Be transparent, they say.

Not so fast.

First of all, business transparency (a must) is not the same as personal transparency.

We want to see what’s really going on at the places we are giving money to (or thinking about it). We don’t necessarily want to know what everyone is going through, unless they are (true) friends.

Second, and most important, there’s a backlash to individual transparency: you can’t be transparent about someone else.

You see where I’m going with this, right?

Transparency means talking about you.

Maybe you will say what matters or help people that are going through the same things that you are. Or maybe you’ll just be transparently self-centered.

Holly Hoffman is an example of transparency I agree with. Penelope Trunk is not.

You decide how transparent you should be.

But let’s skip the “it’s all about balance” argument. Extremes are much more common.

Bottom Line: You don’t need to open up to be transparent. Just don’t lie.