My life has been an experiment in half-assing

My freshman year of college I was getting to know this guy (the story of “this guy” and his 3-year reign of terror on my life could be a full-length novel, and who knows maybe someday it will be) and I introduced him to PostSecret. He asked me what I would send in if I ever sent in a secret. I barely had to think about it. “I don’t think I’ve ever put a 100% effort into anything.” He had expected me to share something more frivolous like how I refuse to sit on public toilets (I’m a squatter), but then admitted that he had actually been thinking the same thing. The conversation led to all of the things we’d dabbled in and tried out but never actually put our full effort into, and it was then that I realized I am in fact a chronic half-asser.

I’ve been kicking a soccer ball since I could walk. I played for my school my first 2 years in college. I was good at soccer. And I loved soccer. But something always held me back – it was like the stars couldn’t ever align just right and I found myself not caring enough to devote myself to it.

This is me.

Then there was the piano. I took lessons, I loved stringing notes together and the day my fingers could finally stretch 9 keys I felt like a million bucks. But I didn’t focus enough time and energy on practicing to get really good; I’d practice enough to play the songs to my tutor’s expectations.

School was always an easy thing for me to half-ass. I could get by with little to no effort. For 15 ½ years of school, my classes just reinforced my ability to half-ass. Taking a 400-level Psych class my freshman year didn’t even scare me. It was easy. The expectations weren’t that high and my professors didn’t inspire passion – it seemed like they just wanted to get through the syllabus. And as much as I loved advertising and ate up the information, I put in only the effort required on assignments. They weren’t interesting. It almost became a game to see just how little effort I could put in and still do well. I was taking advantage of my own abilities and taking them for granted.

Then I took a creative strategy class, because I knew the professor was tough from another class I’d taken and he talked me into it.

HOLY SHIT. It was a once a week night class with a creative project due every week. They started off kind of abstract (read: we were all like, WTF does this have to do with advertising you lunatic?) and then became more focused on advertising concepts and strategy. It was by far the most worthwhile 3 hours a week of my life. He made me try. I wanted to try. It was like the perfect storm or something. He set the bar at a seemingly unachievable level of creative thought and if you reached it for one project, he set the bar higher for you for the next. He wanted more than those 1st level ideas that you can come up with in ten minutes. It was a constant challenge and he made it impossible to half-ass and feel remotely good about yourself by the end of that week’s class. He ripped people a new one, and it was beautiful. And it was hard at first but eventually I thrived. It’s the only grade I’ve ever gotten that I’m proud of.

And it made me realize that maybe my half-assing problem isn’t because I haven’t found things I’m passionate about. I haven’t been pushed, by myself or others. Even if it’s something I’m passionated about, I need tasks that challenge me and inspire me, or I get bored and start to lose my passion and it probably has a lot to do with my self-diagnosed Life ADD. I think sometimes we all just need someone to fight for us and say, c’mon, you’re better than that and I’m going to force you to be better. Yeah, the bar needs to be realistic, but it needs to be ambitious too.

Do you find yourself half-assing any areas of your life? How have you overcome it? How do you stay passionate and inspired?