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I have commitment issues.
And, not just any kind of commitment issues – I have girlfriend problems.
Problem: Girls hate me
I don’t make it easy for them – I am kind of a brat. If you do something I don’t like, all communications cease and desist. Yet, I don’t too well if you dish out the same kind of silent treatment towards me.
I don’t call and I forget your birthday. I don’t do slumber parties or shopping. I’ll tell you if your ass looks fat in jeans.
Like I said, I have issues. But, I’ve gotten better…I think.
I sporadically check Facebook pages of friends long past, slightly envious of relationships that have blossomed in my absence.
I beat myself up for being myself. Then, it’s time to remember all the things I vowed I’d never do again.
Afterwards, dooming myself to repeat the same mistakes bit by bit when I get the chance. So growing up and all the maturity stuff is about moving on and all that other sentimental bullcrap you read in a Hallmark card.
The childish part of me wants to wallow in the pity party of being girlfriendless and or mourn that as of writing this post – all my friends live (or will live) in different states.
I don’t want to grow up because it’ll just remind me of how much work I have left to do. I don’t want to move on because I rather work on something beyond repair even though I know there are some places you can’t go again.
So, I’m giving up on this one. I’m asking a high power to step in. I need a divine intervention because that’s the only thing I’ve got going for me now.
Hallelujah.
Photo Credit: Wicked @Flickr
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Comments
06.29.09
Here's the problem I've seen most about not wanting to grow up:
Life tends to force you into situations where you have to grow up in order to get things done in your life. The more you resist growing up, the harder things become and the more ridiculous you look. And let's face it, while a youthful attitude is wonderful as you grow older, middle-aged adolescence is not a pretty sight.
06.29.09
@jrandom42
What a great way to look at things. As I've gotten older, I've been in my fair share of "Grow up or shut up" situations. It's refreshing to be reminded that being a kid is not always the best alternative.
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