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Perfectionist Rehab
This is a place on Brazen where we can shed our perfectionistic ways - supporting and helping each other through this process. Perfectionism, be damned!
Network Leader: Robin Mills
Lexie
I am an incredibly busy person. I am in college and hold 10 leadership positions as well as take four classes. I sit on numerous committees and do mock trial as well. I recently fell down the stairs and got a concussion. I ignored it for an entire day and finally passed out. I woke up in the hospital and keep getting told "You need to rest," but I don't want to. They think I fainted from a stress or panic attack. I want to get better but cannot justify taking a break without panicking.
Lexie
My perfectionism is getting worse! I already only get about four hours of sleep a night, and now wake up atlas 8 times worrying about stuff. Last night I woke up to print out another copy of my paper, to make sure it was stapled in a perfect stack, woke up again worried about a meeting I had today, again to make sure I had sent out assignments for my part of the newspaper and a few more times.. HELP
Rebecca Thorman
I don't know that I believe perfectionism is all that bad - like anything, it can get out of control, but I look at it as just another work style. Working in a start-up, one of my key lessons to learn was to sign off on something when it was "good enough." But I'm pretty sure I wouldn't have gotten hired had I not been so meticulous and results-oriented in my past positions. My boyfriend, on the other hand, has a more big-picture approach. I think the key is just to recognize your work style.
71 weeks ago from Perfectionist Rehab, Work/Life Blur, Productivity & Time-Management, Upstarts! and Entrepreneurs3 more
JRandom42:
There's no such thing as perfectionism out of control when writing and debugging software.
36 weeks ago
36 weeks ago
Heath Port:
To your point Rebecca, it is always good to have awareness of your work style, values, etc. It will help you gravitate to the type of work that ...MoreTo your point Rebecca, it is always good to have awareness of your work style, values, etc. It will help you gravitate to the type of work that will make you feel more fulfilled. To pretty much everyone else's point we all have points in our jobs where we may have to go against our style a bit to get the work done. Like your boyfriend I am more a of big picture guy myself and tend to get demotivated if I have to spend too much time down in the weeds, but throughout my career I've had to demonstrate that I could also focus on the detail every now and again to get things done. Otherwise I would just be floating around in the "idea space" and those ideas would never get executed. There is definitely a give and take there.
36 weeks ago
36 weeks ago
Rebecca Thorman
I'm an inbox zero fan (clearing your inbox to zero every day), but found that I was also obsessively checking and responding to emails. Now, in addition to inbox zero, I've only been checking my email and Google Reader three times a day (7:30 am-9:30 am, 1-1:30 pm, 5-5:30pm) and literally closing those browser tabs when it's not one of those three times. I've found that creating this rule has dramatically increased my productivity and focus. Does anyone else do anything similar?
65 weeks ago from Perfectionist Rehab, Social Media, Work/Life Blur and Productivity & Time-Management2 more
Ryan Healy, Shun Jackson and Megan recommended this
Eboni Dunbar:
That makes a ton of sense. I definitely over check my email. Unfortunately, nobody is emailing me that often! I'll have to try and do the specific ...MoreThat makes a ton of sense. I definitely over check my email. Unfortunately, nobody is emailing me that often! I'll have to try and do the specific times thing. It will make my partner happy too :)
47 weeks ago
47 weeks ago
Timothy Johnson III:
Hi Rebecca. One thing I've done is unsubscribe from ANY email newsletter that hits my Inbox.
I've unsubscribed from email alerts from Brazen, ...MoreHi Rebecca. One thing I've done is unsubscribe from ANY email newsletter that hits my Inbox.
I've unsubscribed from email alerts from Brazen, Facebook, Twitter, so I can view those messages and interact when I'm actually using those sites.
As for Google Reader, I check it maybe ONCE or TWICE a week, at most. That way, I can catch up and read interesting posts all at one shot.
Lastly, I've disabled email notifications on my phone, so I have to open the relevant applications.
It seems to be working!
47 weeks ago
I've unsubscribed from email alerts from Brazen, ...MoreHi Rebecca. One thing I've done is unsubscribe from ANY email newsletter that hits my Inbox.
I've unsubscribed from email alerts from Brazen, Facebook, Twitter, so I can view those messages and interact when I'm actually using those sites.
As for Google Reader, I check it maybe ONCE or TWICE a week, at most. That way, I can catch up and read interesting posts all at one shot.
Lastly, I've disabled email notifications on my phone, so I have to open the relevant applications.
It seems to be working!
47 weeks ago
Lexie
I am 19 and go to a small liberal arts school outside of Chicago. I take 4 hard classes, give tours, do mocktrial and manage the public relations, am president of two clubs, am secretary and treasurer of habit for humanity, am public relations for another club, news editor of the newspaper and a couple more things.I am repeatedly told by adults and friends that I need to slow down, de stress and get some rest.I take caffeiene pills to aid my lack of sleep so I have time to do everything perfect.
