I have recently read several posts that claim social media has made them more extroverted even though they are introverted. I thought I disagreed when I read the posts, but I wasn’t quite sure. It has been my experience that social media has helped me be more me. I have done some research and coupled with my own experience as what I would consider a textbook introvert, this is my response. I must give props to Marti Olsen Laney and her book The Introvert Advantage, it has literally changed the way I think about myself.

Introverts (what we are and what we are not)

Introverts are (usually):

• People who get their energy from inside themselves. They are energized by quiet, times of solitude, or spending time with a really close friend.
• People who like depth rather than breadth. They have few friends, but they are close friends. They may not know a little about a lot of different things, but they know a whole heck of a lot about a few things.
• People who tend to be the listeners in conversation, until you start talking their language (meaning those “depth” things) then they can talk your face off.
• People who don’t like to feel rushed.
• People who tend to think a lot before they speak.
• People who while in groups, rarely speak up, but when they do, it is either something monumentally profound or doesn’t really make a lot of sense.
• People who are calm and tend to go with the flow.

Introverts are not (usually):

• Psychopaths (what Freud tended to think)
• Painfully shy
• People who seem to know everybody and consider all of them friends. (This would be more characteristic of an extrovert.) This is one way that facebook makes us seem more extroverted.
• People who like to “try everything once” and are bored with sameness. (extrovert characteristic)
• People who love and are typically good at small talk. (extrovert characteristic)
• People who think or act without the need to think things through first. (extrovert characteristic)
• People who are energized by activity and are eager for more even after something stimulating (extrovert characteristic)

Why social media makes me more introverted

1. My best conversations/discussions take place on-line. I have thought this for quite some time and have been almost ashamed by it. I felt nerdy and a little pathetic that I have better conversation and discussion sitting in front of a computer screen pecking away at the keys than I do face to face. I love face-to-conversation, but I tend to get a whole lot more out a g-chat conversation. It made no sense until I understood introversion. I like to think before I speak and I seem to be able to get my point across so much better by writing something than speaking something. From what I have read, this is textbook introversion. I sometimes have a lot of good things to say, but in face-to-face conversation, the fantastic explanation I have floating around in my brain never quite makes it out of my mouth. But if you give me a keyboard, my thoughts tend to flow more naturally. Hello G-chat (or facebook chat if it works.)
2. I have something to say, but it may come a few hours or days later. That fantastic comeback, great piece of advice, of even the person’s name you asked me if I knew, will come, but it is never instantly. This one of the most, if not the most frustrating part of my personality (or that is usually how I feel.) It is also another characteristic of introversion. With social media sites like facebook and twitter, it is easier to hold off on replying to that thread, giving advice via message, or replying to that tweet until I have my thoughts together. I usually end up sounding a lot more together, just because I have been given time to process my responses.
3. My inner thoughts get a voice. The thing about being introverted is that sometimes people don’t really know me. When some people hear my opinion, read something I write, or laugh at something I say, they tend to be almost surprised. (This again, is introversion.) Social media sites like facebook and twitter give the opportunity for me to give these inner thoughts, opinions, and funny comments a voice. I cannot tell you how many times people I have known for years tell me that they had no idea how funny or opinionated I really was, until facebook.

Three cheers for introverts! There is nothing wrong with trying to implement more extroverted (or introverted) characteristics in your life, but why not celebrate who you really are and let social media help?

Are you introverted or extroverted? Does social media enhance this part of your personality?