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(Or Bold is beautiful)
It feels like long-nails sliding down a blackboard when I think about how some people go out of their way – way out – in order to not disturb others. Yes, I cringe at the thought that there are some who tip-toe through life, hoping to make as little noise as possible, to be noticed as little as possible, asking for permission and apologizing.
That said, I did not write this post to promote rudeness, loudness, or obnoxiousness. It`s about turning on the volume on those who walk around with the mute button pressed.
Taking up more space is about joining and contributing to the conversation.
So how do you come into living out your full size?
- Develop your own opinion. (For the record, expressing your own opinion is not about being a contrarian for the sport of it.) You may find that you agree with others a lot of the time. But please arrive at that conclusion AFTER thinking things through. Learn to use your own filters. Trust them.
- Speak up. Learn to share your thoughts and opinions in a non-threatening way. A successful entrepreneur said to me once: “the truth is not contained inside a single point of view – it’s the sum of multiple opinions.” Contribute to the truth.
- Ask for forgiveness (only if it’s absolutely necessary). Next time that you feel tempted to ask for permission to do something, STOP. Ask yourself if you`re doing so out of politeness or fear. If it`s the latter, take action. If later on you find out that your actions trespassed someone else`s space, make it a point to learn from the experience.
- Seek to live your own truth. When you express your needs and defend your limits, you`re making way for an honest exchange with those around you. Communicating to others where you stand, makes way for collaboration.
- Say that you`re sorry once…once. Saying sorry ad nauseum is not polite. It`s annoying. When you make a mistake, take ownership (apologize if it`s absolutely called for), and for everyone’s sake, move on – and pronto!
- Drop self-imposed grudges. When you assume that others know what`s on your mind, particularly when it comes to your needs, you`re risking not getting your needs met. Then does it make sense to hold a grudge towards someone because you feel they have not given you what you want – when in the first place you have not been clear about your needs?
- Walk down the middle. (Do so symbolically and literally) When you walk into a room, even if you don`t think so, pretend that your presence is necessary. Let others know that you arrived. Walk down the middle - and introduce yourself.
So go on, spread out. Be bold and beautiful.
Photo credit: Peterastn
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Comments
06.29.09
great post! I think you made some excellent points about finding the balance between "walking around with the mute button pressed" and being obnoxious.
06.29.09
Thanks Kelsey...great observation about knowing the difference between asserting oneself and alienating others in a world where colaboration is key.
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