Rebecca Thorman recommended this
Kylie Schleicher:
I completely understand, I just recently graduated from Gettysburg College, a small liberal arts school. I had a very stressful major and my 4 ...MoreI completely understand, I just recently graduated from Gettysburg College, a small liberal arts school. I had a very stressful major and my 4 years were filled with many late nights especially with all of my extra activities. My final year at Gettysburg slowed down, but I found myself bored and unsure what to do with my free time. I do better under stress and when I have very little time. Is that how you feel?
I would suggest to try not to use the caffeine, that can lead to huge headaches later ( i used to be a coffee addict). Try some yoga or set aside some tv time or do lunches and dinners with friends where you can relax, laugh and blow off a little steam.
50 weeks ago
I would suggest to try not to use the caffeine, that can lead to huge headaches later ( i used to be a coffee addict). Try some yoga or set aside some tv time or do lunches and dinners with friends where you can relax, laugh and blow off a little steam.
50 weeks ago
Curtis Johnson:
Keep it in balance. i have always liked the "marathon" runner's strategy. There are times to do what has to be done and there are times to be ...MoreKeep it in balance. i have always liked the "marathon" runner's strategy. There are times to do what has to be done and there are times to be reasonable. You have to set a reasonable pace for the long haul- don't become a "flash in the pan". The day will come when the sleep deprivation will catch up and then you find you can't do anything. Go hard, go fast but go smart.
50 weeks ago
50 weeks ago
Lexie
Is there a big difference between exhaustion and burnout?
Lexie
Does anyone else fear burnout?
Lexie
In addition to my ridiculous schedule me and my siblings have what we call "Perfectionist calendar" for about 10 years we have had 2 people responsible each day for doing something to make our parents proud. Do other people do it? One person does something great in school and one person is in charge of extra curriculars. Weekend and summer are 2 extra curriculars per day. It gets very tiring. Is this normal?
Raquel Elle Bell:
Sounds like you are all competing for your parents approval. Why don't you make your parents really proud and turn that motivation and systematic ...MoreSounds like you are all competing for your parents approval. Why don't you make your parents really proud and turn that motivation and systematic drudgeryoutward. Put it to use by creating a charity or an outreach. Give each sibling a job that they have to perform to progress the cause....
52 weeks ago
52 weeks ago
Diana Antholis:
You should all work on things that are important to you - not divide up tasks to make your parents proud. Your "ridiculous schedule" of events ...MoreYou should all work on things that are important to you - not divide up tasks to make your parents proud. Your "ridiculous schedule" of events should be good enough.
52 weeks ago
52 weeks ago
Lexie
In addition to my ridiculous schedule me and my siblings have what we call "Perfectionist calendar" for about 10 years we have had 2 people responsible each day for doing something to make our parents proud. Do other people do it? One people does something great in school and one person is in charge of extra curriculars. Weekend and summer are 2 extra curriculars per day. It gets very tiring. Is this normal?
Brett Kunsch
It's very frustrating when our limited energy supply gets sucked up by things we know we'd be better off avoiding, yet, we still fall victim to some common energy killers. I recently wrote up a list of 6 ways to guarantee energy depletion. What other killers tend to steal your energy on a daily basis and what helps you manage them? http://bit.ly/iKqzPR
56 weeks ago from Personal Development, Ask Penelope Trunk!, Perfectionist Rehab, Creating a Life You Love and Work/Life Blur3 more
Rebecca Thorman recommended this
Natasha Smith:
Another energy killer: Don't focus on the project you're doing because you're so worried about everything else you have to get done, and mentally ...MoreAnother energy killer: Don't focus on the project you're doing because you're so worried about everything else you have to get done, and mentally planning how long everything will take.
55 weeks ago
55 weeks ago
Brett Kunsch
A late night reflection prompted me to write "Downtime is Not a Four-letter Word (It’s Two, Actually)" http://bit.ly/fdwe0u I think we can all agree that the human body and brain can only go so long without taking a legitimate break. Yet, there tends to be a stigma against true downtime in our hyper-productive, always-connected, do-more-with-less world. Do you respect downtime as a necessity to getting things done?
58 weeks ago from Ask Penelope Trunk!, Company Culture, Productivity & Time-Management and Perfectionist Rehab2 more
Michael Levitt and Noel Rozny recommended this
Allison Cheston:
Brett, this is a great topic. I think any good manager today understands how critical it is to take a breather, and lives by example.
58 weeks ago
58 weeks ago
Brett Kunsch:
@Anastasia - I need at least 15-20 minutes per day of pure exercise. Lately I've been doing 5k runs, which really helps clear my head and get out ...More@Anastasia - I need at least 15-20 minutes per day of pure exercise. Lately I've been doing 5k runs, which really helps clear my head and get out of work mode. Reading fiction is also something I enjoy!
