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As I’ve gone through college, grad school, and now my first full time job, I’ve met people from all different backgrounds. Meeting people from such a wide variety of backgrounds is always exciting. Hearing about how other people have made it to where they are allows us to put our own situations in perspective.
When I think back to college, most freshmen show up with the cord still attached to their parents. College students are typically broke after all, and going to college is usually the first time we leave home. If you’re not calling home to ask for more money, then you’re probably calling because you’re homesick.
Of course, some people stay a little more attached than others. I know a few people whose parents completely covered the cost of college and grad school for them. I also know a few friends who had to talk to their parents at least once a day on the phone because they wanted to and/or their parents were checking up on them.
On the other end of the spectrum, there are those parents that cut the cord immediately after high school. Once their kids go off to college, they’re completely on their own. There’s no help from Mom or Dad anymore. Sometimes it’s intentional, and sometimes it’s because the parents are in so much debt themselves that they can’t afford to help out.
What has my experience been? It definitely falls somewhere in between. While I’m fortunate enough to have parents who saved enough to help me cover the cost of my undergraduate years, the cord was cut when I went to grad school. (That’s why this blog exists!)
Now it’s your turn. When did your parents cut the cord?
This is actually a very relevant post for me at this time. I'm about to enter my senior year in college. My parents vowed to cover the first four years of college. After that I'm on my own, which I very much appreciate.
When I come home, I get food and shelter. That's more than enough. I rarely ever asked for money while away at college because I saved enough from the summer and spent (somewhat)wisely/carefully. So food, shelter and school is what I get from my parents. Some people I know get more and some less. It seems I'm also somewhere in between though I feel a bit spoiled at times for this. All my parents ask in return is for a weekly phone call.
Got the cord cut the day I got dropped at the bus depot to take me to basic training, after being drafted. I've been welcome to visit home, but never to stay longer than a week.
I am in the same boat you are, my parents cut the cord after college. They offer to help, but I am to proud to take it, so I have piled on the debt and finished my masters degree but the nice thing is I know they are there if and when I need them. It may not be a cord, but maybe a small piece of string.
My parents were able to save enough to cover both my brother and my tuition at school for 4 years. However, 75% of what either of us made during our summer jobs we had to pay to them for school (granted, making minimum wage the most it ever amounted to was $3,000). By knowing that a lot of what I was making during my summer job would be going towards school, I spent/saved my remaining money wisely.
Once I graduated, I moved back home with my parents, although I owed them a certain amount each month as 'rent', which was still far less than I'd have spent on a place anywhere in the city.
Now that I'm in grad school, I'm on my own paying for that though.
Age 11. Went to military school and never looked back. Emancipated myself at 17 just in time to get aid for college. Supported myself all through college. Moved to NYC on my own. I look on with dispassionate amazement at those in their 20s still struggling to make it on thier own.
My sister was the first to college. She took out loans but recieved about 50% of tuition from our parents.
When I got to college, I until the last year when I did not save wisely and my scholarships ran out.
My sister and I are very different though. With me I feel like my parents really cut me off, or at least didn't make efforts to connect since high school...like they wanted to give me room to mature.
My sister now lives 15 minutes from my parents, works with my Mom and shares many activities through the week with them. She often recieves financial help from them too.
I am 1700 miles away, working on my own career, paying my way through grad school, and am self-sufficient enough to purchase a home without any help. The joke in the family is that I will be supporting everyone in the future years. I'm not sure how I feel about that...
I was lucky to have others pay for my college education. My mother was a school teacher, and her salary paid for my tuition as well as room and board, while my dad's salary supported my parents. My paternal grandfather gave me his 1966 Dodge Dart (built the year I was born) and both sets of grandparents paid for my books.
I worked summers at Wal-Mart for spending money, which covered food on the weekends, gasoline, and entertainment.
I never really had a cord but I guess I cut the line myself at 18. Unfortunately my mom was a single parent and was in a load of debt. I couldn't even get financial aid b/c she supposedly made too much money. It wasn't until I had my son at 19 that I was able to go to school without having to pay. Of course I had to take out un/subsidized loans but I decided to go to school online to kind of cut the overhead costs and to be able to work. Its not easy but I'll always appreciate my early independence. Hopefully I can provide some kind of life line to my kids.
My mom covered all my college tuition, I didn´t have to move because college was not that far, but I got a car. I always worked while studying to earn some money to spend, usually on stupid things. I graduated last February, and I´ve been looking for a job since, she still supports me, it´s kind of embarrassing being 23 and still depend on my mom, but it´s not my fault either. I´m very grateful for what she has done, I want to keep studying but there´s no way I´m going to ask her for more money.
Age 15: I got my first job. It helped me pay for university (my BA).
I worked, and paid for my MA at the same time.
Mine cut the cord when they sold me to the Belgian slave dealers...
My parents helped me get through college, they paid about half of my tuition, and I pulled out loans for the rest. I had a couple of internships and jobs during college, but I spent most, if not all, of that money having fun. And I don't regret it. Yes, I have some student loans to pay off now, but it was well worth it. When I look back, it was those times when I went out and had fun in college that I really remember. So continuing to pay for those school loans doesn't bother me.
Now that I'm out in the real world and have a job, I pay for everything on my own, but I know if I ever need anything my parents are there for me.
When I came out of the woumb
I don't think my parents really believed in "cutting the cord" because they always had expectations of me and I followed them for the most part.
My mom passed away when I was 18, and I tried to make it through my first year of school on my own, but I just ended up in financial trouble (maxed out credit cards) so I had to ask for help if I wanted to finish school.
My dad co-signed a student line of credit with me, and that was fine with a part-time job for a while if I worked 30+ hours a week. But then I realized that I needed to get experience related to my future career, so I asked him if I could replace working at a clothing store for minimum wage with taking on meaningful projects, and he agreed to help me pay for my living expenses.
I recently moved back home and he doesn't make me pay room and board, but he expects me to save the money I make to move out on my own. Also, I can't tear up the place and be a slob.
I don't think there's anything wrong with that, though. I'm not a spoiled brat, but my dad wants me to succeed and he's helping me in the way he can -- financially. He's not exactly one for heart-to-hearts or late-night phone calls...
I have pretty much experienced both ends of the spectrum. When I first moved out to go to college at 18, my tuition and books were all paid for through scholarships that I earned, so my parents agreed to pay for all my living expenses and pretty much all of my social "expenses" as well. My Dad wanted me to truly experience college so he looked down on me even working at first, but I insisted, hoping for some independence and quickly began working 30+ hours a week serving and bartending. However, most of this money went to fun things like traveling or Spring Break or nice clothes. I never had the need to save money or think too far in advance about emergency savings.
Then, going into my 3rd year of college, my Dad lost everything including our family business due to his drug addiction. We went from a middle/upper income family to broke. They lost the family home, my parents divorced, and I went from having every bill paid to having to 100% support myself within months.
It was scary and hard, and I've racked up a small amount of debt (nothing I'm really worried about), but it was probably the best thing that ever happened to me. I ended up going into my career fulltime while a junior in college and it's pushed me ahead of my peers by leaps and bounds. I am a financially independent adult who has no financial support system to fall back on and I've learned the true meaning of money and what matters (i.e. the difference between needs and wants).
Stop using your companies pre-printed thank you notes. Hand write a thank you note! Hand writing is much more personal and it shows you care. More...
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