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Today was a rough day. The only thing holding me together, financially fell apart. It is a game…this freelancing thing. And I’ve played it well for the last year and a half. Companies go in different directions and when those directions do not match people part ways. So, that’s way happened today. I won’t whine about it. I won’t disparage the company. I won’t say much more. But I will ask my friends to please think about their reactions.
I understand that many of you are employed. And gainfully. You love your jobs. You may complain and you whine every once in a while, but you love your co-workers and the work you do. So you don’t very much relate to my situation.
For the last few months I have only a handful of times commented about my joblessness on facebook or in person. I don’t feel like it should bring down our friendship or change our relationships. I do not want to be that person who complains about the lack of a job. So, when I do update my status, tweet, or actually bring it up in conversation it probably means that it’s serious business.
Today, after I found out that I lost my freelancing gig I took to my facebook. It wasn’t anything ridiculous or out of control, but I did broadcast to all 341 friends that I had lost the gig. I didn’t expect much, but maybe a virtual hug, an “I’m sorry…” or even, from the handful of people I do know in the field perhaps a “hey check this out…or I have a person I could get you in touch with.” While I did get some of those I did get others that just make me want to shake my friends….
- Why don’t you check Monster?
- Have you applied for jobs with This Big non-profit, That Extra Big Non-Profit, and These Super Popular Selective Non-Profits?
- Read this article about stay at home jobs.
- Why don’t you be a telemarketer?
- Have you joined LinkedIn, BrazenCareerist, BrightFuse, etc?
Yes!! Yess! Yesss! I have done all of those things! So have all the other millions of unemployed people that are out there today. Monster? Yeah? Okay. Like I don’t look there every day. This, that and the other organization…if you named it and are not in the industry other people have thought of applying there as well. I’ve applied. Read an article? Okay. Gotcha. Telemarketer? I’ve talked about the dream. This isn’t it. Social networking? Yes! That’s where I am now. Ugggh.
I love you all. I love my friends. I want to drink with you. I want to watch movies with you. I want to play board games with you. I want to talk to you about your family problems and be there if you need to be picked up from a bar at 3 am and didn’t think to bring a DD. I want to go dancing with you, and hear about bad dates….and perhaps be there for your children and weddings and all that stuff that comes along as we get older. But what I need from you now is real advice, some direction. If you cannot do that I kind of need you to stop giving me the worst advice known to man.
Please know I say this not because I am being mean, but because I need some support in this uncertain time. I don’t expect you to be career experts, HR pros, or resume writers. What I need is some sympathy, some empathy and a shoulder to cry on.
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March 8, 2010 11:37 am
Losing freelancing gigs can be tough — you certainly have my sympathy. Out of curiosity, are you looking for more freelance work or for a full-time gig?
March 8, 2010 5:00 pm
Sometimes people don't realize the best way you can support your friend is to be there for them and not coach them through the process.
March 8, 2010 11:35 pm
People mean well, but sometimes when they give suggestions or advice its really because they don't know what else to do. They want to fix it, not only because you are their friend but because it sucks to not be able to fix things! I was just having this same conversation with someone and it is so incredibly frustrating because the undertone of the suggestion is "duh, how come you've haven't tried XY or Z?" It is not on purpose, they mean well but when you're in a tought spot all you need is support.
I really feel for you, I know its a tough market out there! I'd love to help any way I can but unfortunately, all my non-profit connections are on the East Coast in Philadelphia. But if you ever want to commiserate or need a venting board feel free to message me!
And as they say, the only way out of it is through it (my mom says this all the time)
:-)
March 9, 2010 12:53 am
Well good news is that Monday morning I was offered a full time job on top of a new freelancing gig I found over the weekend. Things happen for a reason, right? I won't have to worry about friends "misguided" advice for much longer, right? :)
March 11, 2010 7:09 pm
CONGRATS!!!!
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Grad School Zone
UVA (Darden) MBA Admissions Deadlines for 2010-2011
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The University of Virginia's Darden School of Business recently published its application deadlines for the coming admissions season. Here they are, followed by our comments in italics:
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