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There comes a time when talking about the past gets old, or at least, older than you make it out to be. It seems like such a big deal when we talk about it, but you have to realize that talking about matters long gone doesn’t really help you.
What it does instead is delay action:
I’m sorry to hear that you didn’t get the score you wanted, but what are you going to do to fix it? I can see that you’ve gained some weight since your surgery, but what’s your next course of action?
Even when talking about past accomplishments:
Congratulations on successfully selling your first product to a hungry audience, but what about your second? I’m happy to hear that you’ve lost a lot of weight, but what are you doing about it?
I know that you’ve done remarkable things, but who are you inspiring right now?
This shows that a matter of the past is not one of the present. You’ve already experienced it; why bother making yourself relive those moments day after day, month after month, or year by year?
Act presently
Now given this advice, one would suggest that you speak instead of new goals as opposed to old ones.
This too is counterintuitive. Whether you’re living in a past long gone or trying to exist in a future unknown; talking about either serves no purpose.
I used to tell myself this all the time, but I don’t think I’ve ever truly listened until just recently. Evidence for this lies in the fact that I constantly wrote about how much of a pain my past was to deal with.
Family issues, high school insecurities, things like that.
Still, as if to ease my conscience, I reiterated to myself countless times:
“What’s happened in the past is done. I’ve long since moved on.”
“The future will be much brighter. Can’t wait until then.”
I believed that if I told myself this enough times, I would be able to move on. But in the end, that wasn’t what helped me move past these hangups.
What did help me was something that I think most of us tend to overlook when trying to get over the past: I zipped my lips on what I couldn’t presently control.
Which statement is worth more?
I’m looking for a job or I will look for a job?
I’ve practiced for six hours or I’m practicing for six hours?
USE PRESENT CHOICE TO DO WHAT MATTERS NOW
The past can be left behind by the choices you make now. If you failed before, does that warrant you to think that it will happen again?
No, it doesn’t.
You can choose to use your past experience as a teacher, to help guide you towards success. Or you can choose to remain stagnant, obsessing over what’s already finished.
As with most things in life, choice is everything. The ball is already in your court.
Editor’s Note: I had a post all ready to go on Monday, but due to my sheer dislike for it, I deleted it. I ultimately found it unoriginal and not worth publishing in the first place.
My apologies to those who shared the post minutes before I sent it into deep web space.
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Comments
Editor's Note: Inappropriate comments that are offensive to the author or not in context to the author's post will be removed. For editorial feedback, please contact our Community Manager through his user profile. Click here.
July 9, 2010 9:34 am
Thanks so much for the feature! I won't be replying to comments here, but if you have anything you'd like to ask, come over to my blog, HiLife2B.
Again, thanks! Have an excellent weekend everyone.
July 9, 2010 10:54 am
I do believe that you can only move forward by looking back, however, a point you didn't raise was when news becomes history, and I think that point may be different for everybody.
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