Over the past few months, I’ve been working hard to become the best version of myself. As I mentioned in my most recent update on the subject, I was lucky to find a great book that’s been a very helpful guide on this journey. One of my favorite things about this blog is that I get to share my experiences with all of you and hopefully help you through similar situations. As I was going through the aforementioned awesome book, What’s Holding You Back? By Sam Horn, I came across a number of invaluable tips and tricks that I want to share with you. There are so many that I can’t fit them all in one post! So to start, here are some tips for Gen Yers who want to become the best versions of themselves:

Working a Room:

Many of us Gen Yers are still newbies in the world of work. Going to our first (or second or tenth) work party, industry event, or happy hour with colleagues can be totally nerve-wracking. We want to make a positive first impression and be engaging conversationalists, without overstepping or seeming too confident. To start off on the right foot, try to remember this acronym as you meet new people:

SMILE

S=Smile (self-explanatory)

M=Make the Shake (aka shake their hand)

I=Intriguing Introduction (Don’t diminish what you do with words like “just,” instead explain your job in a unique, interesting, and memorable way)

L=Learn the Name (Do whatever you have to do to remember their name. Try repeating or an alliterative adjective.)

E=Eye Contact (Should also be self-explanatory)

After the initial introductions, things can get a bit awkward. As the new person, you might feel like all of the attention is on you, and that can be pretty overwhelming. As Abigail Van Buren said, “There are two types of people in the world–those who walk into a room and say, ‘There you are,’ and those who say, ‘Here I am!’” When you’re the first type of person, you don’t have to wonder what you should say next, instead you ask yourself what the other person would like to say. Sam (the author of the book, not me in 3rd person) suggests asking “What?” and “How?” questions because they lead to more than a one word answer, and starting questions with the words, “Tell me.” The best way to get the attention off of you is to turn the attention on someone else.

To keep the conversation flowing smoothly, use the old journalism trick of asking follow up questions. All you have to do is listen to what the other person is saying and use their answers to previous questions to find out even more about them. If they touched briefly on a recent trip to a foreign country, ask them what their favorite part of the trip was. Listen to their answer, and when they mention something that sparks your interest, say “tell me more about…” Aside from eliminating awkwardness from the conversation, this method also allows you to pay attention and truly engage in conversation, instead of worrying about what you’re going to say next.

So, you’ve had a great conversation, but it’s getting to the point where you’d like to move on and meet someone new. How do you do so tactfully and professionally? Sam offers Four Steps to Courteously Closing Conversations:

1. Interrupt and say his name.

2. Summarize what he’s been saying.

3. Start wrapping up with “As soon as” or “I wish.”

4. Start verbally and physically departing.

Some people are blessed with a natural confidence. But, everyone has their moments, so I hope you found this post helpful. What do you think of these tips? What else have you tried that works? Anyone have a more appropriate acronym than SMILE?