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A couple of conversations/comments lately have gotten me thinking about how when you know no different, things don't seem weird. It is not until someone else tells you or you are removed from the situation that you see something is off or different.
My parents do not drink alcohol. Like ever. I never thought it was weird. *shrug* "I don't know, they just don't." Then someone pointed out that it was strange. I had never thought of it being strange before. They used to drink, but now they don't. As far as I know there isn't any real reason.
Another childhood example: we never opened food. My SIL came over one day (before she was my SIL) and suggested eating the cookies. My bro and I thought she was crazy - the package wasn't open. She suggested opening it. "Uhh... We can't do that."
While I was married, I had to check the bank account every single day to see if he had spent money and not told me. Every single day I was afraid something unexpected would come up and things would start bouncing. Eventually I bought a lock box to keep my credit cards and checks in. I had to hide the key way back in the crawl space where I knew that the ex wouldn't be able to find it. Every marriage isn't like that?
Ryder probably doesn't know right now that most kids have two parents. Has no idea that most kids have two sets of grandparents. He will figure it out soon, I suppose, but for now he has no idea.
I've been feeling really guilty lately about "borrowing" my parents' car for the last couple of years. I haven't bought it from them. I pay for the insurance and repairs and such, but not for the actual vehicle. "Parents do give their children cars." I was dumbfounded. Not in my world they don't.
I come from a wonderful home. My family is great. I was never abused in any way. My parents are still together and my mom has never bought a lock box. I am not exactly sure why somethings in my life never seemed strange to me. "Well, that's how it is, I guess," and continue on my way.
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Comments
11.24.09
Normal is so relative, it's almost not even a thing.
I don't drink, nor does most of my family. My friends do, and we all go to the pub. I order fizzy water. It's all good.
Most of my friends grew up with two parents too. I didn't for most of my life.
It's great that you have a great support system and you're doing everything that you can do. Just keep it up. The rest falls into place :)
11.24.09
@Mehnaz Thanks :D
11.24.09
Humans are creatures with such an amazing ability to adapt. I, too, grew up with a non-standard family structure that changed throughout my life as parents divorced and remarried. And now it is myy husband's two parent, incredibly nuclear family that seems so strange to me!
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