I definitely enjoyed this article. I loved your quote from Michael Lewis. I have been coming around to the idea that your job is not necessarily going to completely fulfill you, but that most people probably have to have other activities and pursuits outside of work that they enjoy.

Still, I have to take issue with the idea that many women are still pursuing successful men so that they can enjoy a certain lifestyle. I believe there is an increasing trend toward more successful and more educated women partnering up with men with the same education level or less and who earn the same amount or less than they do.

Maybe I just have a grudge on this issue as a woman for whom money and power has never been a factor when looking for a mate. I tend to resent those kinds of generalizations of my sex. There are also plenty of men out there who enjoy being with a successful and wealthy woman for the same reasons. I can think of several couples-night dinners I've been to in the last few months during which at the end of the meal, the woman in each couple pulled out her bankcard and paid. There is nothing wrong with that either; I just mean to say that at this point in time I think the financial dynamics are shifting in relationships.

Still, that is beside the point of your argument, which is that power and success do not necessarily make for an accessible and connected and emotionally available partner, which is an excellent and interesting observation.

I'm actually afraid that I'm going to be the insanely successful one who has a mate hate me for not being around enough. Maybe because of my personality, I ended up with a lot of guys who were very insecure. Trust me, after three calls a day about my being "unavailable" (at work), I got tired of it. If I made plans with you and showed up, can't I have my working hours for work? I don't know, I think it's hard when it comes to any extreme personality.

I think a lot of guys are scared of by ambitious women as well. Some find it attractive, but eventually the hype wears off just the same and their insecurities start to come out. I'd be perfectly happy finding someone who has similar goals and priorities as me (ha ha ha) so we could relate to each other, have healthy competition, and shine back and forth (or together) without either of us feeling like we have to struggle to keep up.

Hey Adam, nice post. I would have liked to see you explore the dating angle from the headline a bit more. But, my two cents...confidence and power are often intertwined. To get anywhere in life, you have to be confident, and I think everyone will agree on that. You can be born with power though (think rich kid types) and wield power but still lack confidence. I'd say this is rare but it happens.

As far as attraction goes, everyone (women and men) are attracted to confident, ambitious types. Women are attracted to ambitious men because they indicate status and offer a greater chance of security and better lifestyle. That notion is nothing new. Ambitious men are also NOT soft, slackers, or otherwise mediocre...and what women wants that? Men are attracted to ambitious men in the sense that this upwardly mobile dude can help get me something or open a door in the networking sense. I'd much rather my spend socializing with ambitious guys than slackery guys.

I like what Lewis says about a "calling," I think that's very true. We sacrifice everything for our callings because we feel like it's what we were born to do.