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Despite the title, this post isn’t just for the ladies.
Everyone can get a little emotional at times. Be it from a bad day or from a disparaging remark from a co-worker or boss. No matter the reason, it is always better to walk away from your cubicle, away from the stares of co-workers to have a moment, shed some tears and recollect yourself.
Crying or being overly emotional can be seen as a sign of weakness as an inability to handle the stress of the position. Not the message you want your boss to get, particularly before a review or during your next salary discussion.
This 2005 article from the New York Times, discusses crying at work bluntly. Unable to find an article referencing the rampant crying of the secretarial staff in the bathroom of Sterling Cooper, this commentary on AMC blogs will have to suffice.
How do you feel about openly crying or being overly emotional at work?
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Comments
08.31.10
I think you are right about crying at your desk; I would also say don't cry at work EVER (not in the restroom either the stalls have ears).
GO outside to your car or take a break and take a walk to a coffee shop. If anyone knows that they have made you cry and you show any kind of weakness at any time at the office it will come back to haunt you for the rest of your career at that company.
I used to take jogs around the building just to get some air and re-coup. I told everyone it was for my health but really it was to get away from unpleasent situations.
08.31.10
Laura,
I agree. Sometimes just a change of scenery can make all the difference and offer a perspective that you wouldn't have seen in the office.
As for the stalls having ears, I completely agree. I used to have a cubicle right across from the bathroom and it was amazing what you could hear just from the way the vents worked!
Everyone should find a healthy (like your jogs) way to deal with work stress and I think you offer some valuable insight.
Thanks for commenting!
Aurora
08.31.10
I subscribe to Kelly Cutrone's belief of "If You Have to Cry Go Outside." It's an amazing book and even if you aren't a fan of her fashion PR it's a good read.
That being said, I probably need to reread it as the last time I cried at work was last week in front of my boss at a one on one meeting when she brought up a complaint from a recent conference attendee. Working in Social Work makes it a little bit more bearable, but still. It was embarrassing and I did excuse myself when I got to the ugly cry.
I agree with Laura, I think finding an outlet, like exercise, blogging, reading, talking to someone outside of the workplace, etc. is also very helpful in clearning your head from an emotional stressful situation. And, a lot of times, we need to do that everyday to avoid having an ugly cry at our supervisor's desk!
--Ashley
08.31.10
Aurora,
I think a few tears are bound to be released during office hours, no matter how tough we are. However, even if our woes have nothing to do with work (i.e. a loss in the family), it is a matter of privacy and consideration. If you’re going through that tough of a time, do you really want that attention? Also, as cold as this seems, crying makes those around you uncomfortable - even after the sobs have ceased.
There are more reasons to get out of the office than to stay. Take some of Laura’s tips to get out. Going to the car allows you to blast some tunes which can shake off any frustrations! Many times a change in scenery alone can do the trick.
Bottom line is that we are adults, and hopefully mature ones at that. Whether it’s screaming, laughing too boisterously or crying, maturity and consideration of those around us should dictate that this type of behavior is inappropriate. It also contributes to others’ perception of us. What do you want that perception to be?
Keep up the great posts and thought-provoking topics, Aurora! :)
08.31.10
If you find your voice cracking because you are on the verge of tears, do what I do. Lower your voice to as close to a growl as possible. It helps to disguise how upset you are, and prevents a descent into tears from embarrassment.
08.31.10
Ashley,
Thank you for being a social worker. I have several friends in the field and I know from their experiences just how stressful and demanding the job can be.
I think in your situation, you handled it beautifully. I think continuing to focus on the outlets you have available to you will be beneficial and absolutely keep you from crying at your supervisor's desk.
Aurora
08.31.10
Rachel,
I couldn't have said it better myself. Thank you for sharing your insight!
Aurora
p.s. I think you might appreciate today's post over at Dispatches from the Castle http://bit.ly/bl8cD6. I'm eager to hear what you think!
08.31.10
Scott,
What a useful tip! I will try it the next time I find myself tearing up (in a non-work situation, I hope!) and let you know how it goes.
Thank you!
Aurora
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