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I have a situation that has been driving me nuts lately. It's a friend (we work in semi competitive fields) that calls me up once in a while and leaves a message to call her back right away. When I do, the conversation goes like this:
me: Hey! How's it going?
her: great! So great! I'm incredibly busy, my phone's just ringing off the hook with business.
me: that's amazing! Glad to hear it.
her: Yeah, I got a new boss but he just loves me! My job is so great. So busy!
me: really? that's really awesome.
And literally, this conversation goes on and on like this with my range of answers being great, good for you, and that's awesome until I get off the phone. At first, this friend used to make me feel really bad after I hung up. Ummmm, why isn't my life that amazing? My phone rang 3 times today and rarely rings "off the hook" like hers apparently does. Am I just jealous? I am not above being envious but she really takes pains to rub it in and I couldn't understand why she never inquired as to how I was doing. Ever.
The thing is I can't really burn the bridge and tell her to eff off because we see each other sometimes at professional events and I don't want to get into a straight out fight. So if you have to be around a braggart you could try some of these. Come up with fun games for these conversations like:
Can I actually get through this entire conversation by just saying "that's so great!"?
Try to squeak something in about how satisfied you are with your life and watch the braggart ramp up how amazing life is even more.
Play a fun game inspired by Penelope the One Upper from SNL. See if they pick up on it.
I still dread talking to her but it's at least slightly more entertaining now.
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Comments
01.08.10
I like to play rapid-change-the-topic when dealing with braggerts. It never let's them really gain any traction and they tend to lose focus after they forgot what they wanted to brag about in the previous sentence :-D
01.08.10
Along the same lines: try the game of using complete non-sequiturs.
You: Yes, but I have the Ace of Spades. Can you top THAT?
Her: What?
01.08.10
I was watching "How I Met Your Mother" on DVD last week, and one of the characters had found out that he could fake an entire conversation by using the names of sitcoms (Good Times, What's Happening, Gimme A Break, Diff'rent Strokes, etc.). I tried it yesterday, and it works pretty well.
01.09.10
JR, Aurora, Andrew - those are awesome additions to my game! Thanks so much - especially Andrew, that one will keep me busy a while.
01.09.10
I have a friend just like this and I want to punch her in the mouth. The conversation is like listening to a list of how busy she is and why she doesn't have time to see me (obviously I'm not important enough) because she's visiting her cousins, she has a gig, she has a great job, she's sleeping with her hot older boyfriend, she's making tons of money, she's washing her hair. Literally. Every couple of weeks this happens and I don't think she has any idea what goes on in my life at all. I think braggarts keep us around only because we actually put up with the shit and listen. What makes me feel better is that life can't be that great if they a) have time to list the greatness and b) feel the need to flaunt it. Aaannnd, rant over.
01.12.10
Reminds me of this quote from Rushmore: "...with friends like you who needs friends?"
01.14.10
I used to get irritated by these people. This describes about 50% of my former coworkers. Then I started feeling sad for them that they weren't satisfied enough with themselves - their good fortune wasn't important enough unless other people validated its "goodness" for them.
09.02.10
Wow those first three ideas from JR Moreau, Aurora Bell, and
Andrew Weitsman were *awesome*! Will have to try those out myself. Personally I share Lisa's opinion on the matter: if you need validation, I feel bad for you.
Truth be told, I used to brag about anything and everything in my early 20s. Now when I do want to share a big win, I make sure to choose my words carefully so it really is me SHARING and not BOASTING. Big difference!
09.02.10
@Marian dump the friend. i too had a friend like that & then one day i said u know what im done and walked away. and u know what she sat 4 ft away from my desk. she still hasnt been able to figure out what hit her.
09.03.10
How do I deal with a braggart? Make them back up their bragging. Make them "prove" they did what they did, and show how they "walked the walk".
09.03.10
Just interrupt her and ask questions. Sometimes a person who brags can be a really positive influence, you just have to be willing to 'reign it in' and present a counterpoint or question in regards to the bragging.
To be devil's advocate, there are some people who think bragging is a way of talking about positive things. They just happen to have a narrow field of interest that they draw from (their own). Now, I'm saying this, so take it with a grain of salt. I'd have no friends if people didn't get something out of being around a braggert :)
10.01.10
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11.10.10
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11.24.10
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12.20.10
This documentary is really nice. But some aspects need to be changed, it might be easier to just not answer the phonecalls from this braggert, or just brag over the top of them. The idea is good and well directed though. Thanks for sharing. M @ Florida Marlins Tickets
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