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Tired of attending networking events? Even for extroverted people networking can be exhausting. The good news is that you're not alone in being jaded by all of the name tags, awkward conversations and 15-second pitches ...
Normally, I'm pretty social, but I want to a networking event last week and I just wasn't feeling it. What do you do when you want to break out of your shell? What conversation starters help you break the ice and make meaningful connections? -Danielle Bullen
1. Get people talking about themselves
Brian Alkerton: A trick that works well for me is to pick the most attractive girl in the room and approach her to ask what made her decide to come to the event. It gives you motivation to act and gives her incentive to talk about herself/her interests, which will hopefully give you an opportunity to extend the discussion.
You might prefer to go for the most attractive guy, or someone you admire and want to pick the brain of, but figure out who you most want to talk to, and get them talking about themselves.
2. Wear something unique
Adriana Llames: White linen pants paired w/blouse vs. black or Double up strands of pearls in black and white or Carry a bright, bold purse. People will talk to you because of what you're wearing - and remember you.
Ryan Paugh: I was at an event last winter and I wore a really funky fur hat in the bar. I didn't have to approach anybody because people were talking to me left and right about my hat.
3. Know your audience
Sean Masters: If you're going to Dan Schawbel's "30under30" party, come up with 2-3 questions you would love to ask him regarding Personal Branding and ALSO come up with 2-3 branding/social media questions you could ask ANYBODY attending.
Paige Holden: For one tweetup it turned out that several of the speakers that I follow and admire, like Jason Falls, were coming. I had been reading their stuff for years, and was prepared, so it was easier to go right up and started talking to them about their blogs, pr, etc.
4. Be honest
Mehul Kar: How about being honest and saying that you're not feeling like networking? Chances are the other person has been in the same boat. That's conversation material right there.
Ryan Healy: Think about it, you just asked a group of strangers right here on Brazen how you should break the ice, and you effectively broke the ice! It's really not much different just because you are in person.
5. Remember: You're probably not alone
Julia Kious Zabell: There is at least one other person who feels the same way in that room...if you need some camaraderie, scan the edges of the room for other people who are just not feeling it. But, be sure to move on from complaining how hard networking can be into what you are passionate about...misery loves company, but deep connection is more fun!
What about you? When you're not feeling the networking scene how do you handle the situation? Share your advice in the comments section below or in the original conversation thread on Brazen >>
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Comments
07.27.10
Way to turn a thread conversation into a post.
07.27.10
Yes, great post, I love it. I'm off to a blogging conference next week so this is timely for me. I can get quite shy but I'll be putting on my outgoing hat and trying to mingle. I think I'm going to ask people what their goals are with their blog, if they've ever been to an event like this before and what they hope to get out of it.
Clothes are so important, that first impression counts so I'll try to come up with an outfit that looks smart and professional but interesting and unusual in some what too:)
07.27.10
I knew style always plays a big part in it! Be unique, and show it with what you wear -- why not! =)
07.28.10
yep, style works for me too. Apart from being a web geek I'm also a medieval re-enactor, sometimes wearing tiny bits and bobs like medieval bracelet and such. It's amazing how many people will ask just about that.
Also, honesty is very refreshing, I believe, which makes for a great start of a chat - not many people will expect a well placed honest remark.
07.28.10
These are great tips! I have an additional question if anyone has a thoughtful solution. I'm terrible about pulling away from a conversation with a talker at a networking event. You know, the person you literally just can't escape from that chat your ear off for an hour and ends up being the only person you talk to all evening? Call me too nice, but I've over-used the restroom break excuse a little too much. :(
Ashley
07.28.10
@ Ashley - I usually laugh at some point during the conversation, touch the side of their arm and say "That's great. I need to refresh my drink though! We'll have to continue this conversation later." It's all about giving them a big smile and all your attention when you say it. I'm also good at, for better or for worse, using the other people I know to get away from talkers: "Oh, here's Frank! Frank, met Mr. Talker. Frank does XYZ, Mr. Talker does XYZ, I'm sure you two will have lots in common... " :)
Hope that helps!
07.28.10
Precisely what I wanted to say, but had to entertain the ferret :)
I also leave saying that I've just spotted a certain person that I need to talk to. Being genuine when you apologise for leaving will prevent leaving a bitter aftertaste after our hasty retreat :)
07.28.10
I like the simple tips here. It's stuff I've heard before, of course, but simplified into easy bullet points.
@Ashley- The best alternative to "restroom break" that I can think of is to find someone else to introduce yourself to and introduce yourself and the Talker to the new person.
In many situations, this may not work. And if you can't find anyone else to talk to, it may not work.
But it works sometimes because the Talker, more often than not, is the kind of person who talks so much to another individual because they clam up when confronted with a multiple-person conversation. So, now that the Talker is confronted with a potential CONVERSATION that gives them minimal opportunity to make it into a MONOLOG, they may shut up, or may even chill out and demonstrate a better side of their personality.
I guess I try (key word: TRY) to use Talkers to my benefit. They're not usually bad people, and, after all, having a partner to meet other people with usually makes it easier to introduce yourself.
07.28.10
A colleague went to comic con dressed as Guy Gardner from the Green Lantern. She said it provided an instant connection with the other Guy Gardner fans. It's a extreme example but it illustrates the wear something unique and know your audience points.
08.06.10
Ashley, "The Public Speaker" has some great tips on ending a conversation. http://publicspeaker.quickanddirtytips.com/politely-ending-conversations... ... personally I like to 1) Positive comment 2) summarize/outline next steps... "It was great talking to you Tom, you have a lot of great ideas about x... regarding the position I will follow up with you by phone monday, sounds good?"
08.06.10
Well, I've had my big networking event with Darren Rowse from Problogger and 150+ other bloggers. It was fun and just reading these tips and thinking about how to handle it made me feel more confident and self-assured. I know most bloggers and the jeans and Tshirt kind but I dressed up a bit and that was good. I showed them I cared, looked better and stood out from the crowd. Thanks everyone!
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