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Surely you’ve seen the newest video or article going around discussing the single black woman’s plight around finding a mate within the black community. If you haven’t, read on, the overall comments on the subject will be interesting.
After watching the video yesterday, the part that jumped out at me was the discussion around money/finances in a relationship and the ladies’ requirement in a mate. Steve Harvey asked whether or not the man has to make 150,000/year if she makes that amount?
What say you?
If you made 6 figures, is your requirement that he make 6 figures as well? And, be honest, yes/no and why? I don’t care if you’re black/white/asian/hispanic/indian-whatever. Just need your perspective.
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Comments
12.31.09
Forget marriage. I am about to embark on the single life. ;P And I will put on my OWN ring on it ;P
12.31.09
Definitely don't need my husband to make the same amount as me. And there's no way he ever will, given our career choices. I work for a marketing firm, and he's a high school teacher. Our salaries have a pretty wide spread, but it doesn't bother me at all.
12.31.09
My financial advisor always tells me that I need to marry a man with life insurance. Regardless of his salary, coverage can be hard to get or really expensive later in life. If he's got that as part of his long-term plan, we can figure out the rest.
Additionally, while I don't expect him to make as much as me, I do expect him to pull some weight and have steady goals. I'm not a sugar mama and never will be...
12.31.09
This is even a discussion? Who cares? This same question would never be asked of a man. What is this, 1983?
12.31.09
Hi, thanks for the interesting post!
I wonder if "making X amount of money" is really code for a certain socioeconomic status and way of life. For instance, a politician making $150 grand will probably have both a work life and a social life that are different than that of a building contractor making $150 grand.
Maybe the amount of money that a prospective spouse makes is important to people living by the Golden Rule of "Whoever's got the gold makes the rules."
I guess my requirements center more around compatibility (emotional maturity, liking the same area and living in the same area, handling money & other resources in a way that we're both comfortable with, etc.).
12.31.09
Who has "financial requirements" for a would-be spouse? What century is this again? I have to agree with Alison here.
12.31.09
Who has "financial requirements" for a would-be spouse? What century is this again? I have to agree with Alison here.
12.31.09
Sorry, didn't mean to double post...
12.31.09
I totally could care less. I'll say it once and I'll live by it forever: If I make the dough, you have to compensate with everything else. And the thing I love most of about my mate is that he'll tell anyone in a heart beat that I make the most money. Just like I'll rattle off all the ways he trumps the money with what he does as my mate.
01.02.10
I think Cheryl's going somewhere with her money vs. social status bit. If you make 150K and you want to marry someone who makes more than that, it probably isn't financial security that you're worried about. (You likely already have it!)
01.04.10
I think one of my friends put it best. Her mother said, "Are you looking for a man who can support you?" Her answer: "I'm looking for a man who can support himself."
My husband makes less than I do. If I still worked in the private sector, he'd make a LOT less than I do. Both of us are fine with that. We make more together than we did when we were single, so our overall standard of living is higher (mine as well as his). And we look at the entire pool as "ours," which means that if one of us makes more, we both benefit.
And even more importantly, neither one of us believes that our worth as a human being is correlated at all to our respective salaries. Each of us is more than a figure in a ledger.
01.14.10
Well there are a lot of factors involved in any relationship; it is hard to straight out answer the question posed. I feel that a man OR woman should be making a wage with which they can take care of themselves. "Take care" is in and of itself a loaded term. In my opinion, that involves being able to afford housing, a car, being able to pay recurring bills, and still have a positive cash flow. Others may have lower standards, and that is ok.
My current bf makes less than me as a PhD student who is teaching at a private school part-time. However he lives on his own...and is able to support himself. He has many other things going for him, and I am not willing to write him off due to his meager income. On the other hand, I feel that any couple should strive to make at least $75K (preferably $100K) between them; since raising a family and maintaining a middle-class lifestyle takes about that much income annually.
But in the end; there is more to life than money. Ask any stay-at-home housewife who puts up with here cheating husband simply because she's been out of the workforce for 25 years and feels that she can't make it on her own (there are too many women in this situation, believe me!). I would also think that any guy who would turn me down mainly because of my income (or lack of it) is no better than pond-scum. Shouldn't women be held to the same standards?
All people come as a "package". If you lack in one area, you can have some other asset in another area that compesates for it. In all honesty, as a non-married women, I would appreciate a loving, kind stay-at home, unemployed husband over one that is working and is a crappy human being. Many men may not make a large income, but actually save the household money in that they are resourceful, don't mind watching the kids (child care costs are through the roof!), or like to cook (eating out gets very expensive). The women in that YouTube video disguist me. What right do they have to be so high-on-the-hog and picky?
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