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Random thoughts about our current relationship with time:
- If you let it, time will be ridiculously scarce. If you don’t, you’ll be left behind fast in the high-competitive world. This is either true, or it’s a choice we convinced ourselves we have to take.
- It’s ok to take time to do nothing. But only when it’s a conscious decision. Having unplanned moments of “doing nothing” is a burden.
- We can’t feel bored anymore. If we do, we think there’s either a problem with our personality or with our habits (this one’s obviously easier to change). This is a good thing.
- Accepting that time is scarce is the first step towards full productivity and enjoyment of your decisions. Denying it (e.g.: by procrastinating) leads to more time-wasting.
- Narrowing the quantity of our relationships (therefore strengthening the quality) is a great time-saving decision. Weak-ties are useful, but “keeping in touch” is overrated. It’s much better to show up with a concrete need or proposal.
I disagree with "keeping in touch is overrated". Do you really want to be that guy that only shows up when he wants something?
Keeping in touch doesn't have to be hard. It's as simple to posting an update on your blog and posting it to facebook or sending a simple email to select contacts letting them know what your working on and what your next step is.
That way, when you show up with a proposal or request your contacts feel more aware of your goals and more invested in your success.
I have to agree with Monica on this one. it's been shown that our ability to get along with others, more than any other factor (money, looks, skill) will determine our happiness in life. I think part of this is just enjoying peoples company, chewing the fat, wasting time...
I also think energy is a more finite resouce than time. Do you know how many hours I can work in a day with laser focus and full attention? maybe 3-5 hours depending on my sleep the night before. I think it's hard to go full intensity for the whole day (be honest). Bryan Tracy says that the perfect balance is 1/3 work, 1/3 play, and 1/3 rest. You decide which is which, for me parts of my job feel like play, and when I get home certain chores feel like work.
At the end of the day I'm done because I'm tired, not because its 5 O'clock.
Monica, Max
Why do we have to assume that we will ask for something when we get in touch again? I believe that each weak tie serve a purpose. Maybe it's talking about soccer, maybe discussing philosophy, or maybe exchanging favors. Whatever it is, it's ok to keep it that way if both people agree. Otherwise getting deeper with everyone will take a lot of your time, and it'll be empty, because that won't make the tie stronger.
I don't feel closer to a weak tie just because I know what he's up to. I feel closer when we both get in touch to do what we expect from each other.
Max, you make a great point on energy being the decisive factor. I'm not saying that we should constantly be working, I believe that relaxing is also important. But, to quote you, be honest: how many people really follow that rule? I'm guessing most people relax and rest way more than they work. Just a thought.
Thanks for your comments.
I was raised out on the west coast in San Diego, CA then joined the US Army and spent most of my time on the east coast in NC. I did not have time to maintain any relationships outside of my career; thinking about that now, I chose not to waste my time/effort pursuing something that would probably make me work harder to maintain. Again, thinking about that now, I have some regrets that I really have no contacts from back in the day where I grew up, but I have a family now so I try to make that important enough.
I have just recently learned how to slow down, and even that takes some effort, mentally most.
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