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I don’t know about you, but I can’t say my twenties have exactly been a roaring success. There have been sprinkles of achievement sure, but not the random-people-hoisting-me-up-on-their-shoulders-like-a-quarterback-who-just-won-the-Super-Bowl success, like I’d imagined.
However, when people give me the five quick answers that are supposed to make me that overwhelming success over night, I become a tad nauseous.
Yes, just follow these five steps and you’ll make thirty thousand more, get fifteen new best friends, find ultimate fulfillment, and re-grow long, flowing locks of hair.
I hate when five things become carte blanche.
THE SECRET
That’s why when giving you the secret of how to completely avoid failure in this decade seemingly smothered in it, I’m not going to give you five easy answers.
No, I’m going to give you just one.
Makes sense.
So without further ado…. drum roll please……To fail-proof your twenties…..
Fail, but never define any thing as a failure.
BAM! Done! Where’s my fee?
I’M SERIOUS
I first wrote about the importance of this in my Top Five Things You Should Hear in a Graduation Speech, but Won’t, and it’s still something I, and maybe you, need to hear over and over and over and over.
Whatever mistake. Whatever wrong turn. Whatever set back. The business that went belly-up. The relationship that died like a salmon on a summer sidewalk. The amazing investment opportunity that fell like a tree during a lumberjack competition. These events are only failures, if we make them such.
Sure the details haven’t turned out the way you planned. But honestly (and I say this as nicely as possible), your plans weren’t that good to begin with. If things lined up like the dominoes that you envisioned, you wouldn’t have had one ounce of conflict, of struggle, of growth for the next 20-30 years.
We need the failure, hardships, and trials to persevere through. Failure is a necessary part of success. But we will not actually do any thing, if we first do not learn how to fail without labeling ourselves a failure.
PICK YOUR OWN ADVENTURE
Make plans, have goals, dream dreams, yes and yes.
But get ready when the pick your own adventure, picks you instead.
Sure people are still not carrying you around like a war-hero coming back to the States.
Fine.
Sure your bank account is not the Duck Tales gold coins swimming pool.
Maybe someday.
But I fully realize now the only real failure of our 20’s, would have been if we never had any.
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Comments
10.05.09
Mr. Nonymous likes to say "A plan is just a list of things that doesn't happen."
Life doesn't conform to your plans. The world doesn't. And do you know why it's so noteworthy when the quarterback who wins the Super Bowl gets hoisted to his teammates' shoulders?
Because it rarely happens.
One of the most important lessons in life is this: most of us are not going to be that quarterback. And that's okay. That in no way minimizes the contributions we do make.
But we can't all be stars. If we were, how would anyone pick us out? We'd still just be among the multitudes.
10.05.09
Did you just feel that? I think we just had a whattup-quake! Man, this is a great post. So simple, so true, so spot on. Thank you for this, Paul. Best advice I've heard in a while. So I guess, here's to, um, failing? :) I love being in my twenties all of a sudden!
10.05.09
All I can say is: "Oh no, not another learning experience!" :)
10.06.09
@katenonymous - Yeah it's a hard drink of water to realize that you might neevr be carried of the field in that HUGE moment. But I've realized, like you, that the more triumphant victories are probably the small little things that no one will ever know about.
10.06.09
@Karla - "A whattup-Quake!" Haha...that could be the best line I've read all year. Thanks for the kind words and I'm glad it gave you a sunny outlook on your twenties. (I kind of have this feeling like you had one before this article though:)
10.06.09
@Jrandom - If I have another major learning experience in the next month, I might be a little nauseous
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