@Allison - Those managers are what keep employees engaged and committed, rather than jaded and exasperated. True respect for downtime is key for retention, in my opinion.
57 weeks ago
@Allison - Those managers are what keep employees engaged and committed, rather than jaded and exasperated. True respect for downtime is key for retention, in my opinion.
57 weeks ago
Brett Kunsch
Brazen Heroes: How many of you out there have sometimes felt like "the world, your circumstances, and your past are all staring you in the face, mocking you. Telling you it’s no use, might as well throw it in"? As Robert Bruce discovered, "Truth is, every person and company in this world wants you to rescue them." Have a read of his post and share your story with us. "Why Everyone Hopes You’ll Be the Hero" http://bit.ly/ihhE9s
66 weeks ago from Perfectionist Rehab, Personal Development, Entrepreneurs, Ask Penelope Trunk! and Creating a Life You Love3 more
Sadya Siddiqui recommended this
Trish Cardona:
I think Bruce had to extend the 'hero' metaphor way out there because sometimes that's the only way you can battle your demons. Otherwise, you'll ...MoreI think Bruce had to extend the 'hero' metaphor way out there because sometimes that's the only way you can battle your demons. Otherwise, you'll always just be paralyzed and not act on any of your ideas or challenge yourself to be more because you'll always have excuses like your past, and the people 'out there', and the great unknown that will hold your back.
But if you can change your thinking and just put yourself out there because 'they' are waiting for your to rescue them, that may just make you bolder and braver to go for it. And if it turns out you're not, then move on and find where you can be the 'hero'. But don't let this overwhelming fear paralyze you. His article is a great way to re-think this fear and change it into something conquerable, in fact, worthy of 'rescuing'.
66 weeks ago
But if you can change your thinking and just put yourself out there because 'they' are waiting for your to rescue them, that may just make you bolder and braver to go for it. And if it turns out you're not, then move on and find where you can be the 'hero'. But don't let this overwhelming fear paralyze you. His article is a great way to re-think this fear and change it into something conquerable, in fact, worthy of 'rescuing'.
66 weeks ago
JRandom42:
Bret, call it "checking for boobytraps" or being aware of the long sharp knives of those they get promoted over, as they ascend the ladder of ...MoreBret, call it "checking for boobytraps" or being aware of the long sharp knives of those they get promoted over, as they ascend the ladder of success.
Sabotage comes in all forms, mostly the unexpected.
66 weeks ago
Sabotage comes in all forms, mostly the unexpected.
66 weeks ago
Brett Kunsch
More so than any other generation, millennials are faced with literally millions of choices/options - some very BIG and others not so much. After reading Barry Schwartz's "The Paradox of Choice" last fall and speaking with others on the subject, I've been wondering --> Are Millennials burdened with too much choice? http://bit.ly/honPr1
67 weeks ago from Generation Y Marketers, I am Gen Y, GenYChat, GenYJourney: Tips, Insights, Experiences For Young Professionals and Perfectionist Rehab3 more
Edward Antrobus:
@Jesse, I've read and really enjoyed Shopclass for Soulcraft. It is one of the few books I've kept on my reader after finishing to refer back ...More@Jesse, I've read and really enjoyed Shopclass for Soulcraft. It is one of the few books I've kept on my reader after finishing to refer back to.
I used to spend 10 minutes or even longer trying to decide between two choices for lunch. Now, I just flip a coin. At the end of the day, choosing between a sandwich or a salad isn't going to have many any difference at all, so I don't bother expending mental energy on the choice.
67 weeks ago
I used to spend 10 minutes or even longer trying to decide between two choices for lunch. Now, I just flip a coin. At the end of the day, choosing between a sandwich or a salad isn't going to have many any difference at all, so I don't bother expending mental energy on the choice.
67 weeks ago
Cheryl Roshak:
@Jaime & Brett, to get back to your original question and discussion, coming from one who is not a millennial but was faced with choices when ...More@Jaime & Brett, to get back to your original question and discussion, coming from one who is not a millennial but was faced with choices when dinosaurs walked the earth, and am still faced with major choices today in every aspect of my life, first you might want to consider that life is all about choices, every day in every way.
