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Helicopter Parents
Helicopter parents pay close attention to their children... perhaps they are too close?
Discuss your love for your parents, what you think of this trend and how your parents help your career in this group.
Network Leader: Rebecca Thorman
Vincent
I saw this article in AM New York this morning and it made me chuckle just slightly. How much is too much when it comes to family and their knowing your personal business -- especially when family leaves you out of the equation and communicates directly with your friends? http://ow.ly/4xvyu
Vincent
AM New York ran two highly entertaining and highly distracting (and highly debatable) ranking of the Top 5 TV themes. What are your Top 5 Children’s Educational TV Show Theme Songs? My list is dominated by shows from the 70s (when I was a kid). Are there 90s and 2000 shows that have catchy themes? http://cranialgunk.com/blog/2011/03/19/to-am-new-york-my-top-5-tv-theme-...
61 weeks ago from Education, Music and Helicopter Parents1 more
Chanelle Schneider
Watching TV tonight? Come watch with the #GenYChat'ers! At 9pm ET we will be discussing trends in television and the impact social media has on promotion and marketing
63 weeks ago from GenYChat, GenYJourney: Tips, Insights, Experiences For Young Professionals, GenY/Boomer Boom Boom Room and Helicopter Parents2 more
Tracy Brisson recommended this
Vincent
I've worked hard to instill the notion of "possibility" and the power of imagination in my children. Where my parents told me I needed to "be real," I tell my children to dream. Imagine my surprise when my kids are the ones telling each other to "get real." This holiday, Yes Virginia has new meaning for me. http://ricedaddies.blogspot.com/2010/12/santa-cause-imagination.html
Vincent
I've worked hard to instill the notion of "possibility" and the power of imagination in my children. Where my parents told me I needed to "be real," I tell my children to dream. Imagine my surprise when my kids are the ones telling each other to "get real." This holiday, Yes Virginia has new meaning for me. http://ricedaddies.blogspot.com/2010/12/santa-cause-imagination.html
Vincent
Writing about the 30th anniversary of John Lennon I came across a piece in Bloomberg that really irked me because it seemed to belittle John for choosing fatherhood over the music industry. What do you think? http://ricedaddies.blogspot.com/2010/12/fatherhood-imagine-30-years-on-t...
Chanelle Schneider
So what should we talk about next week in #genychat? We've discussed politics, networking, activism, social media, getting a job. Anything on your mind?
81 weeks ago from GenYChat, I am Gen Y, Brazen Careerist's Top 50 Gen-Y Companies and Helicopter Parents2 more
Ryan Paugh:
Gen-Y's favorite brands. Ask the questions: What are Generation Y's favorite brands? What attracts Generation Y to a specific brand? What brands ...MoreGen-Y's favorite brands. Ask the questions: What are Generation Y's favorite brands? What attracts Generation Y to a specific brand? What brands does Generation Y dislike?
81 weeks ago
81 weeks ago
Chanelle Schneider:
@Ryan A discussion on branding....hmmm...I like it.
@Jesse I'll take a look at it
81 weeks ago
81 weeks ago
JenG
Penelope's blog post about how kids impact your happiness really resonated with me (love being a parent, but don't love hours on hours of kid play). Then I saw an awesome National Geographic video of a chimp and her offspring checking out a hidden camera with very different behavior--it reminded me a lot of modern day families. Thus was born the post: Is Your Family Killing Your Curiosity? http://bit.ly/92C4sc
Any thoughts on a solution? Can you have your kids and your curiosity too?
90 weeks ago from Ask Penelope Trunk!, Helicopter Parents, Power Couples, Personal Development and Creating a Life You Love3 more
Rebecca Thorman:
Wow, what a cute video. I read the NYMag article a few weeks ago as well and thought it was a great divergent view on parenthood. I'm sure it does ...MoreWow, what a cute video. I read the NYMag article a few weeks ago as well and thought it was a great divergent view on parenthood. I'm sure it does kill curiosity of a certain sort because your primary reason for being is no longer discovery, but protection. But with protection, you have to be curious enough (note the moms who are dilligent in researching the best products for their children). So it's just a shift. I think the key here is that your skills will remain the same, but the topic will be very different. But I'm not a parent, so who knows ;)
90 weeks ago
90 weeks ago
Hannah Kane
My parents moved my sister into college this weekend, which has me thinking about helicopter parents who do everything from negotiate room space with roommates to signing their kids up for classes. When I went to college, my parents spent an hour helping me set up and headed home, and that was all that I needed and wanted.
