Men:  From the time we first entered puberty, the curiosity we had with the female human body began to grow.  Throughout our high school years, it seemed that all our friends were already sexually active.  Were they really, though?

Some of them were.  And some who claimed to be, actually were not.   I’ve read several books that claim that a man’s number one need is sex.  So it should come as no surprise that all of us had these desires.

Some of you who read this article may be experiencing this right now:  “Should I have sex with my girlfriend before we get married?  We are going to get married anyway, and we love each other, so what is the big deal?”

So what is the big deal about having sex before marriage?  Here are some reasons why you should not have sex before you are married.

1.  Marriage is about the commitment

We have all heard the argument (or maybe even said it ourselves) that you don’t buy a car without first taking it for a test drive.  Really?  Are you going to make that statement about the woman you hope to spend the rest of your life with?  “We were having a hard time coming to an agreement on a payment amount, but then I took her for a spin and that sealed the deal.  That was one sweet ride!”

If we really must continue on with this car-buying metaphor, then let’s think of it like this:  There isn’t a car dealer around who is going to allow you to take the car to your home, let it live there for months, drive it all you want — without you signing the purchase agreement and setting up payment terms, and oh yeah, getting that nice big payment book to take along with you.  You have to make the commitment to purchase.

Marriage is a commitment.  Remember before when I mentioned those books that said that a man’s number one need is sex?  Well, those same books also say that a woman’s number one need is security.  Part of that security comes from the commitment you make to be with her “for as long as you both shall live.”

If you are thinking, “if I make the commitment before we have sex, then I’m meeting her need without having mine met.”   Yeah — so?  For one thing, you should be a man.  You should meet her need without the guarantee that yours will be met.  This is important.  This shows how giving and unselfish you are.  Secondly, this is one more way in which you can show her that you are able to control yourself.

2.  You won’t have to worry about contracting sexually transmitted diseases

Why is it that we expect the man to have had sex before marriage, but we also expect the woman to be a virgin until the marriage night?  With whom, then, are the men having sex?

We’ve all heard that whenever you have sex with someone, from the perspective of receiving a STD, you are having sex with everyone she has had sex with.  And the same goes for her — she is having sex with everyone you’ve been with.

Think of this like playing the lottery, except not in a good way.  What I mean by this is that the more you play the lottery, the more likely you are to lose at playing the lottery.  If you don’t play, you never lose.  The odds that you’ll win the lottery don’t increase with the number of times you play.  Every week, you have same odds of winning that you had the previous week — which are extremely low.  The odds that you’ll lose are no worse either; however, those odds are pretty high.

Same thing with sex.  If you don’t have sex with multiple partners who have had sex with multiple partners, you greatly reduce the odds of contracting a STD.  If you don’t have sex with anyone prior to your marriage, and your wife doesn’t either, then you pretty much have zero chance of contracting a STD.

3.  You won’t have to worry about an unplanned pregnancy

I could copy/paste the above paragraph about odds and stuff, but I’m not going to.  But you do see how fitting it would be, right?

Babies are a huge responsibility.  It takes a lot of money to have a baby.  And babies didn’t ask for you to bring them into this world, to be born to parents who don’t have jobs or insurance or a stable relationship — let alone a marriage.

But babies are indeed a blessing.  They can touch your heart like no one else.  Can babies save relationships that are based upon sex?  A relationship based only upon sex is not really a relationship at all.

It isn’t my intention to sound preachy when I write these words.  I’m speaking to you from experience, here.  If you’ve ever read my About David page, you know that I got my girlfriend pregnant before we got married.  My dad told me one time, “If you get her pregnant, you’ll ruin 3 lives — not just 2.”  That can be true — but it doesn’t have to be.  It certainly will change your lives, though.

My wife, who is one of the most intelligent people I’ve ever met, never went to college.  She could have been anything she wanted, but she didn’t pursue career interests.  She stayed home to care for our baby.

I was 20 when I got her pregnant.  I was a college student working a part-time job.  Twenty-one years later, I finally finished my degree.

My point is this — I can tell you with a high degree of certainty that your life will take a drastic turn if you get your girlfriend pregnant.  If you have waited for 15 or 20 or more years before you have sex the first time, what difference would a few more years have made?  Get a firm foundation built with your life and your marriage.  You owe that to the woman you love and to your babies!

What are some other reasons why you should not have sex before marriage?  Speak up in the comments!

Related Articles

These Personal Traits That Are More Valuable Than A Nike Endorsement Deal

Be A Great Dad To Your Daughter — Here’s How

37 Things Real Men Don’t Do

Men: Things You Must Stop Doing After You Get Married

Like this post? Please consider clicking that Retweet button at the top of the article; or click the ShareThis button at the bottom of the article.

Sign up to receive free Control Yourself! Newsletters. I’ll never share your information, nor will I send you any spam.

Facebookers — Check out the Control Yourself! fan page on Facebook.