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I’ve never started a long distance relationship and made it “the distance”. As many of you begin your summer internships apart from your significant others, I hope that you can learn from my missteps and experience the best that long distance love has to offer—or at least survive the summer as a couple.
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Comments
06.05.09
Kaneisha, I've been in one serious long distance relationship (that I'm no longer in) due to the serious strain it puts on each person. So I hear you out and I think the advice you have given here, is so good.
Hindsight is always 20/20, right?
I will also mention that since you're talking about going away for a summer or semi-permanently, it's different than being long distance because you both live in different cities. This is hard and the solution here is to repeat all your steps, but when talking about expectations you MUST have a light at the end of the tunnel or milestone, or else you will drive yourself crazy. If you don't work toward a common goal (e.g. in a year, I'm moving to X city to be near or with you, etc.) then you're headed toward frustration and easy failure.
Great points and thanks for sharing :)
06.05.09
My husband and I dated long-distance for three years before getting married. One of the key advantages is that we talked about everything. Not just our daily activities, but our values and goals and everything else under the sun.
We think that we actually knew each other better when we got married because of this. If we'd lived in the same place, it would have been easier to see each other frequently. But because our relationship was based on conversation, we didn't get as caught up in discussing the day-to-day routine as we might have if we'd been able to take those conversations for granted.
06.05.09
Great post!
I do believe that communication is key and thanks for noting that men really don't enjoy talking on the phone. :) During the long distance times of relationships I've had, I can say they have been very exhausting. I think the amount of effort that is taken to keep in touch is much more than if you were nearby. I finally concluded I could no longer do long distance relationships, which led me to move in with my wife after only a few months of dating. I uprooted myself from my current workplace and moved a state away so we could live together. I don't recommend it, lol, but it worked out for us.
01.25.10
"Straight men do not enjoy talking on the phone for extended periods of time. "
This is SO TRUE!!!!
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