Were your parents overly involved when you started college? Did you ever take control? Or, did you appreciate their involvement?
Catherine Williams:
When I started undergrad, my parents weren't invited to orientation and were only allowed to park outside the dorm for fifteen minutes. So they ...MoreWhen I started undergrad, my parents weren't invited to orientation and were only allowed to park outside the dorm for fifteen minutes. So they left pretty quickly. However, by the time I was a senior, nearly every kid who attended orientation during the summer had their parents with them. Amazing how things can change over the course of only four years. I'll never understand what the point is of hovering over your kids who are trying to make the (rather slow) transition into adulthood. I'm happy that my parents are helpful when I ask but otherwise out of my business.
90 weeks ago
90 weeks ago
Sean Masters:
I packed my belongings, drove to school, and moved myself in. My mother did give me a hug before I left, but that's really all that needed to be ...MoreI packed my belongings, drove to school, and moved myself in. My mother did give me a hug before I left, but that's really all that needed to be done.
I also spent an awful lot of time helping other students move in, and much of that time was spent divorcing them from their parents so they could get the move in process accomplished instead of dealing with questions and such from their parents the entire time.
90 weeks ago
I also spent an awful lot of time helping other students move in, and much of that time was spent divorcing them from their parents so they could get the move in process accomplished instead of dealing with questions and such from their parents the entire time.
90 weeks ago
Dr. Woody
Does passion matter??? I was on a TweetChat last night hosetd by Corn-on-the-Job and there were some interesting perspectives. What does passion mean to you and does it matter anymore?
94 weeks ago from The Career Hot Seat!, Ask A Coach, Entry-Level Young Professionals, Helicopter Parents and I am Gen Y3 more
Ryan Healy recommended this
Mandy Boyle:
I think passion is definitely important because it keeps you from burning out. Being hard working is great, but it's easy to become emotionally, ...MoreI think passion is definitely important because it keeps you from burning out. Being hard working is great, but it's easy to become emotionally, physically, and mentally spent unless you experience a drive to do something.
92 weeks ago
92 weeks ago
Dr. Woody:
Kseniya, that's an interesting point. It may or may not look the same to an employer, but it will certainly not feel the same to you! To ...MoreKseniya, that's an interesting point. It may or may not look the same to an employer, but it will certainly not feel the same to you! To piggy-back Mandy's comment, the mental and physical drain can be tremendous!
91 weeks ago
91 weeks ago
JenG
I wrote this post from the perspective of a parent, but I think the "hypocrite's guide" can also apply to employee development. You know how it goes: you start with good intentions, giving advice on how to do something except...you don't follow it yourself. It can be awkward. So I talk about what I learned about this kind of situation with my daughter in my post "The Hypocrite's Guide to Parenting." Being the leader is never easy! http://bit.ly/9MznJ5
91 weeks ago from Company Culture, Helicopter Parents, Inspiring Leadership and Personal Development2 more
Ty Unglebower
Last night, 650 voters in the city in which I live (pop. 8,000 or so) elected a 21 year old college student that still lives with his mother to the city council. Many who have written about him say he is very "nice and well spoken" and that he does volunteer work. Others say he can't possibly have enough life experience for this job. But what do you think? In general, can any 21 year college student really have enough life knowledge to be good on a city council?
94 weeks ago from Washington D.C., Baltimore Brazen, Creating a Life You Love, Entry-Level Young Professionals and Helicopter Parents3 more
Ryan Paugh and Jamie Nacht Farrell recommended this
Nechiele Whittington:
Hey Ty. I certainly think that he could offer a whole new/fresh perspective to the city council. He's not tied into the general mode of thinking ...MoreHey Ty. I certainly think that he could offer a whole new/fresh perspective to the city council. He's not tied into the general mode of thinking that's prevailed there until now. He's got the added bonus of being an 'empty vessel' so to speak; the new concepts, theories and ideas he's studied, he can see innovative ways to implement them. Besides, the age shouldn't be the only thing he's judged on. Some young people I know have more life experience than people twice their age. If he's impressive enough for people to actively vote him into public office, he must have something to offer that the voters feel they need.
