Brazen careerist
Where ambitious young professionals connect and grow
Email
Print
This is a guest post written by Amber Hensely, who writes about the online university reviews.
Becoming friends with your cubicle buddies seems like an ideal goal at first: you’ll have a laid-back, respectful working relationship, you won’t have to worry about someone backstabbing you in front of your boss and you won’t have spend all day with jerks you hate.
But realistically, you can’t be friends with everyone in life, including the people you work with. Not everyone wants to be friends with their co-workers, and tight relationships can make things like competing for a promotion or delegating tasks uncomfortable. Here are tips for being chummy with your co-workers without sacrificing boundaries.
- Get to know them first. You may hit it off immediately, but getting to know a little about your co-workers can prepare you for awkward situations later on. For example, if you become friends before you realize that your co-worker is actually vying for your position, you may have sabotaged yourself.
- Understand that they may not want to hang out after work. You spend more waking hours with your colleagues than you do with your friends and family, so don’t take it too personally if your colleagues just want to head home after work.
- Consider the relationship between your regular friends and your colleagues. Would your regular friends get along with your colleagues, or do you act differently at work? Before throwing everyone together, honestly consider how well, or how badly, a group party would go.
- Be careful of opposite sex relationships. If you zero in on a co-worker who is a member of the opposite sex, he or she may assume that you’re trying to be romantic, not friendly. If you want to hang out, invite others from the office, too.
- Keep things PC. Don’t bring out all your nasty jokes or personal opinions on politics at the office party. Even if you’re friendly with your co-workers, the office is supposed to be a professional space.
- Don’t gossip about your boss. Friends may tell each other everything, but if you share the same boss, it’s not really a good idea to gossip about work until you’ve been friends for a very long time.
- Try an unofficial office happy hour first. Before creating an awkward situation by inviting a co-worker over to your house, try a transitional social situation by inviting everyone in the office to happy hour after work.
Are you friends with your co-workers? Or do you keep a safe distance by distinctly separating your personal and professional life?
Also, Amber welcomes your feedback. She can be reached at: AmberHensely1980@yahoo.com.
For more timely, relevant, and engaging articles,
subscribe to Brazen Careerist.
- The Anti-Stalker’s Guide for Converting Online Contact into Real World Collaboration
- A New Kind of Business Mover and Shaker
- How To Find a Writing Partner Who Can Help You Achieve Your Goals and Make More Money
- Why You Might Be Better Off Without a Job After College
- Continuing Education: Extending Learning Beyond Your Campus Years
Comments
09.02.09
I think these are great tips. If you work in an office where everyone is really bonded and spends a lot of time together by choice, great! But there's an assumption that that kind of environment is the norm, and I don't think it is.
Which makes sense, after all. Yes, your boss (if he or she is even remotely good at being a boss) wants everyone to get along. But you were hired to do a job, not be friends. Now, if you happen to find friends at work, terrific. But when you start out, all you know for sure is that you have one thing in common: you work at the same place. Getting to know people over time will tell you whether you're going to have a relationship that extends beyond the workplace. If you'd asked me in my first few months at work which co-workers would turn out to be friends, I'd have guessed wrong at every job.
And know that different people have different lives. You may have lots of time after work to hang out; someone with children, or parents in need of care, or a long commute may not have that time. Don't take it personally if someone doesn't accept your invitations. It's likely that they simply have different priorities--far likelier than that they are actually saying they don't want to associate with you outside the workplace.
09.02.09
@Kate I think Amber did a great job with these tips, as well! It's interesting for me to read because at my current job, my co-workers are a few of my closest friends. I think it might have to do with the fact that I relocated, then got a job, then started to meet other friends. Our culture is pretty laid-back and 'chummy' where friendships are infused. However, like you said not every work environment is like that and honestly, that's okay. Sometimes it's nice to go home from work and just interact with your friends that aren't part of your everyday (maybe stressful) work life.
09.02.09
@Grace, that's awesome that you have close friends who you met at work! I do, too; one of my "work friends" was in my wedding, and is someone I am very close to. I got along well with everyone at my former job, but didn't see most of them outside of work. Just about all of them I knew would be there in a second if I needed help, as I would have been for them, but we all went home to different lives and just didn't spend that much time together after hours. But we didn't need to, to have a great work environment.
09.02.09
I agree--great advice. I am friends with my coworkers, but we are not particularly close. I don't really hang out with them outside of work, but that's okay. I try to be open minded toward work friendships, but I don't expect them--I have friends outside of work, too, and they're the people I like to hang out with to get away.
09.03.09
@Holly Thanks for sharing your story. It is definitely different for each group of people, per company and the culture as well. I really don't think there's a right and wrong but I think I might have expectations at my next job(when and wherever that happens) because now we're all so tight, hang out frequently outside of work, etc. I am going to try to not have expectations and of course, take it with a grain of salt.
Got Something To Say?
Got Something To Say?
Not a Member? Brazen Careerist is a career management tool for next-generation professionals. Set up a free account today to comment on this post and start sharing your ideas. Learn more.
Login to view your networks!
 |
 |
|
|
 |
