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Posted On 06.22.09

As a single young woman, I feel that my career options are pretty limitless. I am willing to move wherever I need to for my employment. I enjoy moving, and the freedom that comes from being young, single, and free. And I believe that my extreme flexibility helps my career prospects.

However, living in the Midwest, I am feeling more and more like an anomaly. And I am worrying, looking at the women who are successful around me, that having a family, and having a career, are almost inconsistent.

Furthermore, as I look around, my friends are getting married and starting families. I must admit that I have a small amount of fear, that I will die alone, and unhappy. But I have a greater fear, that I will settle and not meet my full potential.

About a year ago, I had a medical scare. For a moment, I really thought that I would be unable to have children. I had a moment of crisis, because I realized that perhaps the decision to be a mother, and to have my own children, had been taken from me. The "scare" made me really think about the choices I am making, and where I want to be in regards to my personal life. I realized that I have no direction, or motivation, for anything beyond my professional life and my current family and friends. I don't know if this is a good thing. I don't know if, twenty years down the line, I will regret this.

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GenerationXpert
June 22, 2009 8:48 am

I'm a mom. I'm a successful career woman. And I live in the midwest. It's possible. You don't have to give up yourself and your career to be a mom - and you don't have to give up your family to have a career. Will the childless single people have some advantage at work? Probably. Will the stay-at-home moms get to run the PTA? Probably. Doesn't mean it has to be all or nothing.

Cara
June 22, 2009 11:00 am

Wherever you are in life, it's where you need to be. Believe me, take the time to enjoy each and every experience to the fullest before you start thinking about settling down. I got married at 33 because I didn't want to settle and I found the best husband in the world. Every woman goes through a period in her life when she thinks she will be alone forever-you are not alone. When marriage and babies happen it should happen when it's right not because of anything else!

GenXMom
June 22, 2009 12:19 pm

Of course marrying the wrong man, and quickly having children, is a recipe for disaster.

But it's also true that you have to make room in your life for love to happen. If you are working 80 hours a week and wouldn't consider dating anyone you share those 80 hours with, or you are constantly relocating or travelling, it's very difficult to meet someone and fall in love.

Don't be too busy to get to know the people around you, and meet their friends, too.

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