How to Be a Good Mentee: Unfiltered

I’ve had the pleasure of mentoring some awesome students this year. For some of them, it’s a quick email explaining how to find a mentor, others it’s a long, intensive relationship; editing resumes, helping to make connections in the industry, etc.

Yesterday, though, was an new experience for me in the world of being a mentor. So far, the students I’ve worked with have been awesome. I’ll get into that later, because I’m using the good ones as an example for the rest of this post. But yesterday, I was borderline-hounded by a student that sent me his resume late last week. Multiple Facebook messages, Facebook chat messages, etc, all asking the same thing “did you get my resume?”

Granted, I probably should have emailed him the second I got it, confirming that I had received it and that I would take a look at it shortly. So, my bad for not being as prompt as I usually am.

After looking at the resume briefly, it took me back for a second. At first I was a little irked that the student sent me a resume that was clearly whipped up in 30 seconds because I asked for him to send it my way. Then I was irked that there was no cover letter, because I said “be sure to send a cover letter addressed to Mrs. Recruiter Lady so I can pass this along to the right people”.

Then I was irked with myself for being irked.

I am almost 100% certain that Penelope probably thought the same thing when I sent her my first draft of my resume in 2008. But she wasn’t rude. She was direct, offered critiques, and told me to edit and send back to her. I owe it to myself and to the students that I’m helping out to do the same. So I did.

But here’s the kicker – here’s why I think, deep down, that my being irked wasn’t a bad thing. I am a good mentee. I have good ones. I’m spoiled because most of the students that I mentor handle themselves in a way that I handle myself with my mentors. So, it’s only fair that I pass along some advice as to how to be a good mentee. And how to keep your mentor happy. And how to not piss them off.

So, without further delay, here are some tips for how to be a person worth mentoring:

1. Be aware of your mentor’s schedule. First and foremost, when you’re working with someone in a mentoring relationship, be aware of their schedule. I knew when I first started my mentoring relationship withPenelope that she was crazy busy. There is a fine line between being persistent and being annoying. Know the line. Be careful not to cross it. If your mentor doesn’t respond for a few days, it’s okay to follow up to make sure that they received whatever you sent them. But leave it at that.

ROCKSTAR MENTEE MOMENT: Patrick always sends me a text when he wants to chat. He knows that if I have time right then, that I’ll respond and we can catch up. He’s aware that I work long hours, particularly around client launches, and knows that I try to balance a life too. Because he is cognizant of my schedule – I’m way more eager to help him than someone who isn’t.

2. Be aware of your mentor’s preferred method of communication.I know Aaron prefers email – and he’s super speedy about responding. So, if I have super exciting news to tell him, and it’s better delivered by phone, I shoot him a quick email asking when would be a good time to call. Again, two birds, one stone. I’m aware of how he prefers to communicate and I’m also aware that as a super-important marketing guy, he’s got a busy schedule, so I let him tell me when is a good time.

ROCKSTAR MENTEE MOMENT: Courtney has seen great success by emailing my personal email, after business hours. When I’m home and unwinding, I’m still online, but I’m not inundated with work tasks. She knows that this is the best time and the best way to connect.

3. Be interested in your mentor’s life. This is key for a well-rounded mentoring relationship. It seems obvious as I’m typing it but good mentees are interested in what the mentor is doing. But on occasion, there are people that seek out mentors just for the sheer fact that the person may be able to connect them with someone higher up. Which is totally fine, that’s part of networking. But for a mentoring relationship, it’s important to know the difference between networking and mentoring. Which is a whole different post in itself.

ROCKSTAR MENTEE MOMENT: Jasmine is awesome to mentor, and different from a lot of the students that I talk to. We don’t talk frequently, but when we do, she comes to me with a boat load of questions that she clearly thought a lot about. And she is always interested in catching up before she asks for what she wants. And not just in a “ooh, I have to pretend to care about catching up before I can ask her for a recommendation” kind of way, but in a genuine, “we used to spend a lot of time together and OMG I MISS YOUR FACE” kind of way. Okay, maybe that’s me missing her face more than she misses mine, but you get it.

4. Think one step ahead. If you know that you’re going to be sending a resume that will likely need revising, say that in the email. “Hey Mentor Friend, just wanted to shoot me the first draft of my resume – would you mind taking a look and making suggestions when you have time?” That will go over way better than “here’s my resume”. “Here’s my resume” makes me think that you think this is ready to pass along. So I open it with full intentions of it being ready to pass. If it isn’t, then I’m confused. And if you know me, you know neither one of us has the time or patience for me when I’m confused. So avoid the confusion. Think a step ahead.

If you’re a mentor – what are some of the best qualities of the people you mentor? If you’re a mentee – what extra steps do you take to foster a solid, well-rounded mentoring relationship?