Growing up we have always been pressured to have goals and finish them in a timely manner. The problem is defining how much time does timely manner imply. What is the meaning of these time frames and why should it mean anything to you?

Growing up we have always been pressured to have goals and finish them in a timely manner. The problem is defining how much time does timely manner imply. It means different things to different people, does it not? What is it really? Graduating high school at 18? Graduating college at 22? Getting married by 26? Having your first child by 28? Retire at 65? What is the meaning of these time frames and why should it mean anything to you?  

It's no secret that everyone is pressured throughout their lives, directly or indirectly, to follow this unspoken timeline or some variation of it. After all society expects it of you, your family gets disappointed if you don't, and best of all the statistics back it up. Again, I ask you, what does any of it have to do with you?

This is something I've struggled with most of my life. In high school I was placed into an accelerated program that granted me a semester of college credit. Because of that, my impatience, and my belief that it was best to stay ahead (for what, to this day I still can't explain) I graduated undergraduate at the ripe age of 20. I was moving faster than warp speed, half-assing everything (and structural integrity was compromised. I'm a Trekkie, can't you tell!). I was moving so fast I didn't have time to sit back and figure out WHY I was doing all this and WHAT I was trying to acheive for myself. 

Sure, it felt great to listen to my family boast with pride that I had all my stuff together for about 10 minutes after I crossed the stage to receive my degree. It felt great knowing that I'm finished (at least temporarily) with cramming for exams and writing an endless amount of papers and lab reports. But after that it hit me like a ton of bricks that I'm left to face the truth I've ignored all along: I don't really know myself too well. And I no longer had any books to hide behind.

Which is why Jonathan's post over at The Change Blog really struck a chord with me. The best way to make your dreams a reality is to forget about them.

Not literally, of course. Jonathan emphasizes movement towards a dream or goal, but blindsighted ambition to complete a goal just to complete it will cause you to miss the entire point of achieving that dream or goal in the first place. It all made so much sense to me because it all comes back to these pre-ordained timelines that really (no, really!) have absolutely nothing to do with you! There's nothing wrong with wanting to graduate college, get married, have kids, retire young, or whatever goal you'd like to achieve. It's just not so important exactly WHEN you achieve them as much as it is HOW you get there, WHAT you got along the way, and understanding WHAT you get from it. The goal of having $100,000 in savings by 30 is an amazing goal. But once you reach that goal, then what? Were you so focused on seeing those six numbers in your bank account that you hadn't thought about why you wanted it, what it means to you, what you could do with it, and what you learned along the way?

It explains why people who are so intent on winning the lottery, that when they finally do, are likely to squander it all (and then some). And that's just the tip of the iceberg, but my name isn't Google. But my point is: this is a blatant lack of awareness. The money, once achieved, has no value to many lottery winners because they don't know what it means to earn it or manage it. They have never seriously thought about why they wanted it other than reasons given to them subconsciously by the media or because they believed money equals happiness. Never mind the fact that rich people are just as likely to be unhappy as poor people. This can be applied to anything but money is the first thing that comes to mind because it's so important to so many people.

I've realized that a lot of my worries have to do with me comparing myself to others and agonizing that I am not where I should be in life (despite the fact that I'm still very young). If I've learned anything in the past year it's that slow and steady wins the race. While I do need to survive and pay bills, for me it's become more important to gain better awareness of myself. Regardless of what I do, I try my hardest not to let my goals get in the way of living in the present and becoming happy with myself internally. It's no easy feat since I could hardly be called a patient person. But I know I'm a work in progress and that I will ALWAYS be, so¦ what is the rush?