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Posted On 10.26.09

On Saturday, I went to an awesome concert with Carla Blumenthal. We met up with my boyfriend’s friend/co-worker, who was there with his wife and several other couples. Before he knew how Carla and I knew each other, he started to explain that their group had become friends because their kids all go to the same preschool in New Jersey. Then he joked, “You don’t really make new friends after college until you have kids.” Little did he know that Carla and I prove his theory wrong.

I’m not even sure when we first connected, or how, but I remember thinking that Carla and I would get along very well. In fact, it was before we had even met in person when I asked Carla if she wanted to go to this concert with me. She must have gotten the same “kindred spirit” feeling that I had, because she excitedly agreed to go. As it turned out, when we did meet in person for the first time a few weeks ago, we had a great time. The concert was only the second time we hung out, but I don’t think anyone could tell. My boyfriend’s friend was surprised to hear how we’d “met,” and although he’s only a generation older than us, he seemed a little taken aback by the power of the digital world. (Acquaintances and friends of ours who we met up with throughout the night had similar reactions when they first heard our story, even though they are GenYers just like us.)

As I’ve said before, bloggers can be friends, too. Not everyone who comments on your blog or follows you on Twitter is destined to become your BFF, but with time and effort, real friendship is possible online. You can become friends with someone you’ve never met. Believe it or not, you can tell a lot about someone from their blog posts and tweets. Instant message conversations and Skype chats aren’t the same as talking face-to-face, but they go a long way towards getting to know people. All of this probably sounds weird and silly to people who aren’t a part of it. No one can deny that friendship in the digital age is different, but in my opinion, it’s different in a good way. I have gotten to know so many amazing people thanks to social media. My life definitely wouldn’t be the same without all of you.

Do you agree with me? Is it possible to be friends with someone you’ve never met? What have your social media experiences been like? Do you feel like you’ve formed some true friendships?

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October 26, 2009 12:18 pm

I absolutely agree!
this year I started to engage more with online media including brazen and some other media. I find that people can absolutely be genuine as you meet them through these media. In fact, some of them, I feel like I've known forever!
I think it's very much like joining a club or a team, except you're sharing interests online :)

huskey.richard
October 26, 2009 12:37 pm

I completely agree, it is possible to build close friendships through people you meet online. I've done this numerous times myself; I met several close friends online first. I think that this is enabled, in part, by our ability to better seek individuals who might share mutual interests. Digital community tools make this process much easier.

I don't think this is widespread, yet. I imagine that Gen Z will be the first generation to truly understand and leverage this opportunity. We will see.

October 26, 2009 1:50 pm

Much like the 'real life' people, there are varying levels of friendship. I've got very close friends that are almost purely digital, while others that are acquaintances. Not everyone I converse with is a friend.

October 26, 2009 1:54 pm

I so know what you mean.

I've connected with blogging friends online for a long time (e.g. YOU;) and I know that we're close, good friends and take our personality beyond just the tweets and blogs we write. I've also met certain blogging friends and it has been so rewarding.

This has only happened within the last year and I have blogging to thank for it. However, I met a few girls who were both new to Colorado. I asked how they met each other and they said Craigslist. They went onto the "looking for a hiking/gym partner" and they found each other and are great friends. There are avenues to meet online. Now, it's not weird to me at all. Many people don't understand it, but I will say that if you blog or tweet the avenue largely widens up for who you can meet online and also be friends with, offline.

October 26, 2009 1:55 pm

PS. So we have yet to meet, but I know that we will someday :)

October 26, 2009 3:41 pm

@Mehnaz: I feel like I've known some of my online friends forever too. Having common interests definitely brings us together.

@Richard: Interesting thoughts. I can't wait to see Gen X's perspective on friendship...although, I'm definitely not ready to feel outdated yet!

@Andrew: I totally agree. Like I said in the post, not everyone who we connect with in these communities is going to become our BFF. If for no other reason than there's not enough time in the day to commit to that many relationships.

@Grace: Craig's List never ceases to amaze me. Not only can you buy furniture from random people and search for apartments, you can also make friends! Thanks for sharing that story. And yes, we will definitely meet one day!

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