Already a member?
Welcome to Brazen Careerist!
Rich DeMatteo is using Brazen Careerist to share ideas. Join now to become a member and start networking with Rich DeMatteo and other professionals just like you. Learn more.
Rich DeMatteo is using Brazen Careerist to share ideas. Join now to become a member and start networking with Rich DeMatteo and other professionals just like you. Learn more.
Being shy can be a networking asset, you just need to know how to use it. Remember, the world craves balance. If networking events were made up of entirely extroverts, they would drive themselves crazy. Here are COTJ’s 5 networking tips for shy or introverted people:
1. Utilize Social Media – Begin networking first on Linkedin, Facebook, Myspace, or any web 2.0 destination that connects you to people with similar interests. Start building up your contacts/friends list, and build up your relationship with these people. Once you feel comfortable, invite them to join a networking event with you. This may help the lessen any intimidation you may feel of going it alone.
2 . Use being shy to your advantage - People absolutely love carrying on about themselves, so provide an ear for them to let loose on, and you’ll make a friend in the process. Don’t be intimidated by louder, extroverted net workers. They need you, and they know it. Just be yourself, be polite, listen, and sacrifice your ears over to the extroverts.
3 – Set networking goals - Make it your mission to talk to X amount of people and/or set a goal on how many events you’ll attend each month. If nothing else, just set your mind on having fun and enjoying each event. A positive mind set is critical.
4 – Know when to speak up - Lay low until a question surrounding your area of expertise is brought up. Once you feel confident, speak loud and clear. Keep it short and to the point, and you will look like a star.
5– Smile - Simple right? Not only does the upside down frown bring a look of confidence, but you’ll instantly become easier to approach as well. Heck, smiling may even force/trick you into having a good time. Not smiling can leave a negative impression that you’re intimidated, uncomfortable, uninterested (maybe the worst), tired, or just sociably awkward. I know this is weird, but just in case you honestly don’t know how to smile, click HERE TO LEARN.
Great topic Rich. Being more of an introvert myself, I've created a spreadsheet on excel with different degrees of separation, dates contacted and type of contact (phone, e-mail, in person, etc.). That form of discipline has helped me. I believe you have to be who you are & figure out what works for you. No formula works for everyone when it comes to networking (personally I like to call in "connecting" instead)
Good tips. As an introvert myself, I would also add--have a drink. Don't drink yourself silly, of course. Have just one--I like Redbull Vodkas for the energy boost. A little bit of alcohol definitely eases my nerves and helps me open up.
Very useful information! I am currently building a one stop information depot intended for use by newbies in the blogging world like myself to help us get our blog up and running less the trauma of "starter's pains". I will throw this one into the pot. Thank you so much.
Introverts often make good listeners, and having the ability to actively listen is important when it comes to networking.
Last one is really good. Introverts are so in their heads all the time, that they forget they're not smiling. I do this. A lot. It's simple, but it just brings the approachability notch up a bit.
These are great tips. And I really like this: "If networking events were made up of entirely extroverts, they would drive themselves crazy."
So true--and none of them would be listening to the others!
Another idea, inspired by #2 above: Don't think of yourself as shy. Tell yourself, "I'm a listener." That way you're playing to your strengths, not making yourself feel like that's somehow a weakness.
I think #4 is the best tip on that whole list.
There are a lot of people who speak on things that they have no idea about, if you just speak on things you have knowledge about no one will think you're a doofus - thus you'll actually gain some respect and friends.
Wow,everyone. Great comments.
Anna: Redbull Vodka is surely my favorite drink as well!
Ken: Thanks for thinking of my post!
Jason: agree with you 100%
Mehnaz: Smiling definitely helps. It's so simple, yet so critical for the approachability factor
Kate: Can you imagine how loud and annoying it would be if it was all extroverts! yikes. Also, great point about thinking as oneself as a listener.
Mr. Radio: I used to try to talk on anything I could, and possibly sounded like a "doofus" so i know what you mean. I really feel people should keep their mouth closed till they can sound like an expert!
Also, friends if you wouldn't mind. I'm a new blogger as of about a month ago. Everyday, I've added 1 or 2 new articles to my website. If anyone has some time, I'd love some constructive criticism from some friends on BC!
