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Emily Jasper We talked about intimidation today, and how often senior leaders might try to intimidate employees when they are trying to avoid certain situations (like being accountable to mistakes). We then heard about peers (or other subordinates) intimidating up, essentially with threats, like "You have to go out to your car at some point, I'll be looking for you." What role should intimidation play up and down the ladder? When does it go from trying to garner respect to bullying?

75 weeks ago from The Boss-Employee Relationship

Rebecca Thorman: Intimidation seems like a negative to me all around. Being accountable to mistakes does not require intimidation. While we are all human and ...MoreIntimidation seems like a negative to me all around. Being accountable to mistakes does not require intimidation. While we are all human and intimidation, gossip, etc. are necessary and unavoidable parts of the workplace, I don't think we should intentionally cultivate these traits.
75 weeks ago
Sean Masters: Threats are generally idiotic, particularly in the workplace where there's this little thing called an "unsafe" or "hostile" work environment and ...MoreThreats are generally idiotic, particularly in the workplace where there's this little thing called an "unsafe" or "hostile" work environment and people called "lawyers". :)
75 weeks ago
Kate Davids: Yes, I agree with Rebecca and Sean. Threats, intimidation and other forms of throwing your weight around are pointless. I don't think that they ...MoreYes, I agree with Rebecca and Sean. Threats, intimidation and other forms of throwing your weight around are pointless. I don't think that they fit into a respectful and productive work environment. While reminding employees of their accountability in certain situations can be necessary, it isn't intimidation.

If by "intimidation" you mean "not letting things slide by reminding folk of the consequences of not living up to obligations," then employees do this to bosses all them time when they remind the boss that they need that report to do their job. It's implied that if the employee doesn't get the report, then the job not getting done is the boss' fault.
75 weeks ago
Paige Holden: This is a good question. Putting aside threats of physical harm (because that's just ludicrous and should be pursued aggressively through the ...MoreThis is a good question. Putting aside threats of physical harm (because that's just ludicrous and should be pursued aggressively through the appropriate channels), I think intimidation happens every day.

While I agree with Kate that reminding an employee to do a task or adhere to protocol is often necessary, I will say that many times it's not the reminder, it's the way it's framed. THAT is what makes all the difference. I had a supervisor once who was terribly intimidating to everyone around her because she would take an innocent mistake (typo in an email, for example) and turn it into a catastrophic event by saying things like:"this doesn't look good in a review," or "the other supervisors and I, including ones that don't work with you, were discussing your performance," or "you won't ever get promoted if you can't figure this out," or the worst, "you realize that the client thinks we are a bunch of idiots because of you." ETC. ETC.

At the same time, I've seen employees "bully up" by demanding more money, perks, etc. or else they would quit. I also think some disgruntled employees intimidate by threatening to poison the well with other employees and, worse, clients.

If only everyone just remembered the golden rule, to treat others as they would like to be treated....sigh.
75 weeks ago
Emily Jasper: Thanks everyone for your comments. I know that intimidation often seems like over-compensation when the person doesn't have a more effective way ...MoreThanks everyone for your comments. I know that intimidation often seems like over-compensation when the person doesn't have a more effective way to influence those around them. Ideally, influence doesn't need to include intimidation or scare tactics. I know I've been told the people who posses savvy and finesse are the ones who people want to follow.
75 weeks ago
: I think people use intimidation when they are threatened by their own ability (as a manager) to handle a situation. This is closely related to ...MoreI think people use intimidation when they are threatened by their own ability (as a manager) to handle a situation. This is closely related to Paige's comment about managers who turn every mistake into a catastrophe. It shows insecurity to act out and lash out when you are the one in charge. I find it intolerable, but I can understand where it comes from.
75 weeks ago
Sean Masters: @Elizabeth I agree here. Interesting to note that people in positions of power often dislike new ideas because they shift power from them to ...More@Elizabeth I agree here. Interesting to note that people in positions of power often dislike new ideas because they shift power from them to someone "under" them.

Adding that concept to this one, the proposal of new ideas not only brings resentment from the person in power but could also cause them to rain down threats and intimidating remarks. Or they could just relieve you of your job. All because you wanted to bring improvements to the organization!
75 weeks ago
Paige Holden: @Sean So true. I was called into a meeting once to provide some social media input on a project. I wasn't working on it at the time, but social ...More@Sean So true. I was called into a meeting once to provide some social media input on a project. I wasn't working on it at the time, but social media was kind of new, resources were limited and the current project manager was not yet involved in any social media accounts. Clearly, she was insecure. Any idea I came up with was rudely shut down - to the point where I couldn't even finish my sentence! It was almost comical.

At first I was pretty upset, but word about the situation got around the office so quickly I actually felt bad for her - intimidating me actually embarrassed her more than anything else. I just went back to my accounts and called it another day in the life of a PR firm.
75 weeks ago
Lindsey Sparks: I think Elizabeth hit it on the head - managers who use intimidation are often insecure in their own abilities and rely on their position as a ...MoreI think Elizabeth hit it on the head - managers who use intimidation are often insecure in their own abilities and rely on their position as a source of power. They don't know how to address problems in a diplomatic way, so they resort to threats or yelling. I had a boss who swung widely from telling me one day I was about to be promoted to berating me the next for a "typo" in an e-mail (which was usually not actually a typo, but a matter of opinion, like using the word "large" instead of "big"). Since she fired several people who stood up to her immediately after she was hired, everyone was afraid to stand up to her and she knew it.
Employees have to be careful about this too. I had an employee once who kept threatening to leave, and finally we "encouraged him to leave" and he got upset.
75 weeks ago
Emily Jasper: @Paige, I really like your story. I was in a situation where a senior person used intimidation and as you said, it made him look like a fool. ...More@Paige, I really like your story. I was in a situation where a senior person used intimidation and as you said, it made him look like a fool. Unfortunately, it didn't clear up the situation any more, just made both of us feel bad.
75 weeks ago

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