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We’ve all had days when we wake up on the wrong side of the bed. Nothing goes right, and we’re stuck in a funk. It’s like we have a dark cloud following us around with the constant threat of rain. These are the days when life just sucks.
There are certainly times when we’re truly going through hell, dealing with the tough stuff and totally within our right to feel sadness and despair (to a point of course). But, what about the rest of the time? I’ll be the first to admit that there have been times I’ve wallowed in self pity for no reason at all. A few little things go wrong, and the funk descends. You can probably see the negative energy I’m emitting.
In my more mature moments, I force myself to stop and think about what’s going on and how I’m reacting to it. Am I making a big deal out of nothing? Have I started a domino effect by responding so strongly to the first “bad” thing that happened? This, my friends, is called perspective. It’s so easy to use, and yet we don’t use it enough, because it’s probably easier to wallow. Try this:
1) Think about what’s bothering you. Force yourself to answer honestly: Are you making a big deal out of something small?
2) Ask yourself, will your stewing, brooding, and general grumpiness contribute in any way to solving the problem?
3) Have your negative vibes infiltrated every part of your life? What kind of impact are they having?
4) Take a deep breath, and put the situation in perspective. Consider this: It could always be worse.
If you need help with the perspective part, here’s a story for you: On Saturday, I was watching TV with my dad when he got a phone call. It was the answering service at the temple (he’s a rabbi), and someone had left a message about a family who was in the emergency room and asking for a rabbi. Several calls later, it was midnight, and he was on his way to the hospital. He arrived to find a 20-year-old boy lying face down on a couch in the waiting room. There had been a car accident earlier that evening involving the boys’ parents. His father had died and his mother was in critical condition, and it wasn’t looking good. Twenty years old, an only child, his life changed in an instant. He lost his father the day before father’s day. I don’t know what ended up happening to his mother, but doctors told my dad she’d lost a lot of blood, so I can only imagine.
Life isn’t perfect. Sometimes it can really suck. But, it’s so important to remember that life itself is a gift. You are alive and that is a beautiful thing. Whatever is going on in your life, no matter how difficult it may be, it could always be worse. Don’t wait until something horrible happens in your life to realize this. It’s okay to be sad sometimes, in fact, it’s healthy. You can stick your toes in the waters of sorrow as long as you don’t drown. Stop worrying so much about the long term. Take a look around and be grateful for what you have today.
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Comments
06.24.09
Wow touching story to put life into perspective. I've been in a funk lately myself, and its amazing how realizing that it could be worse snaps us back into the reality of the situation.
Case in point: My neighbors granddaughter has been battling cancer for the past 3 years; she's now 12. Through a hospital program, they've been blogging about her progress, set backs, triumphs, new clinical trials she's in, even the horse camp she helped start for kids like her. Just last week I got a startling blog update that she's taken a turn for the worse, the cancer has spread extremely rapidly, and she was given 2 weeks to live.
Everyone is devestated, even my own roommate who has never met the girl or her grandparents, is just heartbroken over her situation. 12 years old with no hope left, but so much life left to experience.
06.24.09
Jen: Unfortunately, that tragic story is another reminder of just how precious life is, and how quickly it can be taken away. That's why we can't take a single moment for granted. Thanks for sharing your neighbor's story. I'm so sorry, and I hope her family will eventually find peace.
06.24.09
It's interesting, I've always found that saying "it could be worse" is actually more useful externally rather than internally.
What I mean is that it keeps me from sounding like I am whining to other people (the external part) rather than making me actually feel better about my current situation (the internal part).
Because you can't really appreciate how bad it can get for you until it really get's bad for you.
It's a useful check on my behavior, rather than a comfort. And I guess that is useful after all.
It also makes me a little more understanding (up to a point) of people who complain about seemingly minor things, because I realize that maybe they just haven't experienced much hardship in their life.
06.24.09
True, it could always be worse. But that doesn't mean, on its own, that you don't have genuine issues in your life. It helps to have perspective, but don't let that morph into repression and denial.
06.24.09
@Scott: Thanks for sharing your thoughts. I know it's hard to put things into perspective before something actually happens to us, but I guess what I was trying to say with this post is that we should really try. It may be a challenge, but it's worth it if it means we won't have any regrets down the line.
@Kate: I agree completely. Like I said, it's okay to be sad sometimes, in fact, it's healthy, we just can't let that sadness take over our lives. I definitely understand that people have genuine issues, and I'm certainly not suggesting repressing your feelings about them. I know from experience that it may take a while for you to get to a point where you can step back and look at the situation, but it's important to get to that point eventually.
06.24.09
@Samantha, I agree that it's the balance that's important: addressing your own problems while getting a big picture.
06.24.09
Samantha, great post. Sad, but a great reminder altogether.
I once had a choir conductor who told us that there is always someone a little better off than you, and there is always someone a little worse off than you. So really, it's just a lesson to work harder when you need to, and to remember that it could be worse.
I heard a great saying yesterday: "Enjoy when you can, Endure when you must"...
06.24.09
@Mehnaz: Working hard is definitely important too, and I like that saying. The word "endure" has a negative connotation, but I think there are some positive aspects to it as well. Enduring takes courage, determination, and strong will. If we can just endure, we'll be able to enjoy again soon. Great to hear your thoughts!
06.25.09
"Things could be worse." And just as someone verbalizes this, is when things really start falling apart, in accordance to Clark's Corollary to Murphy's Law, which states, "Murphy was an optimist".
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