94 weeks ago
94 weeks ago
Jamie Nacht Farrell:
I think it would depend on the person and his experiences. That said, I think it's great that you have the view of a 21 yr old on your city ...MoreI think it would depend on the person and his experiences. That said, I think it's great that you have the view of a 21 yr old on your city counsel. One of my "boys" from home was elected at 25 and is now mayor at 29.
94 weeks ago
94 weeks ago
wendy aron
I don't have kids so I tell my cats to learn a technical skill that even dogs can't take away from them.
If or when you have kids, what will be the ONE most important piece of career advice you will give them and how did you come to this conclusion?
94 weeks ago from What I Wish I Knew Then, Professional Writers and Editors, Helicopter Parents, Work-Family Balance and Work/Life Blur3 more
Iris Van Kerckhove:
Agree with Jamie. Do what you love! Anyone's who's tried to do what they don't love thinking t it's what they should do knows how much more effort ...MoreAgree with Jamie. Do what you love! Anyone's who's tried to do what they don't love thinking t it's what they should do knows how much more effort this takes, and how much less joy you get out of it.
94 weeks ago
94 weeks ago
Emily Jasper
Am I a Helicopter Child? I'm staying with my parents for a visit, and they went out to dinner last night. It was very stormy, so I waited up for them to get home. My mom didn't take her phone, and I didn't want to text my dad if he was driving. I was so worried, I was following local traffic reports to see if they had an accident. They waltzed in, not even thinking I would have been worked up over not hearing from them when they left the restaurant. Usual concern or too protective?
Natalie_Akers recommended this
Emily Jasper:
I think it's funny because I can recall when they got mad if I didn't phone when I landed coming back from a business trip. Now, if they go on ...MoreI think it's funny because I can recall when they got mad if I didn't phone when I landed coming back from a business trip. Now, if they go on vacation to some far away place, I have to beg them just to send the flight info so I know what days they're coming and going. Perhaps they're not used to needing to report in to people anymore. On the other side, my brothers and I chat every few weeks, but we don't feel the need to follow up with each other the same way as with our parents.
And PS Rebecca, that's hysterical!
97 weeks ago
And PS Rebecca, that's hysterical!
97 weeks ago
Hannah Kane:
I was just thinking the same thing-- If I don't hear from my parents for a few days I'll call to check in. I feel like this is a natural evolution ...MoreI was just thinking the same thing-- If I don't hear from my parents for a few days I'll call to check in. I feel like this is a natural evolution in our relationship, though. As I get older, they feel more comfortable opening up and sharing difficulties that they experience in their daily lives. As a result, I'm more aware of things they're going through and have more reason to worry. Plus, I'm just modeling the same behavior they've always had towards me. It's sort of funny while it's new, but I think it's totally natural!
95 weeks ago
95 weeks ago
Sean Cook
If any of you would like to take a stab at the topic of helicopter parenting, and how to approach involved parenting in healthy, developmentally appropriate ways (targeted toward college students and their parents), let me know. I'm always looking for good guest posters. Reply here or to sean@higheredcareercoach.com
Sean Cook
I've been away from Brazen for a while, but was glad to see this group. I worked for 15 years in higher ed, and helicopter parents are one of the reasons I got out. One of my sites, HigherEdLifeCoach.Com, covers life & transition issues for college students and for their parents. I'm working on a model for coaching parents to come down from the helicopter and move to the perimeter to HELP, rather than "fix", problems for their kids. Core concepts Help Encourage, Love and Prepare (HELP) not hover
JenG
Like Ty, I was inspired to write my latest blog post because of the discussions in this forum. Thanks for the inspiration. I'd welcome your thoughts! How to Avoid the Helicopter Parent Trap: http://bit.ly/cGXOWd
Sadya Siddiqui and Rebecca Thorman recommended this
Ty Unglebower
With thanks to Lindsey Donner for inviting me to write it, I am proud to announce that a piece I wrote for igrad.com is now live. In it I speak of how, on many college campuses, students are shielded from, instead of being encouraged to grow up and enter adulthood. I argue that maturity can still be reached while on campus, but the nature of college life works against that goal. (As opposed to being a part of it, as many claim it is.) Read it here. http://bit.ly/d3no7e
97 weeks ago from Professional Writers and Editors, Baltimore Brazen, Nonprofiteers, Helicopter Parents and FunEmployment3 more
Kristen Jeffers, Sadya Siddiqui and Barbara Hall recommended this
Natalie_Akers:
The nature of college does work against that goal! It makes the "real world" a much bigger kick when you get out!
