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They say “home is where the heart is,” and I really think that’s true. I grew up in Massachusetts, and moved to Long Island in high school. When someone asks me where I’m from, that’s exactly what I say. I haven’t lived in Mass. since I was 16, so I’m technically not from there anymore, but I don’t consider myself a Long Islander, or even a New Yorker, even though I live in Brooklyn.
I’ve always been very close with my parents, and I don’t like to be too far away from them for too long if I can help it. When I applied to college, the farthest schools I looked at were in Maryland and D.C. I ended up about two hours away in Connecticut, and that was fine with me. It was just far enough that I could enjoy my independence, but close enough that when I had a bad reaction to a new medicine, my mom could come up and take care of me, and close enough for me to surprise my dad for his birthday one year. When I was looking for jobs after graduation, the farthest city I looked in was, again, DC. I’m happy that I work and live in New York City, a mere hour and a quarter train ride from my parents out on LI. My dad comes in on his day off to have lunch with me near my office, and when my mom was in the hospital, I was able to visit her every day after work. Don’t get me wrong, I’m a big girl. I make my own decisions, and I don’t tell my parents everything. But, I am proud of the relationship that I have with them. They are amazing people who I admire and love with all of my heart, and I cherish the time I spend with them.
I’m truly impressed with people who can pick up and move across the country, but at this point in my life, that’s not for me. I’m not limiting myself. I have a great job at a fantastic company that challenges me every day. I have friends in this city from many different times and places in my life. Not everyone needs or wants to step totally outside of their comfort zone. You can still have a happy, fulfilling life by enjoying exactly where you are. I have goals, hopes, and dreams, I haven’t forgotten them. But, if I don’t accomplish them tomorrow, or next week, or even this year, that doesn’t mean they’ll never happen. I’m making every moment count.
*Note: The photo was taken stalker-style outside of my old house in Massachusetts. It now has a random balcony in the middle of the second floor…and Christmas lights.
It's funny. I grew up on Long Island, moved to Georgia for High school, went to college in Boston and worked for a year in DC. During this time, I always considered myself a New Yorker. No matter where I moved, New York was my home. But when visiting family and friends on the island, I felt like a stranger. Sure, the place was familiar, but it wasn't "home" anymore. We had all grown up, and the island wasn't what it was in my memories.
When I lived in Boston and DC, I was miles and miles away from my parents, and coming back to Atlanta has made me realize that my home is my family, too. I was that type, driving hundreds of miles by myself to a new place, but it sure feels good to have someplace that will always be home.
So I've never lived for too long in a location close to my extended family. For the most part, grandparents/aunts/cousins/etc. were always 6-10 hours away...or across the country. Our group of five was really what we had, and we're super close. Fast forward to now: all of us are in different locations. The rents are in St. Louis, I'm in Minneapolis, brother #1 in DC and brother #2 moving to Richmond. It sucks! Even though I'm not an 8 hour drive from my parents, that's still 8 hours. I totally understand what it's like to want to be just a little closer. I'm on my own, and I always wonder if I get really sick or injured, can my mom catch a flight to help me out? Compared to other approaches of living next door to your parents, I think you're doing just fine...
Hooray for being close to your parents, but not too close. My family is pretty small: I'm the only child, and I'm really close with my parents (I've noticed this is true in a lot of immigrant families like mine as well.) I know that I don't want to be more than 3 hours away from my parents at any given point in time, and living in Washington DC while they live in Harrisburg, PA is an easy 1.75 hour trip-it's awesome and I love it. Me + husband are looking at relocating to Philly to be closer to his family as we get ready to buy a house, which would still put me 2 hours away from my parents, but it's not too far.
@Holly: I've felt the same way every time I've gone back to the town where I grew up in Mass. There are so many familiar places with great memories, but it's not home anymore. I'm so glad that family means "home" to you too. If you think about what we love about being home, most of it is related to or because of our family anyway. Thanks for your comment!
@Emily: It's funny that you mention extended family, because I've never lived close to mine either. My grandparents/aunts/uncles/cousins all live(d) in the Midwest, while me and my parents were the rebels on the East Coast. I remember reading a post of yours a while back about you and your brothers. I think it's awesome that you're so close! It must be hard to be so far away from each other now. I'd be interested to hear what you do to stay connected. I asked Grace the same question on the original post. Anyway, thanks for sharing your perspective!
@Vicki: I'm an only child too! I'm with you about the no more than 3 hours thing. It's such a blessing to be close with your parents. I'm glad you appreciate your relationships with them! Thanks for commenting!
Hey Sam,
Great post! I'm the same as you. I am very close with my family as well; there are only 3 of us.
However, for work, I'm going to have to move clear across the country sometime this year. It's going to be really tough, but that's one of the options that is under consideration around these parts.
I've never been much of a nomad either, and I do totally appreciate when people can just go and move...sadly i'm not that person. But any small adventure is worth having, I say :)
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