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My parents announced they were separating a few days after my eleventh birthday. By "parents", I mean my Mom. My Mom told us when she got home from work. She was supposed to wait til my Dad got home but she didn't. To this day I don't know why.
It was obviously a pretty lousy day. I remember my sisters and me crying a lot. I think I may have run off to my friend Erin's house for awhile and cried all over her Mom. Maybe that was something else.
But after my Dad came home an
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Comments
07.17.09
I'm so glad you wrote this article and so happy to hear this. A friend of mine's parents got divorced when we were freshmen in high school, and I remember tip toeing around her for a few days, unsure of what to say or do. The weirdest part for me was, after maybe a month, it was like nothing ever happened. And in her case, she told me she liked things better after the fact, because her parents did fight a lot when they were together and were a lot happier now that they were apart.
Whenever we hear about a divorce today and someone clucks their tongue or shakes their head, this friend of mine sighs loudly "Oh those poor divorced kids!"
Divorce itself isn't the end of a child's life. If his or her parents are really terrible about it - manipulative, nasty, etc - THEN the kid could be traumatized. But you're right: people either stay together, or they don't. No big deal.
07.17.09
Thank you for sharing your story. The more I read, the more I could relate! My parents divorced when I was 5, and I had to live between two houses. You quickly learn to adapt, but everyone else thinks your scared for life.
Coincidentally my parents are actually really good friends nowadays, they just couldn't be married to each other. We still have to deal with five Christmas gatherings and four Thanksgivings, plus juggling my boyfriend's side of the family, so needless to say the holidays are a little overwhelming. I still want to get married someday, I've just learned from my parents e what mistakes not to make in a marriage.
11.24.09
Great article, Lindsey! My folks are divorced and watching them split up and start their own new families was a tough thing to do (especially with my sister and me wondering where we would fit in).
Holidays are a balancing act and sometimes a power struggle. I now have step-siblings that have to coordinate with their other families to make sure we can all eat and celebrate at the same time. If one person gets selfish then the whole stack of cards comes falling down.
Now that my respective families live close to 50 miles away from each other, I spend a bulk of my holidays in the car going back in forth to make sure I'm at the right place to eat and then again to visit and to the traditional stuff. When it's all said and done, I'm exhausted and ready to be at my house.
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