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A football player. A fire fighter. A ballerina, doctor, politician, lawyer, or President of the USA.
We all had our answer. To the question. Concerning some far off world. Where all our dreams and talents converged into the rest of amazing adult lives.
When my Aunt asked me about Future Adult Paul, I confidently told her I was going to play professional baseball. For the Colorado Rockies. But I was a bit of a realist even then. So I had a Plan B. If baseball didn’t work out, I told her I planned on winning the lottery. She laughed. And laughed. And laughed.
What was so funny?
Then college comes and goes. And you realize. You start figuring the odds. You see how many people want the same dream. How many people can dance more gracefully, swing the bat better, solve the problem quicker. Your Aunt asks again. This time at your graduation party. You don’t know what to tell her.
“So what do you do?” It’s our conversation starter. Our flint. We hope it sparks a picture of this person. What job is you? A tough answer when your job, or lack of job, is any thing but.
But is this even the right question?
What are we going to be when we grow up? Not what are we going to do, what profession are we going to follow or keep on following, what niche are we going to occupy in the order of things. But are we going to be - inside ourselves and among ourselves? Fredrick Buechner
We are obsessed with doing. What about our being? Apart from any label, any name tag you might slap across your chest. In whatever space you occupy, who will you be?
Who will I really be?
Huh, good question.
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June 11, 2009 8:57 am
As I grow older I think that this is a linguistic exercise to get kids to learn professions :-) (well, it's a working theory anyway).
I graduated, I have had a number of different professional jobs (both as a undergrad, grad and now as a post-grad) and I still don't have an answer to "what I want to be when I grow up"...as far as profession goes.
I want to be happy - the what-I-do-to-pay-the-bills aspect will be figured out on the fly
June 11, 2009 10:26 am
I wrote a blog post on this awhile back, and the short version for me is I don't want to be anything other than myself. It's taken me almost 48 years to figure out that I'm okay with just being me. I can do lots of things, but they don't define who I am underneath all the layers of protection that the public sees. I hate the idea of labels, and of putting myself into a box that others have defined. But then again, I hate the idea of having to grow up too. :)
June 11, 2009 10:54 am
I really like this post because it makes me think of how I would like to use the realist approach to raising my kids. I never really had an answer to that question of what will you be but I will say that your revised question is way more relevant. I'm actually trying to figure out who I will be now and see how I can fit the whole what I will be question in. Its all about balance I guess but I will be teaching my children that its not what you are but who you are that matters most. Nicely done!
June 11, 2009 11:04 am
That is a very good question and reframing of the original one. In theory, "who will I really be" should lead you to what you're going to do.
June 11, 2009 11:34 am
I love this topic because the answers to "Where do you see yourself in 10 years" and "What do you want to be when you grow up" are vastly different for many. It is also interesting to listen to people who identify themselves by who they are vs. by what they do.
June 11, 2009 3:34 pm
Perhaps these articles allow us to relive our childhood ambitions.
I wanted to be a train driver when I was a kid it soon turned into a fighter pilot. Where I am today is not even near to what I wanted to become. But I still wanted to become a fighter pilot. Granted one wish I want to see earth from the outer space.
The phrase "When we grow up" could still be relative right? We all still have time to pursue what we really wanted to do.
June 11, 2009 4:20 pm
I am still "growing up" so to speak. what we are, and what we become is so variant on the phase of life we are in.
as children we think: ballerina, doctor, pilor
As adults that changes to: happy, successful, healthy.
It's all a matter of perspective. perhaps we should raise our kids to want to be happy and healthy...that will turn into what they'll do as well.
June 11, 2009 11:15 pm
Beautiful. I like this post, especially with the added quote from Fredrick Buechner.
I think Buechner's reference to "being" is similar to the "Self-Actualization" part of Maslow's Hierarchy.
I think self actualization is something that requires a certain amount of information(living and experiencing). We're all different and the more information we retrieve, the better will be at discovering "who we want to be".
It's like gathering ingredients to bake a pie.
=]
We all want to be a yummy pie--- don't we?
June 13, 2009 5:25 am
I have been a classical pianist, banker, consultant, executive recruiter, actor, life coach, corporate HR director, real estate investor, career coach and now a combination of entrepreneur, career/ life coach, actor and real estate investor (in addition to mom, wife, sister, volunteer, etc). I don't intend to be one thing, and I encourage my clients not to think that way. Already we are all multiple-faceted by being children and/or parents, siblings perhaps, whatever job title we happen to have at the moment, volunteers, members of this or that, bloggers and writers, etc. We are already not what we do (which often just refers to a single job) but an amalgam of all that we do and are.
June 14, 2009 5:16 am
I always wanted to start my own business and help other people succeed in life. I finally started on my own. Turns out this dream takes more patience than I ever imagined. Still dreaming ...
June 15, 2009 10:25 pm
My entire blog is based on the premise of being. The job, the car, the house, the materialism, all that doesn't define us. It's us that define it.
Each of us gets a vote, simply because we live, be, and are. Whether you choose to be vegetarian, pro-life, anti-war, that all makes a difference. Setting an example gives others reason to follow. "Growing up" is so outdated now. I know teens who excel at programming, math, science and build companies from scratch. Are they grown up? It's debatable. The definition comes from you, not some societal benchmark.
I love posts that get me ranting...errr thinking. Thanks!
June 18, 2009 11:05 am
You are the man! Thank you for writing so earnestly and honestly with such humor. Keep on posting - these are my favorite articles on B.C.
July 27, 2009 3:58 am
More to the point, for me at least, when did we grow up, who decides if they are grown up? Just because you do all the school stuff, get the job, is that enough to decide if you are grown up? Life keeps changing, and it is hard enough to keep up with the changes let alone decide on how things should go.
Things don't work out how you plan them always and you need to have choices and options and be able to change with the things that change.
My 2 cents worth!
Cheers
Adirec
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Grad School Zone
UVA (Darden) MBA Admissions Deadlines for 2010-2011
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The University of Virginia's Darden School of Business recently published its application deadlines for the coming admissions season. Here they are, followed by our comments in italics:
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