I respect your opinions, and would love to hear suggestions.
www.cornonthejob.com
Aweseome post, Rich. I love these tips.
I like a nice glass of wine beforehand!
Ive been sort of introverted all my life and I find that the internet allows you to be someone totaly different. (In good ways). These are great tips.
Hey Andrew, wine can certainly be a man's best friend!
Steve - thanks for the comment. The internet surely helps, and then at some point you can take that internet experience and apply it to a live group!
Oh I love this article. In person, I'm actually kind of shy. I can be outgoing, but at the same time I can be afraid to approach new people or to really network with people who I admire. Social media has been a godsend for me, and I have embraced it with my all. Through social media, I'm able to connect with some people I admire, though I may never have been able to do so in person!
Great article. I've been in a form of subtle sales all my life. I love back end work, but don't particularly feel in the mood all the time to be in front of people or deal with people. Social networking does help that some, but on the other hand, how does anyone get any work done filling their days with socializing! Catch 22 I guess.
Akhila - Thanks for your comment. Really appreciate your feedback.
Margaret - Good point. Chatterbox's usually find themselves staring at the clock 5 minutes before their shift is over wondering where the time went. People need to balance their extrovert side, and know when to just shush up and do work!
WOW! Nice tips, tnx for sharing :).
I have been introvert and the tips you have provided will help me to improve my skill sets. But the same time which i have noticed is person in physical and while introducing on internet is totally different character.
Very rich subject you spoke about in here .. congrats on your article ...
Even if some points are quite evident and "classic" , but I found myself not following some of them, so I'll consider your article a good reminder on how to approach social networking area.
PS: I like structured articles like this one, easy and effective.
keep up the good work.
Thank you for your tips. I learn something useful here!
# 3 point is valid point.The fruits of networking will not occur in one day, or a week or a month. One needs to make a plan and set daily goals to network for the long run. I created a networking system that I try to follow daily. It's called the "Big 5ive." Who are the 5 people who I need to e-mail, 5 people that I need to call, send a letter, a thank you card. Keep on doing these and never give up! If you must, take a short break, but keep the good fight of networking.
Mike, thanks fr the comment. Interesting big 5ive concept
If you are truly introverted, don't try to match extroverts in their networking results or techniques. Instead focus on your strengths, and realize that you may not ever acheive the number of contacts that your extroverted colleagues will. However, your contacts will more valuable to you.
I'm an introvert, but my particular personality type means that I have trouble with small talk. However, I can be very chatty and animated when talking about subject I am interested in. So I have resigned myself to the fact that my networking contacts will only be people interested in the same things I am, rather than a wide range of people.
Scott - great point.
Along with finding small talk that will be easy for you to talk about, does anything else help you?
Thanks! -rich
Really valuable points.. loved #1.
Great points. #2 and #5 can be combined. If your a good listener and inviting, then it increases the inclination to talk to you. Let's face it, just because you are a 'introvert' it doesn't mean you don't communicate.
Everyone is capable of the art of communicating.
@The Ability Project: Yes, everyone is capable of communicating, but not everyone is equal in deriving enjoyment from it, or finding it easy.
Good comments @TAP and @Scott. I believe that everyone CAN communicate effectively, but some don't know how to use their style to their advantage. Listening the entire time is important, but at some point speaking up and going after what you want is needed. A smile goes a long way, but I feel each of those 5 points is important for an introvert to succeed in networking.
Absolutely Rich. I've seen communicators that rarely talk, but they're input is highly valued. I agree, an introverted personality is simply a communication style that needs development - much like any other communication style.
Very good suggestions. As a shy and introverted person who has been in two careers that require lots of group time and focus-on-others time, my primary advice is this: make it about them. If you are introverted you do not draw your energy from the crowd or from others. You have to know that as you consider and approach networking. Your instinct will always be anti-network, anti-face-to-face. Base level anxiety can over come that, but the process will be excruciating. So, accept the fact that you are not the real point of your own networking. Network to get to know other people for their sake, to offer ways to connect other people for their sake, to find pleasure in the myriad ways people are trying to make it out there. Do that and you will have slain the number one most deadly stench of networking, the thing others can smell a mile away, and the thing from which others run unless they see their own selfish angle - and that is the stench of self promotion.
Email
Print
.thumbnail.jpg "Blake Sunshine")