97 weeks ago
97 weeks ago
Ty Unglebower:
Exactly, Natalie! And while I don't expect any college to spoon feed everything to everyone, I sincerely feel there are rather obvious and simple ...MoreExactly, Natalie! And while I don't expect any college to spoon feed everything to everyone, I sincerely feel there are rather obvious and simple changes that could and should take place in the way students live on campus that would help make that kick far less painful.
97 weeks ago
97 weeks ago
Rebecca Thorman
Interesting viewpoint from a NY Times blogger about helicopter parents - http://bit.ly/agKl5M - she states that such parents that overly dote on their children are doing so because they are unhappy. And they are unhappy because parenting is not all that is cracked up to be. Thoughts?
97 weeks ago from Helicopter Parents, Working Moms, Single Working Moms - Go Get 'Em and Work/Life Blur2 more
Saira Khan:
Parenting is probably more than its cracked up to be and there's nothing wrong with doting. I think employers should dote on their employees; we ...MoreParenting is probably more than its cracked up to be and there's nothing wrong with doting. I think employers should dote on their employees; we should all "dote" on each other. That is what we are here for, to uplift each other, not question sacrifice - sacrifice is not a bad word. It is nice and lovely to do things for others; you all should try it sometime.
97 weeks ago
97 weeks ago
Trish Cardona:
I think with parenting, as with most other things, there are "moments". Moments when you overcorrect, when you are overprotective, when you are ...MoreI think with parenting, as with most other things, there are "moments". Moments when you overcorrect, when you are overprotective, when you are so freakin' tired you hate it and vow never to be touched by hubby again (right)! But that never diminishes the immense love you will always have for your kids, and the sheer joy of this adventure called parenting.
Having said that, every parent has a subconscious way of dealing with it. Some do what their parents did, some do exactly the opposite of what their parents did. Some look at it as a job, others a calling, still others as an extension of their own lives.
For me, the most important thing is that I continue to grow as a person and as a parent. And if the 'unhappiness' lingers, I always, always try to reevaluate if I'm doing something that is wrong for me or for the kids and then make the adjustments. If it means I do as others do, or I do something totally different then so be it. The important thing is that I get to the place I'm 'happy' with parenting again -- and fast!
97 weeks ago
Having said that, every parent has a subconscious way of dealing with it. Some do what their parents did, some do exactly the opposite of what their parents did. Some look at it as a job, others a calling, still others as an extension of their own lives.
For me, the most important thing is that I continue to grow as a person and as a parent. And if the 'unhappiness' lingers, I always, always try to reevaluate if I'm doing something that is wrong for me or for the kids and then make the adjustments. If it means I do as others do, or I do something totally different then so be it. The important thing is that I get to the place I'm 'happy' with parenting again -- and fast!
97 weeks ago
Hannah Kane
I've been thinking a lot about mentors lately. I've never really had a mentor, and have been wondering how people develop that kind of a relationship. But today I was hit with a big dilemma, and as my mind is racing with this problem I could only think how much I wanted to get my dad's advice. And I realize that I do have a mentor-- my dad!
Does anyone else have a parent who is also their mentor?
Doug Mitchell:
Yes and I think it's why I am where I am today, giving back to others. Both my parents are heroes to me. My Dad and Mom were raised in public ...MoreYes and I think it's why I am where I am today, giving back to others. Both my parents are heroes to me. My Dad and Mom were raised in public housing but used public education to rise to the Associate Dean of a University and my Mom was an elected commissioner where they lived for four terms. I mentor a lot of people but my Dad is my mentor and keeps my head on straight. Even after all these years, he still sees things that I don't. I'm still waiting for him to "wrong" about something lol!
98 weeks ago
98 weeks ago
Rebecca Thorman:
My mom is definitely a mentor/best friend. I always go to her for advice and trust her thoughts. She's really good at helping me figure out what's ...MoreMy mom is definitely a mentor/best friend. I always go to her for advice and trust her thoughts. She's really good at helping me figure out what's best for me and is such a strong person.
97 weeks ago
97 weeks ago
Ryan Paugh
So my Mom just called to tell me that she's mentoring someone on Brazen Careerist now. I think that's pretty awesome. I've always thought that Brazen was a great place to bridge the Generation Gap. So I'm wondering if more parents of Gen-Y professionals might start popping up here and mentoring the younger members of the community. What do you think? Would your parents consider joining Brazen? Would they like it? Would they understand how to use it?
