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I take most of my life advice from stand up comedians. Seriously.
Patton Oswalt is brilliant and if you haven't seen any of his stand up, shame on you. Youtube that shit right now. Anyway - he has this brilliant take on birthdays and that, for the most part, after a certain age, you're too old to be having one.
I was thinking about this yesterday as I cancelled my birthday plans. My birthday isn't til June, but working seven days a week means it's hard to plan shit, so I started early. Well, two days after I set the date and the plans (low key drinks at the pub), sure enough a concert was announced that I knew 90% of the people attending would want to go to. So I cancelled it.
But even before that I was kinda thinking that maybe it's a little silly to still be inviting people out to the bar for a 28th birthday. Especially since I don't drink that much and hate being around drunk people - I'd planned a party that wasn't even going to be fun for me. Woooo!
I think I still might do a girls night, if only for an excuse to go out for dinner with some ladies I really like (keep out, smelly boys!). But I dunno... we'll see.
Anyone else out there think at a certain point, you should start letting the birthdays just pass on by? The only thing that bothers me about the idea is that I will lose an occasion to eat cake.
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Comments
05.16.10
I don't think you're ever too old for birthdays. However, I do think that after about 25, you're too old for birthdays if you're not hosting.
Don't get me wrong--if a group of friends wants to take you out for your birthday, that's really nice of them, and I don't think that's a gift that needs to be turned down. But I know too many people who seem to think that I should find their birthdays important enough to spend a lot of money on the evening, and I just don't. It has nothing to do with how important the friendship is. It has to do with the fact that we're no longer seven years old.
Here's my typical birthday: I have two friends who have birthdays within a few weeks of mine, and we usually do something together. Once this meant a day at a high-end spa. Once it meant a potluck at someone's home. This year we had coffee and lunch. It varies based on our respective time and finances, but for the past decade it hasn't involved anyone other than the three of us. And I usually have dinner with my husband, at some local place (usually a bit of a dive) that we've been meaning to try. My office only realizes it's my birthday when the flowers from my husband show up. Then people say "why didn't you tell me?" And I wonder exactly how they think I should go about that. It's not that big a deal; it's just another birthday.
05.16.10
No, I think the idea of owning just one day within the course of the year is still worth a bit of something extra, even if it is just a free cake or something. I don't expect anyone to do anything, though saying something to me on that day is so easy, I do think it's rather lousy for them not to.
05.16.10
Never too old for Birthdays. I do think also that after 25, others should host and take you out for your birthday. However, I still talk to friends that have birthdays near mine and try to arrange something out to celebrate together. I'm 33, married with Kids and I need that one day to celebrate..so never to old for parties!!!!!!!
05.16.10
How old is too old? Three hours after the funeral is too old. Anything younger than the pronouncement of death is just fine.
05.16.10
I think B-days are for other people to celebrate your contribution to them... I think the most important B-day party I will ever have is the one thrown after I dead.
If I have lived a good life, It will be a sellout :-)
The challenge is if you live too long. My Great Grand Ma Died at 108, she outlived most of her children and the lion’s share of her good friends. She was blind when she died but lived for the game of Euchre and would play with an attendant whispering her cards into her ear. Even still she had a packed house for her funeral (last b-day party so to speak), and she is missed by a crew of great grand children. I love telling her story. (as you just experienced) Till my dyeing day her memory will live on and her berth will always be something I celebrate.
But these are just the thoughts of a "Smelly Boy"
05.16.10
I think B-days are for other people to celebrate your contribution to them... I think the most important B-day party I will ever have is the one thrown after I am dead…. If I have lived a good life, It will be a sellout :-)
The challenge is if you live too long. My Great Grand Ma Died at 108, she outlived most of her children and the lion’s share of her good friends. She was blind when she died but lived for the game of Euchre and would play with an attendant whispering her cards into her ear. Even still she had a packed house for her funeral (last b-day party so to speak), and she is missed by a crew of great grand children. I love telling her story. (as you just experienced) Till my dyeing day her memory will live on and her berth will always be something I celebrate.
But these are just the thoughts of a "Smelly Boy"
05.16.10
I like Paul (the Smelly Boy) MacP's comment, and others, ie you're never too old to celebrate you. When you get married, you'll have a regular person to do that, and one whom you can celebrate. In the meantime, invite friends to celebrate with you, big or small party, it don't matter.
I think I'm too old to be hangin' around here, tho...I didn't get that it was a site for young/early career people....but what if I change careers at age 50...am I early in my career?....just wondering...
-'nother Smelly Boy
05.16.10
Nope your never too old for a birthday celebration. However you can get too wise/mature for celebrating in a certain way or in a way that really isn't you. A party at MaccyDs is cool if your 6 but it's down right weird if your 25. Similarly I'm not a crowd person so a club is not somewhere I'd go for my birthday. I'd rather spend it at a gallery, cinema or a dinner party at home with a few good friends.
Actually thinking about it this goes for any kind of significant date like New Years. This year we had a invite to a friend's party but having just unpacked in our new place we really weren't up for it. So we had drinks with the SIL and BIL (we rent their suite) and then crashed just after midnight. Basically it was the right celebration for our situation.
05.16.10
You know what? I'm starting to feel the weird pull of this mid-twenties doldrums, too..I wonder if we maybe need to step up the birthday celebrations to something more age-appropriate..? Theme parties, winery afternoons, vintage crawling, SKY DIVING, weekend trips..? What if, as we get older, we see celebrating our birthdays as a new challenge, a new opportunity to present and examine ourselves instead of just an excuse to get wasted on Natty Light? Just musing..I have almost a whole year to plan my next one so now I'm thinking!
05.16.10
I am not going to lie to you, I am more of a good restaurant followed by a bar tour sort of guy for my B-day.
But I do know some people who think about things differently than I. One B-day thing I did once for the "legacy" types out there was a day of planting trees.
I used to live in Alberta and we had a forest fire the season before we did this, and some local parkland was destroyed. A friend of mine organized a nice pick-nick lunch in the middle of a day of tree planting to celebrate his b-day. If all goes well, those trees will outlive us by a century or two. In the moment I thought is was kind of weird, but looking back I remember him and his party well.
05.17.10
I haven't had a good birthday party since around college- my birthday is in December so that pretty much means everybody has holiday parties. I should just give up on trying to celebrate in any kind of fashion.
05.17.10
I don't think you are ever too old for birthdays! I hope to continue to have at least a mini celebration every year. I don't always want a huge celebration but I do want cake.
05.17.10
Well maybe I am a little old fashioned or childish or both, but I don't think you ever outgrow your birthday. Maybe you do outgrow the whole party and gifts thing. After all as I grow I find there are fewer and fewer things I need, much less want that are tangible anyhow. The things I desire are more like time with friends and family, laughter, music and a quiet morning in nature.
So maybe you are looking at birthdays the wrong way. I tend to look at them as a time to reflect, both on what I have accomplished, and on where I'd like to be in the future. Where I am going, and the path I am on. That's what birthdays mean to me.
05.17.10
It depends on the year. For 27, 28, 29 didn't do much...have no plans for my 30th....
I think its just an excuse for people to go out and party / get wasted.
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