I know, I know. I’ve told you guys a gazillion times now that I’m working my ass off. Sorry to belabor (is that the right word here?) the point, but I have some advice for anyone who wants to listen… or read.

READ: These are simply some frustrations of mine and in no way aimed at anyone in particular. It’s more of a venting tool for me. Take it for what you will, take it for comedy, I’m not being condescending, but I am being serious.

Job 1: Art Gallery Retail Job

1. Please do not haggle me (or anyone) on the price of a retail item. Look, I am not the owner, nor the manufacturer of the item you want. I did not price it at $49.99. No, you can’t buy it for $25. Please, don’t get mad at me for charging you the actual price of the item. No, I won’t give you a discount. Is the item broken? Oh, it’s not? Then no, you can’t have it for free. So please don’t make me feel like sh*t when I charge you full price. You are not buying a car. You’re buying a poster. Buy the damn poster at full price.

Job 2: Retail Clothing Store at the Mall

1. No, we don’t have any “doorbusters.” Does it look like you are shopping at Radio Shack or Sears? No. That sweater you are holding is $278 and is practically made of gold and the hair of angels. We aren’t going to offer it 70% off before 9AM. So shut up.
2. You don’t have your receipt? You don’t have any sort of proof whatsoever that you purchased this item at any time, yet you want a full cash refund when you return it and you’re mad that I’m giving you a refund in store credit? Our store has an awesome return policy and a program in place to make returns super easy for you to return things. For all I know, you could have picked up that item when you walked in and said you bought it but are now trying to return something we already own. No dice, my friend. No dice. Take the store credit and scram.

Job 3: Server (mainly), Food Runner (sometimes), and Hostess (sometimes) at local Pub Restaurant

1. You paid for your meal with a coupon, gift certificate, gift card, or some type of similar voucher? Guess what? You still need to tip me. Just because you only paid $1.27 for a meal that actually cost $51.27 doesn’t mean you get to tip me off the $1.27. Many people don’t know that servers only make $2.13 an hour – and all that money goes to taxes. The only way a server makes his/her living is through tips. So when you only tip me $0.50 (cents) on a meal that should have cost $51.27, that is like $9 that I am losing out on. Oh, and I have to tip out a percentage of that to three different people, so in reality, I only made $0.20 (cents) out of that $0.50 (cents). Does that make sense to you?
2. Servers make $2.13 an hour. I said it before, I’ll say it again. As a server, my largest “paycheck” was $9. Yeah NINE (9) dollars. The $2.13 an hour goes to taxes. That’s it. The only money a server makes it off of tips. Keep that in mind the next time you walk out without tipping, or tip 10%.
3. No, 15% is not a good tip. I know many of you will disagree with this, but if you have EVER waited tables, you know that it is not exactly the easiest job. I have waited tables for 7 years and I can’t tell you how many times I have burnt myself, cut myself, dropped plates on my foot, sprained my ankle, sweated, been cursed at, walked out on, etc. It is a physically and yes, sometimes emotionally taxing job. Sure, some servers suck, but you have no idea what could be going on that day to make them a sh*tty server. Hey, they could be working four jobs. Cut ‘em a break and leave them an extra $2. It won’t hurt you.
4. Yes, sometimes your food taking a long time or coming out wrong IS NOT the server’s fault. Those guys in the kitchen work their butts off – and many times, there are only 3 cooks trying to make food for a completely full restaurant. It’s hard work. I respect the cooks and the dishwashers SO much. I could never do that job. So, if your food takes a couple extra minutes, politely ask your server why, and understand that they might be slammed back there. Unless you have to catch a plane or train out of town, an extra 5-10 minutes isn’t going to kill you.
5. When a food runner is standing at the end of your table calling out the names of the dishes, please wake up and respond. Although I have been working out lately, that tray that is on my arm when I am delivering your food is sometimes REALLY heavy and can be really hot. I can’t stand it when I stand at the end of a table, call our names of dishes, and no one responds. The table just keeps on talking and I called out, “Cheeseburger?” at least 12 times then the guy I am standing right behind says, “Oh woops! That’s me.” I say, “Oh, no problem. I didn’t need the 3 layers of skin that plate just burnt off.” If you see someone standing at your table, answer them. They are not decoration.

Job 4: Sales and Marketing Coordinator at Local Radio Station

NOTE: I haven’t told you guys about this job yet. I am actually really excited about this job. It is a part-time, hourly job, but I am really excited about the opportunities that this job can and will bring me. (More info to come later).

1. If you call a company and the receptionist (me) answers and I’m nice to you, please don’t be mean to me. I have gotten so many calls lately where the people are downright RUDE to me. And when I am pleasant to you and doing my best to answer your question, please be nice to me. Being nice goes a long way.

Okay, I’m done ranting. Well, not ranting, just expressing my thoughts/frustrations/things I have learned.

I want to know, what takeaways do you have? Do you disagree with me on anything? Is there anything you have learned in the workforce that you want people to know?

Leave a comment below and let me know your thoughts.

I love you. Yeah, you. Reading this.