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The place where the troops camp
thistles and thorns grow.– Lao Tzu
You are not the choices you’ve made.
You are not the child you once were.
You are not your failed marriage.
You are not the setbacks of yesterday.
You are not the bad things that have happened to you.
You are not your past.
The Past Guides Our Choices – It Doesn’t Make Our Choices For Us
Your thoughts or feelings about the past don’t change it. That’s what makes it the past.
Your future is not your past. Your future, right now, is a nest of possibilities. It only looks like your past if your present choices continue the inertia of the past.
The past guides our choices; we have real constraints, opportunities, and experiences based off of the past. Right now, though, those constrains, opportunities, and experiences are what they are – wishing they would be different doesn’t make them different.
Whatever happened, you are here. But being here doesn’t mean you have to stay here or that you will stay here.
Life is but an endless chain of presents and choices. You have never been your past.
What If You Stop Attacking Yourself?
What if you stop beating yourself up about what you did or didn’t do? Perhaps you’d see what you can do.
What if you stop wishing that things were different than the way they are? Perhaps you’d see how to move toward the future you want by using the bounty of the present.
What if you didn’t assume that past failures are who you are? Perhaps you’d believe, just for a second, that you could be successful.
What if you choose to let the past be the past? Perhaps you’d see the ripe possibilities of the future.
Every ounce of energy that you spend attacking yourself is an ounce of energy that’s diverted from your growth. We are finite beings; use your resources wisely.
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Comments
08.28.09
I'm a strong believer of living each day to the fullest! Reflecting on the past is dumb; it happened, it is over, and you must move on. The past is a learning experience- Everyone has their downs, but the ups are what you should live for! Thanks for posting about this topic, Charles!
08.28.09
Controlling the past is impossible. Anytime you waste psychic energy on something you can't control, you are SUFFERING. Living in the future or past will ultimately lead to suffering in some degree.
At the same time, how you do you balance this idea with learning from past mistakes? Surely learning involves some in depth reflection on what has happened.
Great post
08.28.09
I was just talking to a friend about this, and I feel like in a way you have to learn to embrace your past in order to get to your future. The whole you have to know where you've been to know where you are going. It's beyond not regretting things and just "moving on." It's about looking at your past and figuring out how it is shaping your future.
You are not, for example, your failed marriage. But if you don't stop to look at your failed marriage and what caused it to fail, how will you make sure to not replicate history should you give it "the old college try" again.
I get the idea of what you are saying, don't let your past define you. However I don't think you should ignore your past either.
08.28.09
If you're not your past, how did you get here?
If you're not your past, who lived through all the stuff you remember?
We are still, in large part, what we've experienced, and how we've responded to those experiences. We are also the choices we made, the directions we took, the people we've met and the places we've been.
While you can not be totally defined by your past, you can't completely reinvent yourself away from it.
"Progress, far from consisting in change, depends on retentiveness. When change is absolute there remains no being to improve and no direction is set for possible improvement: and when experience is not retained, as among savages, infancy is perpetual. Those who cannot remember the past are condemned to repeat it. In the first stage of life the mind is frivolous and easily distracted, it misses progress by failing in consecutiveness and persistence. This is the condition of children and barbarians, in which instinct has learned nothing from experience."
George Santayana, The Life of Reason, Volume 1, 1905
08.29.09
I’d like to offer this perspective. There are two ways to look at one’s “past”. First, the past can be collection of experiences that can season us, add flavor to our lives, and make us interesting. And second, the past can be the baggage that weighs us down, and holds us back from living our life to its full potential. As one who is seasoned quite thoroughly (!), I would like to point out that as we have more life experience, everyone will have some baggage, and there is a big difference between carry-on luggage and a steamer trunk.
09.02.09
nice article. :) I love it.
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