When I was first starting out I had many options and directions to go in. I don't think it's the sign of the times, but time of your life where you have to consider your options and figure out which direction to go in. And trust me, it may not be the direction for the rest of your life. I've had several careers, very divergent, and very successful at all of them. You can't do everything you dream of doing at the same time. You'll never succeed that way. Eventually you'll just have to focus on something, or something will choose you and you'll find yourself at 40 wondering how did I get here? Better that you are in control of your destiny along the way, I think. Hope this helps some. Cheryl
67 weeks ago
When I was first starting out I had many options and directions to go in. I don't think it's the sign of the times, but time of your life where you have to consider your options and figure out which direction to go in. And trust me, it may not be the direction for the rest of your life. I've had several careers, very divergent, and very successful at all of them. You can't do everything you dream of doing at the same time. You'll never succeed that way. Eventually you'll just have to focus on something, or something will choose you and you'll find yourself at 40 wondering how did I get here? Better that you are in control of your destiny along the way, I think. Hope this helps some. Cheryl
67 weeks ago
Brett Kunsch
We are all working our butts off and making serious moves, but sometimes a break is what we really truly need right now. How can you put some emphasis on fun and unplugging? How can you place importance on putting the moment on hold? I explored this a bit in my post "A Lesson from the Best Headache Ever": http://bit.ly/i7vO9P
68 weeks ago from Perfectionist Rehab, Ask Penelope Trunk!, Creating a Life You Love, Entrepreneurs and Business Development3 more
Sadya Siddiqui and Megan Atkinson recommended this
Brett Kunsch:
@Alyssa - I really dig that weekly reflection strategy. That is one habit I'd really like to be consistent with. You are so right - when you clear ...More@Alyssa - I really dig that weekly reflection strategy. That is one habit I'd really like to be consistent with. You are so right - when you clear your head on Friday, your weekends are that much more blissful! Thanks for the tip :)
68 weeks ago
68 weeks ago
Jake:
Here is another way of analyzing this: Work should be our "unplugged" moments. We should be "plugged in" to our family, friends and "people" in ...MoreHere is another way of analyzing this: Work should be our "unplugged" moments. We should be "plugged in" to our family, friends and "people" in need more than work. For example, quickly choose between the following: Work/Life balance or "Life/Work" balance. That simple rearrangement of words says a lot. For me, if I feel like I'm in "Work/Life balance" analysis mode, that tells me that I'm out of balance already. If I'm not in "Life/Work" mode, then I'm missing out on enjoying all that life as to offer including the opportunity to be there for others. I know it is easier said than done with ever increasing demands of employers. But in the end, it comes down to recalibrating our compass according to our own individual desired course for this one finite life we've been blessed with...and it goes by in the blink of an eye. I like to think of each minute of life costing a million dollars. Would I rather spend that million dollar minute cramming over some assignment that nobody will remember in 6 months? Or, would I rather spend that million dollar minute in life holding up my son as he learns to ride his bike on training wheels? Don't get me wrong, if I'm paid to work 40 hours, I'll work 40 hours. But at 40:00:01, I'm outta there to go bike riding with my son to make the most of the million dollar minutes remaining in my lease on life.
67 weeks ago
67 weeks ago
Brett Kunsch
My new habit is "Just in time learning" and I'm on Day 2: http://bit.ly/i2BLAO I laid out THREE rules to form one new habit over the next 21 days: http://bit.ly/hTS62R ---> What ONE new habit are you trying to form over the next 3 weeks? What are your strategies for making it work for you? Keep rockin' people :)
69 weeks ago from Productivity & Time-Management, Professional Development, Personal Development, Perfectionist Rehab and Ask Penelope Trunk!3 more
Brett Kunsch
Being optimistic is great for your own well-being, but how do you successfully spread it to others? Neil Pasricha, blogger at 1000AwesomeThings, gave a wonderful Tedx Talk in Toronto this past Fall that left me with some powerful lessons. http://bit.ly/iazjXh
70 weeks ago from Perfectionist Rehab, Personal Development, Ask A Coach, Ask Penelope Trunk! and JobSTART 1013 more
Ryan Paugh
I'm really anal about things that don't seem to fit quite right and will spend a lot of time nitpicking over the details of projects we're working on at Brazen Careerist. Sometimes I feel bad because I know it's annoying to the more big-picture thinkers on the team, but I still think my feedback is important. How can I give my feedback without making everyone want to neck punch me?
Ryan Paugh:
Good add Megan. One thing that I definitely could be better at is explaining how the small tweaks and changes we make can positively affect the ...MoreGood add Megan. One thing that I definitely could be better at is explaining how the small tweaks and changes we make can positively affect the big picture stuff that my coworkers are more attached to.
71 weeks ago
71 weeks ago
Sara Gallagher
It's so funny that this group was created--I just wrote a blog post about my own struggles with perfectionism (a particular form of it called HMHP). http://gearsandshifts.com/2011/sara-hmhp
Jason H. Parker recommended this
Robin Mills:
I felt like that when I took the Myers Briggs test and found that I was an ENTJ. Yeah....I'm one of THEM. :)
71 weeks ago
71 weeks ago
Robin Mills created the group Perfectionist Rehab
72 weeks ago
