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How did you know you were ready to become a mom? Did something just switch on? I’ll be honest and say I don’t know that I was ready to be “wife” until 1.5 years into our marriage. The intent was there but to really step into it? Only happened recently LOL And I’m ok with that, we all live, love and grow.
Did you plan everything around your pregnancy? Anything? Timing?
Was your pregnancy something you looked forward to?
You all know I am trying to plan this thing down to the second I go into labor and even then I’m asking the OGBYN to have an Epidural ready as soon as I get wheeled into Labor and Delivery! LOL *prick* *euphoria*
So how did you know you were ready to become a mom and was it something you’d always looked forward to?
I question how ready i am emotionally to become a mom. Everything seems to be in place-husband, marriage, house, finished with grad school and so the next logical phase seems to be motherhood. But Im just not quite there yet as I still have some things to get out of my system. I feel some sorta way for not following the prescribed social time line but I’m moving through it.
Since my last post about our time line it has since changed. We’ve now decided to just wait to see the outcome of my application to the doctoral program and then take it from there.
There’s also the physical and emotional demands of being a mother that Im kinda not sure I’m ready to take on. Right now I enjoy being able to leave on a moment’s notice for a getaway weekend or not have to worry about dropping baby weight. I’m not there yet where Ive come to accept those sacrifices as part of my life. And, you know while Im OK with it, I still feel some sorta way.
Why?
Well, I feel like my friends and family accept these changes and well uhmm I dont. I am very much a planner with regards to every aspect of my life. I have to know who, when, where why and how and I think having a child brings along with it a certain level of unpredictability that I am not ready for at this stage in my life.
So how did you know you were ready? Please tell me there’s a switch some where?
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Comments
06.17.09
I don't think anyone is ever really ready - because you just don't know what you are getting into when you first stop using birth control. Will you I get pregant right away, or have trouble? Will I miscarry? Will the baby be healthy? Will the birth be awful? How am I ever going to take care of a baby without losing my mind!!
You don't get any of the answers ahead of time; you're forced to jump in blind.
And then, you know, I sort of got my sea legs and now I have these two individual, wonderful little girls in my life and I'm their mommy and we love each other. I have a job and they have school and their dad takes care of them, too. There are activities and holidays and the flu, but it all works out and it's wonderful.
I wish you the best!
06.17.09
This seems like a post that more women will comment on, but allow me to give you some perspective from the male standpoint. I'm 29 - I have a four year old and a one year old daughter, which means I was 25 when my first was born. I was like you, planned everything. My wife and I would have a casual call and decide to go have a drink after work; Ok, We will meet here, have dinner here, be home by this time to catch the show I want to watch...blah blah blah. Couples will never be "READY" to be parents, you just plan to start a family and go. And the number one lesson I learned when our first girl was born is that you can't be a planner. Hard step for me, yes. Still hard sometimes. Luckily we live in a work environment that the simple email which states "At home with a sick child, call my cell if you need me" warrants no negative impact on anything (Well, almost anything). My wife and I always use to plan stuff - having kids broke us of that mentality and I couldn't be happier. You never plan to wake up at 2am because your daughter didn't quite make it to the potty and peed on the bathroom floor - which makes her cry uncontrollably because her world just crashed down. But you wipe it up and tell her it was an accident, and you know what, that's the cool thing about being a parent - someone looks at you like you are their whole world and that you can fix anything - tell me where else you can find that?
06.17.09
I knew I was ready for my second one but we didn't plan to have another for another year. Being ready and planning to have one are two different things. As long as you have a great partner who understands the committment and shares in the wonder of the event, then everything else kind of falls into place. Finances have to be good too but with kids, you find all kinds of strength and possibilities that you would have never even thought of before. You could never plan for everything when it comes to motherhood but it doesn't hurt to have a template.
06.20.09
I felt very much the same way you do now for a long time. I knew I wanted to have kids, but wondered if I would ever really feel ready. The whole "biological clock" scenario actually happened for me. Suddenly something changed out of the blue, and I was more ready than I could have imagined. Now I'm 5 months pregnant, and, while still scared out of my mind about how exactly I'm going to handle being a mom, I'm so excited for the big change that's about to happen in my life.
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