Already a member?
Welcome to Brazen Careerist!
Emily Ma is using Brazen Careerist to share ideas. Join now to become a member and start networking with Emily Ma and other professionals just like you. Learn more.
Brazen careerist
Where ambitious young professionals connect and grow
Email
Print
My brother in law always jokes that there’s two types of good. Good. And good for nothin’!
I think that applies to advice too. And I love helping people and a huge part of that is giving advice.
As the Chief Body Tutor of Read this author's blog.
For more timely, relevant, and engaging articles,
subscribe to Brazen Careerist.
- Why You Might Be Better Off Without a Job After College
- Continuing Education: Extending Learning Beyond Your Campus Years
- A New Kind of Business Mover and Shaker
- How To Find a Writing Partner Who Can Help You Achieve Your Goals and Make More Money
- The Anti-Stalker’s Guide for Converting Online Contact into Real World Collaboration
Comments
06.03.09
Hmm, interesting. I think the best way to give advice is by making the other person believe they came up with the solution on their own and I can see how asking the right questions can achieve that. I oftentimes ask my friends to NOT give me ANY opinion or advice on what I'm saying. Especially when it comes to relationships -- I am the only one that knows what's really going on, so I don't need advice of a friend that has only heard my biased side of the story.
06.03.09
@ Katya Of course, if you don't want advice then your friends shouldn't offer it. But that's the problem...you are biased! I think the best way to tell if you're acting irrationally in a relationship (or possibly any situation) is to pretend you were on the outside looking in.
But that's hard to do for many people. We all have a story we tell ourselves. And most of the time our story omits the negatives.
06.03.09
Great post, Adam.
As someone who plays confidante to waaaay too many people, I have learned to discern when people just want you to agree with them vs when they actually want to know what you think about their situation.
When they want you to agree with them, they'll usually talk up their side to high heaven, and then say "don't you think so?"
I think that if you're going to ask advice, you should be ready to hear something new that you may have to factor in and think about.
And if you're going to give advice, it's a good idea to ask questions for sure.
But then again, it's a good idea for people to figure things out on their own...it's their decision in the end anyway, no matter what you say!
06.03.09
@ Mehnaz - Thanks! Absolutely. People always believe what they tell themselves and are going to do what they want to do.
Also, I'm not saying people shouldn't figure things out on their own. All I'm saying is if you should ask for advice figure out what kind of advice you want before you ask for it.
06.03.09
I have to agree with you here Adam, and to build on what Mehnaz said, sometimes, when I'm on the advice-giving end, I differentiate between want to hear/need to hear and sometimes I don't. With some friends, they come to me because they know I'll tell them what they need to hear. No bull secretions (love that) and just brutal (and sometimes ugly) truth. Other friends know I'll feed their ego, so they come to me to hear what they want to hear.
More often than not, I'll tell people what they need to hear, because I am a firm believer in advice karma, and I want to hear the truth if I'm asking for advice.
This post got me thinking about how I approach people when I have a need for an opinion. I'm in the process of evaluating that part now. Thanks for getting the wheels turning!
12.29.09
I hear ya. My job is to dispense the kind of advice that will keep you from getting killed. I always find it interesting how hard it is for some people to accept advice and take instruction. Watching other people unable to do it gracefully has helped me to up my game. Sometimes the best way to learn to take advice is to give it for a while and see how hard it can be to impart a little wisdom!
Great post.
Got Something To Say?
Got Something To Say?
Not a Member? Brazen Careerist is a career management tool for next-generation professionals. Set up a free account today to comment on this post and start sharing your ideas. Learn more.
Login to view your networks!
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
