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It’s hard enough competing in a job market where there are more qualified candidates than there are open positions but what do you do when your biggest nemesis is another woman abusing you to get to the top?
According to the Workplace Bullying Institute-Zogby survey, women single out other women 71 percent of the time. Women bullies also liked to enlist others to help target and harass other women. Fifty-three percent of the women being targeted suffered serious mental and physical harm as opposed to the 36 percent of the men who were bullied.
A question was posted on LinkedIn Discussion forums asking why women were tougher on other women and 85 percent of responses I received point to women as being more competitive, insecure and more aggressive with other women than they are with men. Others responded to me in a private email, discussing their own experiences with female bosses and coworkers— one man even responded saying, “I don’t know why but I have found it to be absolutely true.”
While not all female workers fall into the bullying category and some LinkedIn responders even shared some stories of positive relationships with their women bosses, many still acknowledged that women-on-women harassment is a prevailing issue in the workplace.
“My experience with women bosses has been awful,” says Margaret P, a print production professional. “It is shameful that some women do not have the skill set to become mentors to other women. I have been considered a threat way too many times in my career. Funny, I've never had a man feel that way.”
So it begs the question, why can’t we all just get along?
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Comments
08.07.09
I have really only had this experience with Boomer women. I have often felt that they think there's only room for one girl in the board room. My female Xer colleagues (I'm an Xer) have been the best allies I've had in my career.
I haven't really worked closely with any Millennial women, but my hunch is that they would also be good allies.
08.07.09
I think that's probably because so many Boomer women were forging their way, and knew that there was only "so much room" for women--which for a long time was true, and not just their perception.
Competition can be a good thing when it leads to achievement, but it can also get in the way of alliances. I think a lot of us today are benefiting from the achievements of others, but are working to continue that while bringing more collaboration into the mix.
08.07.09
The biggest issue i've seen come up is that business often becomes personal when it comes to women. there doesn't seem to be a clear delineation in work-related vs personal attacks. Having worked with organizations that are only women, I see this more often than not.
Plus we know how to hold one hell of a grudge.
08.07.09
I think you are right to use the word "insecure." It is at the root of female bullying in the workplace. It's a shame women feel the need to prove themselves worthy in the workplace in 2009, but it's an even worse shame that they feel the need to step on other women to do so.
08.08.09
Thanks for reading. It's frustrating when some women don't realize the value in their female colleagues-- if we worked together, it would shake up the workplace quite a bit.
I posted a question on LinkedIn Discussion forums asking people for their opinions on why women were tougher on other women. In less than 2 hrs, I received a very nasty comment from a woman stating that my question was "bereft of research" and that I "had no right to ask" such a question.
When another woman posted a response to defend me for being a good reporter, the angry woman wouldn't hear of it, admitted to never having read my work, and refused to read anything I wrote.
After the article went live, she posted another nasty comment on my home page using swear words to describe my work.
Tough world we live in ladies. Is it any wonder why we're insecure?
10.08.09
In my experience, the women who were trying to find acceptance and entry into the "boys club" (particularly the insecure women) were the worst bullies. I learned a long time ago that entrance isn't a possibility. Women should support each other and create the tight-knit network men have used to their advantage for centuries. Instead, we-- and I use the "we" loosely-- try to cut each other off at the knees in hopes of advancement and acceptance.
I work in a non-traditional career. As an aircraft mechanic, women are far and few between. We're considered the 2%ers. It's shocking to be bullied by women on the job and to see it happen to others in my industry. I can't fathom behaving that way to other women in my field or elsewhere!
What I'd like to know is, how do you combat this kind of behavior in the workplace? Why don't women network with and support each other more? What's with the cattiness, ladies?
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