As a trained therapist, coach and numerologist I have many people that come to me because they feel like something is missing. Perhaps it feels like this “thing” is missing in their work, their relationships, or just in their overall day to day lives.

There is a sense that they are not living their purpose. They are not doing what they are here to do. They want me to help them discover their purpose and then figure out what that means and how it might play out in their life.

I most certainly can help people discover what makes them tick and through various roads we can identify the closest we can know of their life purpose but that’s something I see as very much secondary to the real issue.

But I get where they are coming from. I felt that way for a long time and I lived as, what I refer to as, the “This isn’t it storyteller”.

I was sure that I wasn’t quite hitting my stride and I kept looking for something external to change it – in my eyes a day filled with the kind of work that always had meaning, that allowed me to use the very best of me and that when I held it up to other people who seemed to have it all perfect, didn’t make me green with envy.

Then one day I had one of those experiences that changes you. It was so powerful that now I think of my life in two parts, before it and after it.

I was lying in bed, staring at the ceiling, sure that if I just stared long enough the answer would come. I wanted answers, solutions, and step by step directions for how to work with more of the clients I loved, make more money in my business, spend more time doing my work than marketing it, do more of the thing I am best at, improve my relationship, solve my infertility issues, and on and on.

I thought they were all different and that each had a special solution and looking at it that way overwhelmed me. It was paralyzing me.

As I lay there I suddenly felt this unmistakable tightening of the throat. My heart beat faster and I couldn’t have made a sound if I wanted to. I was overwhelmed with a feeling that I’ll never get there and that what I want is not possible. I felt exhausted.

Then suddenly these questions came to me: What if that’s okay? What if having the answers was no longer important to me?

Immediately my body relaxed. My breathing returned to normal and a warmth filled me from my head to my toes. It was like the most powerful orgasm I have ever had.

You know those moments in your life when you become keenly aware of yourself as a physical and spiritual being and you become the observer who knows without a doubt that everything is perfect? I was having one of those moments.

And that’s when it came to me. The answer was not going to be found in a step by step plan. It wasn’t going to show up in the perfect client or the perfect man or the perfect new baby. It wasn’t going to be represented by the balance in my bank account.

It could only come from calling it love.

How obvious right? We have heard it a gazillion time. First comes love. Love is all there is. All you need is love. And while we may think we know it and we might even say the word love every day, very few people operate from a place of love first. Lots of other things get in the way like ego and anxiety and worry and stress and doubt and fear.

But imagine what it would feel like if your preoccupation was not with stroking your ego, fear of what may or may not happen or stress and indecision.

What if your preoccupation was with love? What would change?

My experience is that everything changes. Your relationships change. Your physical body changes. Your business changes. Your bank account changes.

I have experienced this myself and I’ve seen it with my clients over and over again. “Before love came first” instead of celebrating the fact that I could run a marathon on a whim, do push ups and pull ups, do any sort of crazy move and activity my 3 year old daughter suggests, and score off the charts on the health related tests and exams, I beat myself up for what my body could not do. I saw it as a failure. I saw it as weak and inadequate. Before love came first I attracted more clients that drained me and I resented them for it. Before love came first I expected my partner to do more and be more. Before love came first I was sure that I was missing the mark somewhere.

After love came first it all flipped. I didn’t solve my infertility but I no longer considered myself defective and I was able to give 100% to the one perfect and miraculous child I did have. I started effortlessly attracting the kinds of clients I love. My relationship improved. My energy went through the roof. I started looking at my work with a whole new lens.

I’m not saying it’s easy. And as crazy as it sounds I have to remind myself that love comes first. When I get stressed and preoccupied with the thought that I should be doing someone else, love doesn’t always come first. So I have to bring myself back. I say this to myself often “What would change if I approached this with love?” And when I do the shift happens immediately. It’s powerful beyond words.

Today, move from a place of love first. Then keep reminding yourself, as I do every day, first comes love, then comes everything else you could ever want or need.