
I went to the same school for 13 years before college. The same people were there, day in and day out, and every “first day of school” was really a strong feeling of déjà vu. I was in the middle – not popular, and not a loser; comfortable in my situation, while still having the occasional pangs of wanting to be liked, and the teenage angst and embarrassment of my family.
Going to college in my hometown of New York City was eye opening – and it changed me forever. The independence that I gained made me realize a lot of my dreams and goals – but at the same time, I reached that point where you start to question who you are. Everyone around me was rich and powerful, and I was just – there; going to school, working for money, volunteering, and trying to figure life out. I didn’t always appreciate the things that lay in front of me.
My parents were taking out loans to help me pay for school. I was living well beyond my means, eating sushi and taking cabs every night, and I just attributed it to playing a part. I wasn’t being myself – at least not in my truest sense. I didn’t write a lot, I didn’t spend a lot of time taking care of myself, and I was most concerned with what others thought about me. It seemed my life in a 13 year bubble had taken its’ toll on my ability to adapt. Without that previous life, I had no real sense of who I was.
I struggled with depression for a really long time – throughout high school and college, and even into my years after. It was really difficult. Throughout the process, I was probably really difficult to deal with. I didn’t really appreciate anyone, and focused on myself (as depressed people tend to do…). One time, my mother came to the City to spend some time with me, and I decided it was more important to basically do anything but spend time with her. To put it short: I was a hot mess.
Over time – and through a combination of many different things – including running, my husband, friends, and other support, I have been inspired to appreciate things in everyday life. I have made sure that this list always includes myself. It is crucial to appreciate those people, places, and things in life that have gotten you where you are – but I’ve found it just as valuable to appreciate yourself. You are pretty awesome, and without your own support of yourself, it’s hard to feel good and appreciate the rest of the things in your life.
Appreciation is something I have learned about the challenging way – but I think it’s something I am continuing to learn each day. It’s about thanking people for showing you the good in you.
Appreciative Revolutionary: Beth Oppenheim-Chan (@boppenheimchan)
Bio: Beth is a 25 year old nonprofit professional working in DC, but a New Yorker from birth. She is really interested in international development and saving the world. She is also interested in the fact that being in your twenties is way harder than anyone ever told you they would be. She loves to write, read other people’s writing, and just explore her many career thoughts and options…as they keep multiplying, one by one.
Favorite ice cream flavor: Ben & Jerry’s Magic Brownies
I appreciate Beth’s honesty, her determination, and most of all, her friendship!