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When you’re actively looking for a job you should have your references prepared. You should always ask someone to be your reference before you give out their name. The process can be awkward if you have a strictly professional relationship. Sometimes you’ll find that people are not willing to be your reference. Rarely will they tell you the actual reason, most of the time it’s just easier to blame on HR and company policies. So, what is the real reason?
Worst Case Scenario
- They don’t believe or don’t know if you have the skills. – This is the first place your mind will go when someone is not willing to be your reference. It may be true, but it’s probably not as bad as you think. Perhaps they’re not sure this particular job is a good fit for your skills. If you’re applying for a promotional opportunity or an opportunity that falls into a different field than your current, it’s not uncommon for others to wonder about your ability to succeed. Or, they could just not feel that they know you enough to put their reputation on the line.
- They’re applying for the same job. “It’s a small world after all. It’s a small world after all.” Job opportunities are limited. If you’re in the same field as the person you’re asking to be your reference, there is a chance that they are applying for the same position. While they probably want the best for you, it’s a conflict of interest for them to be a reference and your competition.
- They think it’s a legal liability. This is a common misconception. It’s wrong, but despite continued education it persists.
Best Case Scenario
- They don’t have the time. Being a good reference takes preparation. When you agree to be a reference your are committing yourself to preparing for a call at any time and taking that call in a timely manner. If the person is very busy and unable to commit the time for preparation and action then they won’t be a good reference. Nothing is more annoying for HR than having to leave multiple messages for your references.
- They don’t have the skills. In order to be a good reference the person needs to be as polished as you were during the interview. Some people may lack the skills needed to sell you. You can try and get around this by asking them to write a letter of recommendation or do a verbal rather than a written but HR may request a specific medium.
Having someone turn down your reference request hurts, but it won’t hurt as bad as not getting the job because you had the wrong people listed as references.
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