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The best things come to those who ask. But exactly how you ask a contact for help affects your likelihood of success. And in fact, I’ve had people ask me things so inappropriately that I don’t respond even if I can in fact help them. Here are some best practices from the smart folks over at Stepcase Lifehack that I generally agree with:
Don’t overwhelm: There’s no cut-and-dry solution to this, unfortunately, but the rule of thumb is this. Initiate contact once, and then wait a week. If you don’t hear back, ping them again. If you don’t hear back after that one, it’s over. This keeps future options open because you haven’t harassed them until they can’t stand you anymore, but makes sure they didn’t just miss you the first time.
Show mutual benefit: Often, we tend to focus constantly on what we bring the table: our skills, background, education, etc. What many people ignore,however, is that many people just flat out like helping people. We all love
being the one who “gave them a chance when no one would,” especially when it turns into a success story. Don’t be afraid to talk about how what you’re asking for would benefit you, too.
Be direct: Odds are, the person you’re contacting doesn’t have tons of time to spare. So don’t waste it – get to the point. There are right ways and wrong ways to do this,
obviously, but don’t dance around an issue. A 13-paragraph email isn’t going to get read nearly as often as a two-paragraph email that says essentially the same thing. They’ll appreciate your effort and consideration of their time.
Be you: In talking to various employers, they’ve all said the same thing: the unique people get noticed. Most people, frankly, do exactly the same thing, in the same format, without any personality or interest. So be you, and let your personality affect what you say and do.
Ask not what they can do for you: When you contact someone, don’t ask anything from them. Don’t say “please get in touch,” or “call me back,” or anything like
that. Instead, ask them what you can do – who can you get in touch with? What can you do to get the ball rolling? Put the onus for action on yourself – the less the other person has to do, the more likely they are to do it. And odds are, they’ll do something to help you out anyway.
What are some other great tips you've heard lately?
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Comments
07.13.09
Hey Alexandra,
This post is great because I have been doing a lot of asking lately :)
I'm learning that being direct is probably the most important. I stumble pretty hard on sales calls when I beat around the bush. This requires confidence. Not only in yourself, but in the product/offering you're trying to sell.
-RP
07.13.09
Alexandra, I love the last point there. We often put the ball in other people's courts, though we're the one doing the asking. Good point on being the action taker.
another good tip is don't ask when you're down to the wire. A lot of people have this "I need it yesterday" habit. If it's something that's going to take time or somehow require the person to do some work on your behalf, ask ahead of time. Nothing worse for a relationship than springing things on people. It's just courteous of their time and priorities.
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