98 weeks ago from Helicopter Parents, Mentors & Mentees and Work-Family Balance1 more
Chris Paugh recommended this
Kristen Jeffers:
I'd like to see that too. I can't get my mom to get on any social media, but some of her siblings have, but mostly to monitor my younger cousin's ...MoreI'd like to see that too. I can't get my mom to get on any social media, but some of her siblings have, but mostly to monitor my younger cousin's activities
98 weeks ago
98 weeks ago
Suzanne Swint:
i have been a member of BC since its launch & i am the mom of two gen-y daughters, neither of them use it or even know what is it.
i love the ...Morei have been a member of BC since its launch & i am the mom of two gen-y daughters, neither of them use it or even know what is it.
i love the concept & think that it can be a great platform for non-traditional types like myself...i don't fully participate because i am busy & a lot of stuff does not interest me.
i did, however catch the webinar with seth godin and i was quite impressed how impatient y'all were with the tech difficulties..i also rushed home (skipped the wine shop) to get here in time, but
you guys were brutal in the chatroom..
i am also signed up to hear guy kawasaki..
98 weeks ago
i love the ...Morei have been a member of BC since its launch & i am the mom of two gen-y daughters, neither of them use it or even know what is it.
i love the concept & think that it can be a great platform for non-traditional types like myself...i don't fully participate because i am busy & a lot of stuff does not interest me.
i did, however catch the webinar with seth godin and i was quite impressed how impatient y'all were with the tech difficulties..i also rushed home (skipped the wine shop) to get here in time, but
you guys were brutal in the chatroom..
i am also signed up to hear guy kawasaki..
98 weeks ago
Shirin Pillay
While my parents do take an interest in what I do and what curved path I'm taking in my career (I admit, its more an adventure than a paved path for me), I don't consider them to be "helicoptering". They give advice when I ask, and only then. While parents may want to help, its also up to us to also give say in when we need space and, conversely, when we want help.
Ryan Paugh
Lately I've been seeing myself turn into my dad. It's funny because you never see that sort of thing coming ... I realized that I wasn't alone when Jake wrote about how he got his entrepreneurial spirit from his dad (http://bit.ly/crI5rw). So other people must be experiencing the same thing. How about you? Have you noticed yourself acting more like your parents? Is that a good or bad thing?
99 weeks ago from Helicopter Parents and Work-Family Balance
Jake Poinier:
Ryan, thanks for the h/t! It was interesting to see the strong reactions my post provoked, from people with similar experiences to those who ...MoreRyan, thanks for the h/t! It was interesting to see the strong reactions my post provoked, from people with similar experiences to those who vociferously denied that heredity could possibly have anything to do with what you end up doing for a living.
As I get older, I definitely understand why my parents were generally strict, and my wife and I are following a similar model. I am comfortable being a parent now, with the knowledge that friendship can come later. In particular, I think a lot of Baby Boomer parents want to try to be buddies way too soon.
98 weeks ago
As I get older, I definitely understand why my parents were generally strict, and my wife and I are following a similar model. I am comfortable being a parent now, with the knowledge that friendship can come later. In particular, I think a lot of Baby Boomer parents want to try to be buddies way too soon.
98 weeks ago
Raquel Elle Bell:
@Jake ~ You are right on there... I think that it's important to be a guide first friendship can come later when you actually have more in common ...More@Jake ~ You are right on there... I think that it's important to be a guide first friendship can come later when you actually have more in common with your children. When they actually have life experience and can appreciate the sacrifice and struggle.
98 weeks ago
98 weeks ago
Amy Ng
What a great idea for a network! I have a genuine interest in understanding more about the helicopter parenting style and its effects on the "children", their careers, decision-making abilities, etc. I started my own discussion a few weeks ago, and got some really interesting comments from both sides: http://bit.ly/buQe41
Dr. Woody
Rebecca, great idea for a network! The "helicopter parents" phenomenon has been something that college career center professionsals and corporate recruiters have been struggling with for several years. When talking to these folks the concern that consistently comes up is respect for boundaries. When parents start getting involved in the interview process or calling bosses to lobby for their kids promotions it seds very negative signals to employers!!!
