Brazen careerist
Where ambitious young professionals connect and grow
Email
Print
“I’m so sick of everyone that works here dating,” my coworker said.
His comment got me thinking: I was working with five couples that had all met through work! At the small grocery store where I’m employed, that’s about 20 percent of my coworkers.
Given the state of the economy, it seems natural that there would be a shift from meeting a person at a bar to meeting them at work. Going out is an expensive habit, and the next best alternative—online dating—is expensive too.
So why not get paid to see your boyfriend or girlfriend? It is definitely the cheapest and most profitable way to go. But there are some reasons I would avoid dating someone I work with.
You are annoying!
When I see a couple flirt and get into petty fights all day at work, it causes me to do additional work to pick up the slack. And of course, with that work ethic, I’m not going to be a fan of your workplace romance.
Co-workers who date one another need to consider keeping boundaries between their professional and personal lives. Even in the service industry where it is common for coworkers to socialize outside of work, keep your emotions at home.
You look pathetic!
I know a coworker that has dated two people that they met at work. Resorting to the same place to find a boyfriend or girlfriend is like double dipping a chip; nobody wants someone else’s leftovers! So why would you date another person you work with, someone that knows all about your previous relationship?
Granted, being attracted to coworkers are actually normal. Close-quarters syndrome leads you to develop feelings or approximate feelings for someone you share a significant amount of time in a limited amount of space with. This is settling, but … this is not real!
You’re limiting your own potential
I’ve seen many couples where I work get promoted over an individual that isn’t dating anyone in the company. This may be a coincidence, but it may also be because the boss knows that you will stay there as long as your significant other works there as well.
I mean, why would you want to leave a job that pays you to see your girlfriend or boyfriend every day? This makes me feel as if you will never attempt to find a better job, which may never allow you to reach your full potential.
Shrinking your network
Dating is a great opportunity to expand your network. You will meet people through your boyfriend and girlfriend, who will hopefully still be an acquaintance after you break up. When you date someone that you work with, both of you already know the same people that you work with, and you’re limiting your opportunity to expand your horizons and meet new people.
What are your thoughts on coworker dating? Would you ever want to date another “you”?
For more timely, relevant, and engaging articles,
subscribe to Brazen Careerist.
- The Anti-Stalker’s Guide for Converting Online Contact into Real World Collaboration
- Why You Might Be Better Off Without a Job After College
- Continuing Education: Extending Learning Beyond Your Campus Years
- A New Kind of Business Mover and Shaker
- How To Find a Writing Partner Who Can Help You Achieve Your Goals and Make More Money
Comments
07.31.09
I'm not big on dating in the workplace. There is no separation for me of work and life there. That, and if you break up, it could get ugly.
07.31.09
you can't help who you're attracted too. the workplace is a little but like high school- people date each other because it's convenient & you see each other all the time. but i definitely agree that there has to be a boundary between personal and professional relationships. i don't like seeing people make out in public and i definitely don't want to see it at work. work together & date, but leave the relationship at home.
07.31.09
good:)
08.02.09
Dipping the pen in company ink is a NO NO! I have done it in the past several times, and always blew up. Rumors, accusations.....NOt worth it!
08.02.09
:D
08.03.09
Have to disagree with your last point about shrinking the network. If your beau works in a different department (which is generally a good idea if you're going to be dating), then they still know plenty of people you don't.
Besides, who in their right mind (other than someone using the relationship to get ahead or perhaps gold digging) would choose someone to have a relationship with based on the number of new people they're going to bring into your network?
If you can both be professional and discreet about it I don't see a problem. In fact, from personal experience, I would say that there is more flirting and banter going on between workers who are attracted and NOT dating, than those who are (discreetly) together outside of work.
08.03.09
My significant other refuses to work where I work for another good reason not outlined here- job security! We are no longer living in one company towns where if there are layoffs your whole family could be out on the street. In the same way we diversify our portfolios, there's good financial reasons to diversify your industries and your specializations. I realize this doesn't work for everyone, but if you can help it it's probably a good idea.
08.03.09
Thank you for all of your comments!
Janey: I agree with your high school comment. Thank you for bringing it up!
Jason: That is another negative of workplace dating--break-ups! Thanks!
Cat: I work at a small grocery store...there aren't different departments! Everyone knows one another! Therefore, a shrinking network is a problem, but something that people don't think about!
Miles: Good point! Job security is another good reason not to date a coworker!
08.04.09
I have to say that I completely disagree. It sounds like you might work somewhere where your typical co-worker is young, probably college-aged. However, in many careers and with many companies, it's very common to meet your significant other through work. Whether it's someone you work directly with or just someone in your same line of work.
My boyfriend and I (of four years) met at work and have never experienced any of the things listed. We rarely see eachother because we're in different departments, we are not "annoying" because we're adults and we know where to draw the line (for the first year no one, besides our close friends at work, even knew we were dating - that's how professional we were.) I also have found that quite a few of the uppermanagement throughout my company, as well as some clients of ours, found their wife or husband through work.
The items you listed such as being overaffectionate or bringing fights into the workplace are definitely unacceptable. But if you are in a healthy relationship and you are both professional and mature enough to know the boundaries, it really shouldn't be a problem at all.
Got Something To Say?
Got Something To Say?
Not a Member? Brazen Careerist is a career management tool for next-generation professionals. Set up a free account today to comment on this post and start sharing your ideas. Learn more.
Login to view your networks!
 |
 |
|
|
|
