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“There are no jobs here” is reverberating through my head. Those five words are killing me slowly.
Now, to be clear, this is something I heard in my dream last night. Whether or not it’s true, I don’t know. And the fact that I’m dreaming about work-related stuff is kind of creeping me out, but I digress. I woke up feeling a bit panicked.
What if it’s true? Chances are, it is. With this economy ::cringing::, who knows? I hate saying that, because I’m the girl that moved away from a well-paying job to pursue her career, despite the economy. Over a thousand miles away from everything that is comfortable, jumped into a lease for a year in a city I’ve visited once, I’m that girl. That girl that believed if she didn’t dream it, it wouldn’t happen. Was I overly ambitious? Did I think that I have more to offer than I really do? Was I blind jumping into this?
I am so loving every single second of adjusting to this new life. It’s exciting. It gets me up in the morning. But what if it doesn’t work out? I’ve been so focused on believing that it would, that I don’t think I took the time to assess how much it’s going to suck if I have to go back to bartending.
So, what can I do? Just keep working hard, I guess. Keep learning. Stay enthusiastic.
WAKE UP SYDNEY.
I moved here for a reason. Everything that has happened, how my life is coming together, is happening for a reason. One dream (or should I say, nightmare) isn’t going to shatter the hopes that I have for myself here. I’ve worked tirelessly to get to where I am sitting right now and I’ve looked at every angle possible.
Until then, I’ll do exactly what I said above, work hard, learn as much as possible and stay enthusiastic.
Self-doubt is probably just a part of the process. But instead of dwelling in it, I’m squashing that thought as soon as it came to mind. No need to have negativity bearing down. And, I can use that nightmare as a little fire to get in gear for whatever this week, and the weeks ahead may bring.
What’s next? I’ll keep you posted.
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Comments
07.07.09
That self doubt is natural and although oscillating, is sometimes good to feel. It keeps me motivated. You did take a big risk, but many people have been relocating in this economy...some succeed, some fail but either way we all learn from it and experience something that you wouldn't have if you just stayed where you were comfortable and had lived for a long time. Failure is a relative term, because there is always something to be learned from a mistake.
At least, that's how I look at it. I think the adventure is a fun ride :) I look forward to hearing more of yours!
07.07.09
Someone once said to me, that if you don't take a risk, nothing bad can happen to you. Nothing good can happen either.
It's tough, with this economy. But the closer you are to where you want to work, the more chance you have of actually gaining something from it.
Keep at it!
07.07.09
Sydney you're right, you need to squash that self-doubt. Recently I've been learning more about the "laws of attraction" and the best suggestions I would give is to stay positive, use the community as a way to vent and find help, and stay focused. It's worked wonders for me in the past week alone.
Sometimes you go through hell just to get to heaven. It's a process to get what you want and you'll get there with persistence and dedication. You did the right thing by pursuing your dreams. But every dream comes at a cost, though the costs will never be higher than the dream itself if it's the right dream for you.
07.07.09
Self-doubt is normal - see it, acknowledge it, learn, and move on.
Also remember no matter what you have a say in what happens - life is organic and alive, it's not a dead machine clanking forward unadjustable. You can keep changing and adapting to get where you want to be - and change things that happen.
07.07.09
So Syd, I'm not going to be the one to fluff you up and say hey even if things don't work out you will have learned something. Because you know what - that may be true for some people. But not YOU. Do you remember what I told you your tagline on your business card should be? "This girl makes *stuff* happen!"
I have NO doubt in my mind that, if you do hear those 5 words (because of who you are!) you will be on to the next big and greater deal. I have faith because I've seen what you can do.
Sidenote: I was deciding whether to leave this comment on your personal blog or on Brazen and I decided that the Brazen folks who don't already know you, should hear what a trailblazer you are!
07.08.09
Syd, you're right. Thanks for some great words of encouragement.. It really helps at a time when you feel empty.
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