourself. I wish I were more of a morning person and could get up at 5 and enjoy it!
@Amy--wow, that is some schedule! My hat's off to you! Time flies--my youngest just turned 14 the other day and my son will be 12 in a few months--it gets easier as they get older. Well, in some ways...in others it's harder ; )
104 weeks ago
@Amy--wow, that is some schedule! My hat's off to you! Time flies--my youngest just turned 14 the other day and my son will be 12 in a few months--it gets easier as they get older. Well, in some ways...in others it's harder ; )
104 weeks ago
Jennifer Koren
Has anyone tried personal nannies or Au Pairs for childcare? My son has severe food allergies and we had to do an Au Pair for a year and 1/2. Interested in if anyone else has tried this method of care and what your thoughts are on it.
Amy Calhoun:
I have a co-worker that used an Au Pair for many years. He and I discussed it extenseivly as I was trying to find an alternative to the child care ...MoreI have a co-worker that used an Au Pair for many years. He and I discussed it extenseivly as I was trying to find an alternative to the child care I was using at the time. For my husband and I, the cost/requirements of having an Au Pair in home was just too much. Ultimately, I found a wonderful mother in our neighborhood who takes great care of our children. I still wonder what it would have been like to have an Au Pair, but am happy with the choice we made.
105 weeks ago
105 weeks ago
Jennifer Koren:
We chose an Au Pair because we weren't quite ready to get him out there with other kids and food...etc.. His allergies were just a little too ...MoreWe chose an Au Pair because we weren't quite ready to get him out there with other kids and food...etc.. His allergies were just a little too unpredictable then we weren't always sure when he would have a reaction. It was a hard decision but both my husband and I weren't ready to give up our jobs right at that time.
The cost is actually less expensive then having 1 toddler in full time preschool and 1 kid in before and after school. We also have a built in babysitter so it cut down on that expense and also had a build it house-keeper...so that expense was gone also. When we sat down and compared everything we realized we could do it.
Our first Au Pair was fantastic and truly bonded with the children. She did all the housework for them and took care of them like they were her own. However...the ones after that...not so much. Fortunately my son was ready to enter preschool and just started this year when we decided to no longer go with Au Pairs.
For 2 VERY full time working people with more than one child, I think it's definitely an option to look into. However, looking back I realize that you can't ever be sure what the au pairs are going to be like when they get here....and that's what happened w/ our last two who were very short lived..
I'm glad we got a good Au Pair for one year when our work was the busiest and my son needed the most attention. Now my work is more flexible and he is thriving in preschool.
Would I do it again? Only if I could have my first Au Pair back!
104 weeks ago
The cost is actually less expensive then having 1 toddler in full time preschool and 1 kid in before and after school. We also have a built in babysitter so it cut down on that expense and also had a build it house-keeper...so that expense was gone also. When we sat down and compared everything we realized we could do it.
Our first Au Pair was fantastic and truly bonded with the children. She did all the housework for them and took care of them like they were her own. However...the ones after that...not so much. Fortunately my son was ready to enter preschool and just started this year when we decided to no longer go with Au Pairs.
For 2 VERY full time working people with more than one child, I think it's definitely an option to look into. However, looking back I realize that you can't ever be sure what the au pairs are going to be like when they get here....and that's what happened w/ our last two who were very short lived..
I'm glad we got a good Au Pair for one year when our work was the busiest and my son needed the most attention. Now my work is more flexible and he is thriving in preschool.
Would I do it again? Only if I could have my first Au Pair back!
104 weeks ago
Jennifer Koren
Thought the working Mom's could relate to my communication style..http://wp.me/pTmBm-1c
Rebecca Thorman
I just read in the WSJ that there's a trend for women to start having kids early again. As someone very much focused on my career, this makes my stomach turn a little, but I'm happy for the many people I know having babies right now. Do you see any signs of this trend among people you know? Are you or others having children earlier rather than holding off for more financial security?
106 weeks ago from Work/Life Blur, Working Moms and Young Professional Women (YPW)1 more
Ciara:
what I said was that according to Freakonomic's first book having kids later in life does not help them out (if you're worried about their ...Morewhat I said was that according to Freakonomic's first book having kids later in life does not help them out (if you're worried about their smarts). They are going to turn out how they turn out according to WHO YOU ARE. and there's nothing you can do about it. Nothing against waiting, but if you're waiting later in life for THEIR benefit, you're wasting your time.
106 weeks ago
106 weeks ago
Angie Roach
Ok, this has nothing to do with my career, and more about marketing and being a proud mom. Come one MadTown...can you help us? http://roachkid.blogspot.com/2010/05/good-job-parents-mag-you-got-me.html
107 weeks ago from The Madtown Crew and Working Moms
Jennifer Koren:
@Angie..don't know you but your marketing plot payed off for me. As a working Mom myself I am still smiling after reading this and know all too ...More@Angie..don't know you but your marketing plot payed off for me. As a working Mom myself I am still smiling after reading this and know all too well where you are coming from...and believe me..we've all been there. You got my vote!
106 weeks ago
106 weeks ago
Rebecca Thorman
When happy hour isn't an option when do you find time to network? When do you network when you have other responsibilities (like kids, seconds jobs, relationships, etc.)? (http://bit.ly/a5QA75) I can't do lunches because it breaks up my day too much, but I think networking once a week or every two weeks is probably enough (maybe even once a month). You don't need to do a happy hour EVERY night.
108 weeks ago from Working Moms, Single Working Moms - Go Get 'Em and Work/Life Blur1 more
Vickie Elmer:
I've set up two days a week for networking activities - Tuesdays and Thursdays. (I occasionally make exceptions for fabulous events or ...MoreI've set up two days a week for networking activities - Tuesdays and Thursdays. (I occasionally make exceptions for fabulous events or activities.) It helps to plug in your get-out-and-go activities on one or two day. On those days, I connect here and on LinkedIn; send emails to old friends and people in new jobs. I meet for breakfast or coffee (mid-afternoons preferred).
108 weeks ago
108 weeks ago
Patrick Pho:
I'm lucky that part of my job is to engage people on social networks- built in networking!
But for IRL networking I try and find organizations ...MoreI'm lucky that part of my job is to engage people on social networks- built in networking!
But for IRL networking I try and find organizations that arrange regular meetings, you are right Rebecca you don't have to network every night- trying to get out for something once or twice a month seems like a good fit.
108 weeks ago
But for IRL networking I try and find organizations ...MoreI'm lucky that part of my job is to engage people on social networks- built in networking!
But for IRL networking I try and find organizations that arrange regular meetings, you are right Rebecca you don't have to network every night- trying to get out for something once or twice a month seems like a good fit.
108 weeks ago
Raine
how does everyone get time for themselves? I dont seem to get any
Ryan Paugh
Cool group! Here's another one for working moms - http://bit.ly/3z0aKQ - Maybe you want to collaborate w/ their admin.
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