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I was chatting with my sister this morning about a pesky relative of ours. This relative is a control freak and likes to involve herself in other people’s business. Most of the time, her effort is futile because they are not only not welcomed, they are an impediment to other’s lives.
As some of you know, I decided to switch career after I realized my originally chosen path was not the right one for me. I was not happy; in fact, I was downright miserable a lot of times. However, the path I originally chose is quite glamorous from the outside. As such, this relative of ours likes to talk up the career as one of the best around! Not only that, in her mind, getting out of the career must mean only one thing — that one just couldn’t “hack” it! Nothing could be further from the truth!
For most of my childhood, teenage, and young adult life, I was on cruise control. Many things came easy for me, and as such, I never gave much thought to how exactly I wanted to live my life or found out what was the purpose of my life. That is, until I ran into some not-so-pleasant experience and was forced to evaluate what it is that I really want!
For a period of time, dark cloud loomed over me as I dug deep into my soul to find myself and my voice. When I finally emerged from those dark days, I realized I was in the wrong field (among other things). The revelation itself was one thing; the decision to do something about it was quite a different beast. It took me quite a bit more time to build up the courage to stop what I was doing and start pursuing what I really wanted to do.
Why was it so hard? It was hard because I had to start from scratch, and starting from scratch meant I was behind the career “schedule”. I also faced ridicules from people such as my pesky relative who implied that I left my field because I could not “hack” it. Ultimately, none of that mattered or should even compute into the equation of my life, but they bothered me nonetheless — I am human, after all! Luckily, I had strong enough of a conviction in my decision (and lots of supportive friends and family) to persist and eventually triumph over the obstacles and the naysayers.
I think in life, all worthwhile endeavors take courage and persistance to win. They say nothing worthwhile is ever easy, and it’s very true. Easy may be the preference for the short term, but it’s definitely not the long term solution. If you want to do something you love, find the courage in you to do it! And when the going gets tough, surround yourself with supportive friends and/or family! Having gone through the experience myself, I assure you the rewards is worth a million times the work it takes to get there!
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Comments
12.11.09
I'm summoning the courage to do what I love, but it is definitely a difficult task. I currently work in a field I do not love :(
12.11.09
I felt the back of my neck getting bristly just reading about the relative's judgment on your career decision. Really, the *relative* should be the one trying out that field, that must be why they're so smitten with it. But either it's too scary for them to imagine it or they don't believe it's possible and so it's easier to pass the burden forward. Living through others means you don't have to take responsibility for yourself.
I wish there was a nice metaphor for situations like this where you could convey the ridiculousness on imposing personal choices. Like saying, "oh and I guess you can't 'hack' black shirts" or "but I love flat pillows, why don't you??" but I can't think of anything worthy.
What people don't realize is that they push others away when they're like this. That may be the only thing they notice: that no one wants to relate to them anymore.
It's great that you embarked on a new path. That is NOT easy but you're right, so worthwhile. I'd love to hear more.
Your story reminded me of Po Bronson's "What Should I Do With My Life" - a collection of stories from people starting out in one field and realizing they needed to change. I couldn't put it down. Maybe no one talks about this but it seems to be very common, this finding of ourselves in the workplace.
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