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I’ve talked about arrogance being somewhat positive before, but there’s one important reason why it can get you far:
Arrogant people don’t take advice.
It’s not that they don’t want to learn or grow.
It’s not that they don’t practice or work hard.
It’s not that they think they know everything.
They just trust themselves more than others. And I think that’s great.
Reasons why this is a good decision:
- When people give advice they may understand your actions, but your feelings and thoughts will never be as clear to them as they are to you.
Arrogant people know that they can be wrong. But so can others. They will consider what you’re saying, but they won’t give it more credit just because “we should listen to others.” They will give it credit if it’s really something new to them.
I’ve found that my mother for example, the person who knows me more than anyone in the world, has seen this knowledge decrease with the years. My true passions, values, interests and ideas of the world are becoming less and less understood and predictable by people around me. So, should we really follow others’ advice?
- People’s advice is affected by some very human limitations. To name a few:
- Familiarity. People consider “good” what’s familiar to them, what they are used to doing. Consider this when listening to advice.
- Interests. If we can learn something from Freakonomics, it is that people act differently depending on what they can get from it.
- Ignorance. Sometimes people just don’t know enough. But this hasn’t stopped them before.
- Fear. Sometimes people don’t want to see you happy. It can remind them how unhappy they are.
Here’s the thing: Arrogant people listen. They really do. They understand that advice is overrated, because the information available to outsiders is insufficient and twisted. They see how wrong others can be.
Arrogance is about responsibility.
About being the cause of your victories and failures.
About feeling satisfied with your decisions and stop pointing fingers when something goes wrong.
Arrogant people, can always be held accountable.
Final Note: Language is incompetent. Don’t like the word arrogant? Suggest another one, invent one if you want. But let’s refrain ourselves from debating “definitions” and just get the underlying message.
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Comments
10.07.09
You're describing someone who is confident. Arrogance is different. And it's not good.
10.07.09
Apparently the original poster can't tell the difference between confidence and arrogance. This might help
Main Entry: ar·ro·gance
Pronunciation: \ˈer-ə-gən(t)s, ˈa-rə-\
Function: noun
Date: 14th century
: an attitude of superiority manifested in an overbearing manner or in presumptuous claims or assumptions
http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/arrogance
Main Entry: 1con·fi·dence
Pronunciation: \ˈkän-fə-dən(t)s, -ˌden(t)s\
Function: noun
Date: 14th century
1 a : a feeling or consciousness of one's powers or of reliance on one's circumstances b : faith or belief that one will act in a right, proper, or effective way
2 : the quality or state of being certain : certitude
3 a : a relation of trust or intimacy b : reliance on another's discretion c : support especially in a legislative body
4 : a communication made in confidence : secret
10.07.09
I was going to say: arrogance is more about bulldozing your way through life, knowing, despite obvious opposition, that you are right.
Are you sure it's not self-assuredness (or confidence as JRandom and Kate pointed out)?
I might rethink the distinction
10.07.09
Wow, you've just made me view arrogant people in a totally different level. At least not as bad as I use to :) Great post. Has me contemplating...
10.07.09
@Cheila
Manifesting a superior attitude in an overbearing manner (arrogance as defined) is still one of those things that rile me. They're still raging assholes, no matter how you attempt to redefine them. Still have to fight the urge to cut them off at the knees or lower.
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