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“We’re our own dragons as well as our own heroes, and we have to rescue ourselves from ourselves.” – Tom Robbins
We spend a lot of time in life waiting for others to rescue us from situations that we don’t like. Like a small child, we look around at the people in our life and wait for them to do something for us, to help us out of the circumstances we have found ourselves in.
Maybe it’s the stories we read while growing up, or simply the memory of the reliance we once had on our parents or other adults in our lives. But whatever it is, it’s tempting to sit around and hope that one day someone else will come and rescue us.
What we don’t realize is that we always have the power to rescue ourselves and, in fact, are put in situations in the hopes that we will come to this understanding.
When I had finished my master’s degree and was finally finished with school I had a lot of choices to make about the direction I wanted my life to take. Only, the thing is, I wasn’t really making them.
I needed a job, and more importantly to start a career, but I felt ambiguous about the jobs I was applying for and even the field that I had graduated in. I needed money, but without a job I had none, and without money I had no apartment. I was living back at home, with no job and little money, and to top it all off, in the last year, a long-term relationship with a boyfriend had ended. I didn’t feel very good.
But, the worst part was, I was waiting for a rescuer. Waiting for someone to swoop in and solve the problems I had. That would have made my life easier and I wouldn’t have had to figure it all out myself. So I waited and waited, and the situation became more and more uncomfortable.
And then I realized that no one was coming.
In this moment of mild despair, however, was the realization that I could rescue myself. When I stopped waiting around for the “easy” rescue, in a funny way, my life actually got easier.
I had to figure out how I was going to get around my own problems, and that was certainly harder than sitting around, but things started to happen that I wanted, and that made my life easier.
I got a job that wasn’t perfect, but a good first job. Then I had money (not that much, but enough to live) and soon after that I had an apartment. Life was looking up.
Recognize Your Own Power – When you wait around for a rescuer you give away your own power. Take back your power by recognizing that you are the only one with the solutions to your problems (not that you can’t ask for help – that’s a solution in itself). You can handle anything that comes your way.
Use Courage - Courage is taking action in the face of fear. You will (should) have fear as you rescue yourself from whatever dragon has crossed your path. But remember, dragons serve a purpose too – they test us in ways that bring the best out of us. Don’t fear the dragon, fear what will happen if you don’t face the dragon. You are prepared for the dragon, even if you don’t think so.
Have Faith – Sometimes you will have little else. When you are standing upon a ledge and it’s a long way down, sometimes the best thing to do is to jump. You may be surprised at how soft your landing is.
Trust Yourself – You know best how to get to where you want to be. You just have to figure out where that is. The rest tends to unfold after that.
The next time that you find yourself hoping to be rescued, remember – You are the hero.
Thoughts? Ideas? Share them in the comments!
I really liked this post. I just moved to a ocmpletely new city 1300 miles from my home because I needed to take control. I could have sat and waited for a job to come in my home town, but I wouldn't have been happy. Sometimes I just need to realize I can do things for myself rather than waiting for others to do them for me. Thanks for sharing!
Bravo. You are so right that the only person who can move your dreams forward is you, and that the best person to look after yourself is you. As a former recruiter, I still get jobseekers who come to me thinking I can somehow find them a job, sometimes even a career or life purpose. I may have ideas. I may have leads. I definitely have opinions and a perspective. But they need to retain control of their search and therefore their destiny. Only you will know yourself that well and care that much.

Strong post and great personal example. I've been there--having no idea what to do next and wishing there was some magic wand or a fast-forward button to the future. I agree that sometimes you just have to take steps in what seems to be the right direction and do the best you can (and that small action builds momentum for greater action).
(Awesome Tom Robbins quotation, too.)

Hi Kelsey - Congratulations and good luck! Sometimes it seems easier to wait around, although, really I think that's harder. Hope everything turns out for the best. :)
Hi Caroline - "Only you will know yourself that well and care that much." Absolutely - it's not that other people don't want you to do well, it's just that they can never want it as bad as you want it. You have to take it into your own hands.
Hi Melinda - Right, and as children it's appropriate to believe that other people will help you out. But I guess we all have to go from being the "rescued" to the "rescuer."
Hi Abbie - I was very happy to find that quote :) Thanks. There is definitely no magic wand - and I was better off when I stopped looking for one!
This isn't really new:
http://www.amazon.com/Cinderella-Complex-Womens-Hidden-Independence/dp/0...
Published in 1981.
But what about those women who WANT to be rescued and make it clear that this is what they want?
Instead of focusing on what I had done professionally in the past, I focused on what I wanted to do in the future. More...
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